"Haven't I seen you before?" == "Nice ass."
"I'm a Romantic." == "I'm poor."
"I need you" == "My hand is tired."
"I want a commitment." == "I'm sick of masturbation."
"You're the only girl I've ever cared about" == "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
"I really want to get to know you better." == "So I can tell my friends about it."
"It's just orange juice, try it." == "3 more shots, and you'll have your legs around my head."
"She's kinda cute." == "I want to have sex with her till I am blue."
"I don't know if I like her" == "She won't sleep with me."
"I miss you so much" == "I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good."
"How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" == "Is my penis really that small?"
"I had a wonderful time last night." == "Who the hell are you?"
"Do you love me?" == "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
"Do you 'really' love me?" == "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."
"How much do you love me?" == "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."
"I'll give you a call." == "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."
"I've been thinking a lot." == "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
"I think we should just be friends." == "You're ugly."
I think we should see other people == "I'm cheating on you"
"I Love You" == "Let's have sex now"
"I've learned a lot from you." == "Next!!!!
