MAN FORGETS, APOLOGIZES

A man in Texas who promised not to forget about the September 11th attacks on America accidently forgot while playing super nintendo a couple days ago. The man promised not to do it again and issued a formal apology.

SIR MIX A LOT CHANGES MIND, PREFERS SMALL BUTTS

Rapper Sir Mix A Lot is known for his hit talking of how he enjoys the female rump. However he recently issues a statement saying his anaconda does want some if you ain't got buns hone.

COW OF AMERICA TO BE SPARED

A cow with a mark in the shape of America was spared from dying this week, however the cow with the mark of Kathy Lee Gifford was killed several times, burnt, and then exorcised.

MAN SUES GOD FOR NEGLEGENCE

A man from somewhere is pressing charges against god for neglegence of all of his children. God has yet to respond with a formal comment. The man pressed charges after he was hit by a semi truck, then thrown in tar.