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Here are the Reports, past to present!
THE RUMOR TO END ALL RUMORS 7/31/00
Okay, for those of you who do know them(and frankly don't bother posting so cuz it
doesn't matter)I'm not making fun of you, just those who are fake(I am not pointing
fingers, only you know who you are). Here's my take at it...well well...I know a guy who
lives in Bowie where JC is from, but he doesn't know him personally but its a connection
and anyway...he says, JC is going out with his neighbor's cousin's daughter through
marraige, and she told him that she's having his twins and one has 8 fingers on one hand
and 2 on the other, and he has a third eye
As for the rest of the guys: 1.
Justin's going out with Soliel Moon Frye(yup Punky Brewster is at it again) I heard this
from the man himself(wellll, not actually but someone I know had a dream about him
saying this) 2.
A guy who once waited on the boys(he showed me the napkin that ACTUALLY wiped
up the ketchup Joey spilled on the floor) said Joey was making out with alyssa
milano(hmm, could it be witchcraft?) 3. A new york stripper said her coworker hooked up
with Lance after the HBO concert, they're engaged and headed to Vegas 4. AND
Chris...hmmm...well, some peeps told me he's with Dani, but of course,THAT Is JUST A
RUMOR(spread by Chris himself, oh and Dani and there's pics everywhere of the two...
but still, it can't be true cuz the guy who bought one of Chris's braids at an auction for a
half a mil is psychic and told me soo, the nerve of some people)....yupO:-)honestly!!
Apparently this caused an uproar cuz someone later emailed me that Korea told her Chris's was lying! Well
the answer is simple, if Korea told you that, then Chris would go around and finally admit
that Korea is messing with the Litrell's chichuachaus(for the love of Brian, how the @*$
do you spell that word) and that's why they were REALLY missing. Lou Pealman himself
told me that, well actually I was dreaming that I was cooking breakfast and they looked
like him and sizzling sausage(vegetarian of course :P )on the grill sounded like it was
telling me this.
For awhile no reports came in til Lindsey posted me a message stating that Jc's uncles friends' sisters grandma's blacksmiths hairstylists step-daughter's iguana wantws me to set up a date with jc's ear wax. The credibility of this info is still being checked the rumor about Lance and Joey being at the Playboy Mansion instead of the Teen Choice
Awards was totally true, cuz Joey took Busta with him, and Busta came back bragging
about how all the gilrs loved him and stuff! I think Dirk is just jealous!
But what's this "no more questions"? I have lots of questions. Like:
Is it true what Justin's turtle said about Chris? That he's really dating Rosie O'Donnell but
Dani helps him out by pretending to be his g/f so Rosie isn't harrassed by fans since she
has his two kids?
Or, how about what Dirk the ferret told Busta about Lance? About how he still has that
big old afro wig from the Jackson 5 medley stashed in his closet and likes to wear it when
no one else is around.
And my favorite rumor - and I really believe this one because Joey's dog, Patches, told
Korea, who told my cousin's friend's older brother who told my pet fish, Cleo - that JC
recently installed bells in his Jeep that he likes to ring before he picks up his girl. It
sounds just like the Good Humor Man coming down the street. That one's a little freaky
for me, but apparently, some people really like ice cream. VIVA LA NPR!!!
woaaaahhh!! humorous rumor overload!!!! I love it. Esp. the Rosie O Donell one even
though I was told by the turtle as well that it's an actual toss up between her and Kathie
Lee Gifford and they're on the verge of starting a royal rumble with the other boys real
girlfriends. IT seems like they've gone on a talk show host trend. I mean JC with
Sally(HEE HEE), Joey with Ricky(oh boy),Lance with Oprah. BUT I mean, Juju's turtle
has no room to talk considering his owner's been sighted leaving hotel rooms with
JERRY SPRINGER...I mean, come on!! that's just wrong, he's old enough to be his
grandpa.
Yeah, I heard rumors about Lance's afro fetish it goes right along with the Jerry Springer
thing I mean, people thing its posh spice but we all know Justin's totin that spice girl
outfit he used in U Drive Me Crazy.
Oh and the Good humor bells, yum! I'm never gonna look at my ice cream man the same
again...uh, of course he's like 60, but everytime I hear that ice cream truck music,I'll think
of JC, icecream...heh heh
jzsongbird REPORTS: Okay, wait, I am confused! I heard that Justy's turtle told Dirk, who told my cousin's
brothers uncle's girlfriends fish "sleepy", that JC's alter ego french Fry Freddy was dating
ASHLEY OLSEN, not mary kate!! That dang turtle! can't he ever get a story right?
