Urban Shadows
by Ruth Murphy
She hated the city. Ever since she was a little girl and had been dragged in to
visit her father, the packed buildings and the crush of people had made her itch
for her country home. It was even worse now, but she had a duty to her father.
Ever since the divorce, he had found comfort with one bimbo after another, some
barely older than her. The latest one, Candi ‘ oh my gosh!’ Evens had a voice
that after five minutes made her run for the door. It was not their fault, but
compared to her ferocious mother, these children seemed mere shades.
Nevertheless, it made her father happy and she would not begrudge him happiness
after the years of fighting that had torn her family to shreds. If this new
peace meant putting up with Candi, then so be it. But that didn’t mean she had
to enjoy visiting this concrete jungle.
Every fibre of her being screamed for space and fresh air. The scents assailed
her and the garish lights made her retreat to a dark alleyway. Her father still
did not know the truth about her and she doubted he even noticed that she had
left the flat. She paced the streets by day and skulked in the shadows by night.
She found enough food here and it was easy pickings, but it was tainted and made
her ill. She would have to leave the city soon and return to her home, making
vague promises of returning. She glanced up the sky, searching for the familiar
stars, but could see none in the blinding glare of the streetlights. She sighed
heavily before slipping out into the smothering darkness.
His walk betrayed his unfamiliarity with his surroundings. It was the walk of a
victim, quick but with frequent glances to determine where he was. Any human
predator, such as the thieves or murders who lurked in places such as these,
would recognise it from miles away. As it was, he attracted something far more
dangerous. It raised his head as he passed, peeling back it's lips to taste the
air and grinned viciously as his scent revealed the hunter’s prize: fear. This
bloody shadow detached itself from the gloom of the alleys and began to track
him.
He could hear someone behind him and instinctively he quickened his pace.
Whoever it was kept in step with him and he felt the first flicker of fear.
Stories of rape and murder rushed through his mind and the fear stretched out
one icy hand and clamped it firmly on the back of his neck. He veered away from
the path, desperately searching for the bright lights and crowded places that
could hide him, but as he did not know the city he only succeeded in running
into a dark alley. He could see his hotel ahead and knew that he had only a few
more streets to go, but the sound of whatever was following him slinking into
the alley made the distance seem miles. He kept walking, faster and faster,
until fear took over and he broke into a run. His pursuer also began to run,
gaining on him effortlessly. He sprinted hard, tearing over the ground as fear
leant him wings, but even as he ran he could feel it getting closer. He could
hear its breathing and feel its hot breath on his shins and then a huge weight
slammed into his back. It had sharp claws that shredded his flimsy shirt and a
long muzzle that was pressed into the back of his neck. It was thickly furred
and very, very big if its weight was anything to go by. Its jaws closed around
him and he closed his eyes, hoping that the beast would kill him before it began
feeding. What was it? What kind of person would allow a dog this large to roam
the streets? Why hadn’t anyone caught it? The questions were abruptly driven
from his mind as he felt the claws slid under his arms and he was suddenly
flipped over. He stared at its fearsome claws, slavering jaws and the abject
hunger in its eyes and knew for certain that this was no dog. This was a wolf,
but one so big that it was almost human size. It was a deep grey that faded to
silver underneath, a truly beautiful animal. It had the strangest eyes, a
grey-blue with a ring of amber in the centre. It was sitting at his feet,
staring at his face. There was intelligence in that look, this was no mindless
killing machine. In fact, for a wolf to be in the city and attacking men, it
must be starving. Strangely, it seemed well fed. It padded forward, placing its
paws carefully on his chest. It seemed anxious not to hurt him, a change of
heart that he welcomed. It leant in to his face, rubbing its muzzle against his
cheek and inhaling his scent. Something flicked through the strange eyes,
something that looked a little like confusion and a little like recognition. It
was stupid, he told himself, animals do not feel, but he could have sworn he saw
emotions in those eyes. He did not move, fearful of angering it, so lay as still
as he could as it exploring his form. He understood a little about wolves and
knew they relied mostly on scent for identification. It was almost as if it
wanted to find out who he was. It crossed his mind that this could be an escaped
wolf, and that perhaps he smelled a little like one of its keepers. If this was
the case, it might associate him with the bringing of food – or it might try to
kill him, for fear of capture.
