Poems on abuse
I am a survivor of incest, rape, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. Here are some poems I wrote about what happened to me
I awaken
My body is still shaking
I am crying
I can't go on lying
Did he touch me
My reply would be no
But deep down inside
The pain hurts me so
Unable to tell
It will happen again
Keeping it locked inside
I feel the pain
Knock, knock upon the door
In walks the pain
Just close my eyes and ignore
Focus on the rain
I open my eyes to see the pain
Staring me in the eyes
This is wrong but he doesn't care
He won't realize
He gets up satisfied
And walks out
It will happen again
Without a doubt
Unable to tell
It will hurt even more
This secret I must keep
Forevermore
Innocence turned black
Like the dark midnight sky
Used to be pure and soft
Like a bedtime lullaby
Fear lingers all night
In those pretty green eyes
Look further
Look at the pain she hides
It hurts so much
She wants to cry
But she holds it all in
She is forced to lie
Forgive and forget
Is what she was taught
But how can she forget the touch
Or the pain that it brought
Little girl
Cries at night
The dreams she dreams
Full of fright
She tries to wake up
Yells and screams
No one can hear her
Because "it is only a dream"
She tries to fight
But it only hurts more
Grew up fast
Not a child anymore
He said he loved me
He said he cared
He promised he wouldn't hurt me
He said I would enjoy it
Then I felt the pain
Then I saw the blood
I said it hurt
I told him to stop
I said I wanted to go home
He held his hand over my mouth
I kicked him
He hit me
He knocked me out cold
Now floating far away
Where no one would hurt me
Laying on the rumpled sheets
Naked and alone
Swirls of blood and tears
Covering my body
Thought he cared
Thought he loved me
I thought wrong
I can hear him in the other room
Going about his business
Oblivious to what he did
He goes into the bathroom
And washes himself off
He throws away the towel
But no amount of scrubbing
Will remove the dirt from me
Like a ragdoll left outside in the mud
I will be stained forever
He approached me so gently
Sweetly saying my name
Like he was singing a sing
Thought nothing could go wrong this time
Where did my sweet man go I would wonder
As he hovered above me
With eyes of a beast
Ready to feast on his prey
The passion was gone
Chased out by demands
He stands there stroking
As I lay choking on my tears
I say no I beg but can't scream
He says yes and he slams in hard
No rhythm no love
I am floating above my body
I am almost dead
to scream is a waste
I open my mouth
and an empty scream escapes
it all appears surreal
the blackness
the dirt and tar filling my soul
searching for a way to escape
it flows into my heart
and into my mind
and every fiber of my being
what was pure is tarnished
what was innocent is evil
Footsteps echoing down the hall
closer and closer
until they stop
right outside my door
Why does he bother knocking
when he will walk right in
My how polite
Well I should be used to the routine
Recite the same words
Do you love me he asks
Oh yes I lie
Well tonight is different
Cast another character
I'm NOT playing my part
I'm NOT taking the blame
THIS IS NOT MY SHAME
You can dump it on me
But I'll give it back
I am safe
And I have a voice and I said no
NO!
Did you hear me this time
So walk back down the hall
and take the games, the shame
Because NO ONE is going to hurt me
EVER AGAIN
Cast another character
I'm NOT playing the game
I'm NOT taking the blame
THIS IS NOT MY SHAME
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All poems Copyright 
2004 by Katey Ratz. Must contact author for permission to use.
Email: KateyKat626@yahoo.com