First off, it's Dirk the ferret that wears the trench. Never underestimate a weasel. My
sister has two and they're always up to no good. One of her ferrets, Sky, spoke with Dirk
just the other day. He was just chilling at the pool while Lance was busy behind closed
doors still wearing that afro and trying to finally get the dance steps down. Anyway, he
said that Justin's turtle (Tanto? sorry but ferrets are really bad with names) is a
compulsive liar and it was him that actually started that Justin/Britney engagement rumor.
It seems that he was pissed that Justin was getting all the booty and not sharing.
Korea reported that Rosie dumped Chris since he has continually ignored her request that
Fuman make shirts to fit the more, how should I put this, larger breasted woman. Then
she told him that the kids weren't really his anyway. She was just using Chris to get to her
real fantasy: Joey.
A certain Poodle let it slip that Rosie sent Joey a box of Italian pastries in hopes of getting
his attention. Unfortunately for Joey, the Poodle ate them all (if the Poodle ain't talking,
he's eating) and blamed it on Patches. Now Patches is in the doghouse (literally). But
that's okay because a little chipmunk stopped by to give him the 411 on Justin.
It seems our favorite poster boy wants to date the twins from the movie The Parent Trap.
Now, the turtle tried to explain that it's really only one girl but since he has a rep for lying,
Justy's just not listening. He keeps trying to get pointers from JC about how to juggle two
girls at once. Dirk says he should talk to Lance but I'm not sure what that's about.
And that just leaves the incredible, edible, JC Chasez.
Rumor (isn't it always) has it that JC has locked himself away in his studio. He
supposedly busy composing a new song about life on the Nsync tour bus. The working
title is "What's That Smell?" I think that this one is true since it came from such a credible
source - my mailman's 2nd cousin's insurance agent's daughter's hamster. And I'm sorry,
but hamsters don't lie.
Is it just me or does anybody else hear bells?
Oh, wait, that's just JC driving up the street. Soon, NPR was moving at full stride...reports from every part of the US were coming in! and that's when we knew NPR was here to stay!
Girl, you know I heard a lot of the same stuff...no s*&t!
But I heard the first just a little differently, I thought it was Mitzi (Brit's dog) who was the
whiney one and spreading the rumor about Justin and Britney. For the same reason, but
who knows maybe it was jealousy on both ends.
Next, Korea was right on point about Rosie and Chris.....But you left a few things out,
Joey wants nothing to do with Rosie now because she joined forces with a certain 4 year
old munchkin and they took Joey's favorite treasure troll out for a long walk on a short
pier! If had been me, I just would of....well nevermind.
Now I'm even about to touch the one about Justin and the twins from that movie....ok,
maybe I will! My oh My, this is a little touchy, but I heard from Pepper AND from
Bobbie's pup Baby (gotta feel for that doggy) that Justin and JC were talking last night
(JC took a break from the studio) about Justin's new fantasy........and Bobbie walked in on
Jc's pointers on how to juggle two girls at once. We all knew JC was a Pimp Daddy,
LOL! Well, Miss Thang herself got sooooo upset with over hearing that her man knew
sooooo much on how to handle two girls at once that she went into this huge tantrum and
her hair turned GREEN in the middle of her hissy fit! LMAO!
After seeing this and it scaring the crap out of him, JC went back into the studio and
continued work on his new NUMBER ONE HIT not "What's that Smell?" but his other
future hit "HA, I GOT YO' BITCH". Apparently that's supposed to be *NSYNC's BIG
SONG on the new album, along with the mega ballad he's working on..."I'll never take
the Ice Cream away...".
I know that this new news about the new material for the album is credible because it
came from a VERY reliable source- my beautician's daughter's best friends iguana Ziggy!
And you know those Iguana's NEVER lie!
**No it's not just you, I heard the bells too, but they past up my house! :*o(! LOL! I guess
our girl..well we won't touch that one, now will we! LOL! ~~*DIMPLES THEN, THINGS STARTED GOING OFF THE WALL!!!!
NSYNC PET REPORTERS RUNS AMUCK!!