The wolf sat back on its haunches and eyed him carefully. He was not dangerous
and something about his scent was almost comforting. It nagged at the buried
part of its mind and so it merely watched him, trying to decide what to do. It
was not going to kill him, but it didn’t want to let him go either. The man lay
still, watching it watch him and slowly the fear-scent faded away.
As he watched the wolf, it did not seem threatening anymore. It was curious
about him, he realised, and for whatever reason, it was probably not going to
hurt him. He slowly pushed himself to a sitting position, keeping an eye on the
wolf, ready to drop back at any sign of displeasure. When none was forthcoming,
he carefully stood up, wincing slightly as the scratches in his back were still
painful. The wolf rose with him and he realised with a start just how big it
was. He was about 6' and the wolf’s head was nearly level with his own. It still
made no move on him, and he was beginning to think it might just let him pass
when a sudden fireball ripped through the night sky. He lifted his head, dazzled
by the brilliance and when his sight returned, the alleyway was empty. He limped
stiffly forward and found a burning car surrounded by people. He recognised the
car and the owner screaming at the unruffled policeman as his brother, David. He
walked towards his brother, grinning as David finally gave up harassing the
policeman and turned his attention to the firemen struggling with what remained
of his car. His brother was known as the drama queen of the family and so, with
a suitably injured expression, David only noticed his brother once his car was
totally doused.
“Patrick! Look at my beautiful car! Where have you been? What the hell
happened?” Patrick shrugged, not the most pain-free movement he could have
chosen. Something kept him silent about the wolf, something he couldn’t place.
Not that it mattered, he thought, the zoo will catch it soon enough. But
underneath this rational denial, a part of him longed to see the mysterious
animal again.
There had been something there that night, something that touched the hunger
she could not appease and something that had calmed his fear. He had not
understood of course, but the fact that he had not run screaming from her had
been an experience that she had never thought possible. That something had
asserted itself many times…
Patrick was always on edge in the city, feeling claustrophobic in the tangled
streets and isolated in his room. He was only here to attend a prestigious party
with David, a party with the sole purpose of displaying him as marriageable
material. David and his older brother George had married last year, and now the
pressure was on to find him a wife. Patrick did not in the least want to get
married, as he simply hadn’t found anyone he wanted to settle down with. His
longest relationship so far had been two months as he believed in short, two- or
three- week flings that satisfied him but did not reveal his true side. He was
intensely private and would not let anyone get through his shields. His family
knew this, yet they insisted on taking to cities and forcing him into a social
whirl, in the hope of him eventually giving up and resigning himself to his
fate.
Tonight, it was David’s turn to drag him to an opening night party at ‘Lunar’, a
brand new nightclub owned by one of David’s influential friends. Patrick was
reluctantly shepherded into the waiting limousine, dressed smartly by a hired
‘fashion assistant’ (one of David’s more successful ideas) and whisked away into
the night. He stared gloomily out of the window and cast his mind back to the
wolf the night before. He was about to mention it to David when the limousine
slid to a halt. Patrick's cloud of depression lifted as they stepped into the
club entrance. No matter what the ulterior motives for inviting him, he always
enjoyed a good party.
The music blared from the wall, a thumping rhythm that pounded through Patrick's
veins. The club was full of the snobs and hangers-on always invited, but a few
lucky ‘normal’ people had won tickets in a charity raffle. The dance floor was
crammed with these ordinary dancers, and with them were the elite’s prodigal
sons and daughters. All in all, not the worst crowd of people to be with but
certainly not the best. Patrick smiled and nodded pleasantly for a few minutes
and then left David to work his charm on the businessmen.