After inquiring whether Busta was the mastermind behind 'ol mighty figgybeans Member
Album Idea, Nsync Pet Reporter star's message posting ability was blocked by an
unknown source. Suspecting mischief,figgy got in touch with fellow reporter lucy who's
been gettin some scoops from monsieur mouse. Busta, korea, lance, dirk...and Mangoes??
nuff said. Figgybean recounted to lucy the events that occurred prior to star's mishap,
"hmm, I think Busta is out to get star!! Earlier she asked if Busta had something to do
with my idea for Member Album...I denied it but don't think she believed me, then Busta
scampered off with a gleam in his eye..." Busta was accused earlier of a urination incident
towards Star's poodle Fubu and was speculated of having left her a present in her
shoe...however Star was saved due to her lack of shoes thanks to her dog's advice, "My
dog Fubu said I shouldnt cause he didnt trust busta either". Rumor has it that Busta is also
on the midst of tracking all the Pet Reporters correspondents, humans and animals alike.
Lucy, a longtime gossiper, er reporter shows no sign of retiring her reports,
"tell busta to come on and try to get anything out of me......i'm/we're on the side of
dirk......they kinda look alike". It must be noted that if any insiders or readers received an
unmarked box of scooby snacks,they are to leave it alone and report it to the proper
animal shelter so that it may be handled accordingly. More news to come...we now return
you to the scheduled program already in progress....
THEN THE UNSPEAKABLE HAPPENED....
AND THINGS GOT WORSE...
Uh, hi everyone(I'm so glad dogs can't read between parentheses)...figgybean here with
busta(help me)...I just wanted to clear some things up(he's holding me hostage)...star,
lucy, the new reporter sabrina, an I(guys help)are conspiring with all of Nsync mean li'l
pets to ruin the clean and wonderful reputation of the beloved pug, Mr. Busta(I think I've
been poisoned). He is so awesome and sweet to have invited to a gathering of his
friends(oh my god i'm in hellmouth's kitchen!). Sharing all the fun(I can't anymore
torture!!) is lucy's mouse. Do not worry(hurry) Monsieur is doing fine(I don't think he's
gonna make it)! He's being well fed(yeah, rotten cheese is such a blessing)and enjoying
all the games provided(is pin the mouse on the cat's nose considered fun??). I, myself am
having a blast(nothing like being tied to a cold wooden chair, in front of a computer
screen with no screen cover, typing all this BS to fool him into thinking I'm on his side)!!
So I just wanna say that all the Nsync Pet Reporters are frauds(I'm sorry), and because
I've admitted it I'm here partying in a privately owned island(guys, go to 1234 Bark
Place!! You'll find a huge dog house in the back,lift it up and go down the hole and you
will slide all the way to a giant cave...there are many forked paths but here's the
pattern...right, left, left, right, right,left left, right...and you'll find lucy's mouse...I'm
behind the third green and orange striped door!) so I won't be posting anymore cuz I'm
having too much fun(not, it's cuz I think he's starting to suspect and if you don't hurry, I'm
going to be sharkbait!!).
Ta ta my friends(and now, the end is near)
figgybean(or used to be)!
ONE BY ONE THE KEY MEMBERS OF NPR START TO DISAPPEAR...
ON A GOOD NOTE: 8/21/00 6:21 pm
Cute and furry mouse. Very distraught and beat up pretty bad. Has brand on stomache
with the initial "B" on it. Owner please contact. Mouse speaks french and insists his name
is "Monsieur". FOUND BY JZSONGBIRD
JZsongbird and Sabrinaw have desperately tried to find our whereabouts with no luck(being that I'm carefully being watched by busta, I'm of no help)!
NPR SEARCH AND RESCUE MISSION BY SABRINAW 8/21/00 7:36 pm
I'm standing here in this empty room, i think monsieur mouse was here, but im not sure.
There are all kinds of stick figures, pictures and languages i've never seen before...lucy
perhaps you could translate: o--<, +--<, ^^#&*, skkkkeeeeccck, #$))(&, ***--><, thats all
i can make out..........
i dont know how much time i have until bustas people come back, but i cant find figgy or
monseuir mouse anywhere....wait, theres a floor board loose in the floor...i think he
escaped....
i must go, i thought i had a heartattack with all these statues here that resemble bustas
crew. i thought i was being surrounded, but it was just the statues.....i know...grr, ruff,
grrrrroooowwwllll.........i have to get out of here before its to late,, i will contact again ,
when ive made it back to the safe house
AFTER CORRESPONDING WITH SABRINAW I THOUGHT MY LUCK OF ESCAPING WAS CLOSE. THEN BUSTA BECAME SUSPICIOUS...
OKAY NPR TIME...thankgod jzsongbird found Monsieur and i see you found his
code...I have no idea where I am at this poing but I think he does so get lucy to decode
it...OH CRAP, Lucy's been kidnapped too!!! Apparently the sneaky ferret is jealous of
Busta so he had to go and get his own NPR slave! What's next...AND WHERE IS
STAR???? Oh pleeeeaaaase tell me she's safe!! I've been updating Sabrina so NPR, report
to her!!!! I'm trying to figure out Busta's schedule as soon as I know what time he's away
we'll have an emergency chat!! PLLLLEEEEAASSSSEEE try to find Lucy first...I'm
okay, but I don't know bout her...uh oh I hear someone
coming...aeroighrghgohgohenrgohorhg....aoh...awero
THEN BUSTA STEPPRD IN.... 8/21/00 9:00 pm
Im sorry everyone! Figgy didn't mean to type all those lies. she's actually quite happy here with me...I mean, I even hired her as my right hand woman! She types for me and spreads the word about nsync for me. BTW anything from dirk, jz, sabrina, star, and lucy is a lie!!! only I speak the truth! So...don't bother looking for her see I'm gonna let her type it herself...YEP I'm a happy camper(OMG, AND WHOEVER THOUGHT I'D FIND OUT SOMETHING MORE EVIL THAN MY BROTHERS), don't worry bout me! Love y'all and miss talking to ya but it's all good(SECRET CHAT COMING SOON,ASK SABRINA FOR DETAILS)!!
editor in chief
Nsync Pet Reporters
https://www.angelfire.com/wi/cheekyland/
figgybean@yahoo.com
Hey y'all NPR is reborn, sorta! Check it out here!
figgybean@yahoo.com
It all started with this post I made in NSYNC GIRLFRIENDS ONLINE:
8/2
Jzsongbird gave us an update around the same time coming from the mouth of Dirk(Lance's ferret):
Due to some commotion(catfights)
NPR took a rest from trying to lighten up the mood, and almost retired. Figgybean also suspected some foul play being planned by the annoyed Nsync pets. However a letter from Hochjopoda, revived the REPORTERS:
NPR ISSUE:8/15
REPORT FROM KANDI_GURL99:(P)Ok, you guys will never guess what I heard....Apparently Justin's turtle Tanto has been
talking again because he told Busta, who told my uncles dog Buddy, who then told my
fish Crystal, who told me that JC is secretly dating one of the Olsen Twins ( I think she
said Mary Kate!) behind Bobbie's back, BUT get this.... Bobbie is secretly dating one of
the guys from that new KICK ASS group 2+Gether! If I'm not mistaken she's with the
"Shy One" Chad!! Yup Yup, that's what I heard. Oh yeah, and JC isn't JC when he's with
Mary Kate, he turns into his alter ego French Fry Freddy from No Refund! Man, I knew
something was up with those two!!! ~*B*~ 
NPR ISSUE: 8/17(reporter unknown)
NPR ISSUE 8/17:(from Dimples)
NPR SPECIAL REPORT!! ISSUE:8/19/00 2:53 am
8/19/00 10:57 pm
Lost or missing...one very loved mouse that answers to the name of Monsieur.
Last time seen....early morning hours on the 18th of Aug, under the street light with a
very small creature which looked alot like a small dog....
If seen please contact the owner on the tags...there will be a BIG reward if found and
returned UNharmed. 
NPR ISSUE 8/20/00 7:08 am:
"8/20
Now for Figgy...they have found me and taken me to a cave somewhere(help,they are
letting the bats tickle my toes)and for some reason Dirk is here(he is demanding that we
give all our info from Justin's turtle) i keep telling him i don't know what he is talking
about(hide the wire tapes...they are coming for them) and that he needs to find someone
else to pick on..."hey, cute that out Dirk,that's not fair"(please hurry won't someone help
us.....(Star and Sabrina are our only hopes now, and tell monsieur that i tried to get to
yall) oh no Dirk is trying to decose this message so i have to go...Over and
Out.....HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!LUCY"
NPR SEARCH AND RESCUE MESSAGE 8/21/00, 8:49PM: 