Patrick had been dancing for hours and now his legs felt as if he had been on a
five mile run. He was almost exhausted and ready to leave, so he pushed his way
from the crowd and went to inform David he was going. The front door banged open
behind him and he spun around, the rest of the club following. In the doorway
stood a woman, who could have been the most attractive creature he had ever
seen. The club took a collective breath and sighed at her entrance. She was tall
and lithe with hard muscles that spoke of many hours at the gym. That is not to
say she was bulky, far from it, but in this crowd of soft indoor people, her
fitness shone out like a beacon. She had a mane of fiery hair that cascaded over
her shoulders and framed a face that was not beautiful but one that you would
remember for life. Her lips were a little too full, her nose too large for the
oval face and her skin was far too pale, but the eyes stood out, piercingly
blue-grey, the eyes of a predator. Separately, her features were nothing special
but collectively they made her stunningly attractive. Patrick knew by now that
what made a woman attractive was not just her body, but the attitude that went
with it, and this woman was strong and intelligent, and always got what she
wanted. She glided across the floor towards him, at once an elegant and sensual
movement, as the club came back to life. The music started afresh and the woman
took his hand and led him to the dance floor. All Patrick's fatigue had
disappeared and he was ready for anything the night might throw at him. The
woman smiled at him and leaned in to him, whispering
“My name is Athena. Are you ready?”
“For what?” Patrick replied, but Athena merely smiled.
Patrick yawned and stretched, struggling to open his eyes. He sat up, pushing
through the fog of sleep as his memories from last night came back through the
dream world. He reached over to the other side of the bed and felt the warm,
rumpled sheets that betrayed he had not slept alone last night. A sudden image
of Athena flashed through his mind as it all came back and he smiled. It was not
unusual for him to bring back a girl from a club, but it was unusual for it to
go as well as it had last night. Athena had been fierce, almost animal-like and
he had tired long before she had. In fact, he remembered drifting off as she
stroked his hair, a reversal he was not accustomed to. Fully awake, he looked
around the room, but he couldn’t see any trace of her. Her clothes were gone, as
was her bag and there was not even a forgotten lipstick to say she had spent the
night. Patrick was a little disappointed at this, as he would have liked a
longer relationship, maybe three or four nights, but showered and got dressed
without any further emotion.
“Good morning sir! You have one message!” the overly enthusiastic receptionist
beamed as Patrick slouched down the stairs. He took the slip of paper and
trudged to the breakfast hall, where David was preening about some offer that
had been made at the party. Patrick slumped into the chair, oblivious to his
brother’s natterings and opened his message. The piece of paper was doused in a
musky perfume and read:
‘You did well Patrick. Will you be ready tonight?’
Patrick didn’t need the signature to know who it was and a slow grin spread
across his face.
Athena crept in through the open window and gratefully collapsed into her bed.
One of the benefits of being in the city was that her father’s eyes and ears
weren’t as sharp as they should be. This was the fifth night that she had slunk
in through the ground floor window, and so far her father was oblivious to her
nightly wanderings. A sudden waft of cheap perfume alerted her, and she sat up
just as Candi flipped the light switch on. Candi strode in, hands on hips,
righteous indignation written all over her face.
“Well! I always knew that you were trouble, ever since I laid eyes on you, and
now I’m certain of it. Sneaking in at what, six in the morning? You should be
ashamed of yourself. After all your father does for you, you throw it in his
face!” Normally Athena would have let the shutters come down and merely switched
off, but Candi had picked a bad time to annoy her.
“Candi, shut up. Just shut up. I’m not sneaking in, I’m being considerate
because I thought you and my father were asleep and why should I be ashamed? I
go out, I have fun, and I come back alone. What exactly is it you think I owe my
father? My mother gives me everything I need and I only come here for my
father’s company. I owe him nothing and I owe you less. You are an empty-headed,
cardboard personality, trend following, simpering child! I am two years younger
than you are and I know more than your tiny brain could ever comprehend! If my
father likes shopping in the junior department, so be it. If he wants to keep
you around for whatever reason, I don’t care. But if you dare presume you can
act like my mother, I will take you out in a second. Compared to me you are a
mindless bimbo and compared to my mother you are leaves blowing in the wind. Be
grateful I have not hurt you child, because what I could do would terrify you to
your very soul. Do not push me little one, for you will not win. Now get out for
I wish to sleep. Get out!” Candi seemed stunned by Athena’s fury and stiffly
walked out of the room. Athena relaxed, surprised at her own reaction, and sank
into sleep.
Patrick was in ecstasy. His nights were filled with Athena’s warm embrace and
his days with her sweet company. He had been forced to stay in the city to help
David with the launch of his new restaurant, a joint venture with Paul
Something-or-other and somehow Patrick was to play a vital role. He couldn’t
understand just why he was needed, but if staying meant seeing Athena he wasn’t
complaining. He had been with Athena for a month now, a serious relationship in
his experience, yet he knew almost nothing about her. He had found himself
talking to her for hours, sharing his innermost feelings, an experience that
scared him because, almost without trying, she had breached his defences. She
knew everything about him and all he knew of her was her name, age and that she
liked dancing. Of course they had talked about paintings or favourite songs, but
the real Athena eluded his grasp. She was hiding something, he was certain of it
and it had something to do with the nights when she left him, to return early in
the morning. Patrick didn’t think Athena realised he was awake those nights or
that he knew she came back sweating and breathing hard. He suspected that she
might be seeing someone else, but then they had never decided that they were in
a relationship. They were together but he wasn’t sure if she felt they were a
couple or not.
Those nights when she did leave he would go to the window sometimes and stare at
the city. He sometimes saw the wolf on those nights and was irrationally pleased
that it was free. It really was huge and he wondered what it lived on, for an
animal as big as that could not survive on scraps. It was well fed, whatever its
diet, and it prowled the alleyways beneath the hotel as if it was waiting for
someone. The thought occurred to him that it was waiting for him, but Patrick
dismissed it as a flight of fancy. It was an animal, it wouldn’t even remember
him, much less wait for him.
Patrick lay pretending to be asleep as Athena slipped out the door. He couldn’t
bring himself to follow her, but after she left he was so restless that he rose
and went to the window. The wolf wasn’t in its usual position in the alley, and
Patrick’s restlessness increased. Bored and slightly irritated, Patrick left his
room and went for a walk. He wandered around the streets, dark thoughts about
Athena and her other lover running through his mind until he reached the park.
The trees towered above him, black shadows that sighed as he passed. The wind
tugged at him and howled, sliding through the trees and making the moonlit
patches flicker and dance. Patrick looked up the sky and the brilliant moon, a
silver crescent in the velvet canopy, and smiled at the beauty. He was brought
back to earth when a woman’s scream ripped through the night air. Patrick ran
towards the sound, heedless of the twigs that snapped underfoot to alert
whatever lurked in the bushes and burst into a clearing. The woman lay on her
back, glassy eyes staring at nothing, blonde hair tangled and bloody. A deep
gash marred her white throat and a trickle of blood still ran down to the pool
beneath her. A huge form was hunched over her, muzzle deep within her chest and
the wolf raised its head to stare menacingly at Patrick. Blood dripped from its
jaws and those familiar eyes were cold and hard. It raised its hackles but as it
sniffed the air, the aggression left its body. It left its grisly meal and
padded towards him. Patrick staggered back, desperate to get away from the
nightmare and tripped over a large stone. He closed his eyes and curled up,
certain that he would die just like that woman had. “It wasn’t supposed to be
this way. You were supposed to be ready.” That familiar voice, soft with a harsh
tone underneath. It couldn’t be, the fear was clouding his mind.
“You were
supposed to see the beauty before the savagery. You were supposed to
understand.” He opened one eye and shut it again, denying what he saw.
“How
could you think I was human?” Athena walked forward and sat next to him, shaking
away the last traces of fur.
“I won’t hurt you. Did I hurt you in the alleyway?”
Those eyes, the icy blue-grey eyes with the amber ring. Those eyes watching him
as he cowered in the alley, those eyes burning into him as they lay together,
the same eyes that now begged him to listen. Patrick stood up, carefully not
looking at her.
“What are you?” he croaked. She rose with him, reaching for his hand but then
letting hers drop.
“I am loup-garou. A werewolf.”
“But it’s not a full moon.” She sighed, irritation creeping into her voice.
“I was hoping I could avoid this now. A werewolf is a creature that is not
human. You are born a werewolf and you cannot be made a werewolf. I have two
forms, a human body and a wolf body. I decide which I wear. I can turn at nay
time and I am one or the other. Loup-garou means wolf-man and that is what we
are: a human or a wolf. We cannot be half-and-half like the Hollywood
werewolves, and we can be killed the same way you can. A silver bullet will kill
me and so will a regular one if it hits me in the right place. We have no
special powers or healing abilities, we are just like you except that we can
mould our bodies into a wolf shape. It is always my mind and personality, but I
cannot speak in wolf form, as wolves do not the vocal chords needed for speech.
When I left you was when the city became too much for me, as in wolf form we can
tolerate more than in our human form. Even in my human form I have heightened
senses, I can smell much better than you can and my hearing is better. I think
wolfishly even in human shape, as that is who I am. I am one person no matter
what my shape and that person has both human and animal traits.” Patrick's head
swam with all this information as he tried to understand what she was saying.
“So…are your parents werewolves? Will you live longer? Why do you kill humans?
Do you…I’m sorry but there’s so many questions.”
“I understand. My mother is loup-garou and my father divorced her when he found
out. He wouldn’t listen to her explanations and he still thinks she is the
Hollywood type of werewolf. He doesn’t know about me and I was staying with him
and his girlfriend. He goes through them at an incredible rate and this one was
only two years older then I am. She tried to discredit me and turn my father
against me, she yelled and hit me so I hit back.” Athena gestured at the corpse
behind her. “I don’t usually kill humans but if provoked I will fight back. I
have never killed an innocent and I usually hunt rabbits or deer back home.
There’s not much prey in the city. I could live to be two hundred but most of my
kind find a mate and then die with them. We loup-garous cannot mate successfully
together so we chose a human partner. The offspring of two werewolves will be
stillborn, as our genes are too similar. As a population we are very small and
so inbreeding would decimate us. It is a natural way to increase our kind.” This
talk of genes had confused him a little, but he understood that loup-garous only
mated with humans and that was the important part.
“So, are all the children of a werewolf and a human guaranteed to be
werewolves?”
“No, it’s 50/50 whether they will be or not. You do know that when I say mate, I
mean mate for life. Wolves’ chose one partner and stay with them until they die
and while loup-garous may have many lovers, we only ever have one Mate. My
mother will never again be Mated, no matter how many humans she takes to her
bed.”
“When you say mate, you mean marriage.” It was a statement, not a question.
“What is marriage to you?”
“Marriage is when two people swear to love each other for ever and never love
anyone else.”
“Yes, except that we can physically love as many people as we want, but only
love, as in mentally and spiritually love, one person. We will die with that
person.”
“Do you have friends of your kind? Do you have a ruler, a community?”
“No, we stay away from each other. We are all pack animals but we make our packs
from family. If I meet another of my kind I will talk with them, and I have
werewolf friends that I have made when passing through their territory, but we
do not have a real community. My pack is my mother and grandfather, as they are
the only loup-garous living in my bloodline. I include my grandmother, aunts,
and uncles in my pack, but not my father. He divorced a loup-garou, meaning that
she will never again know love and so he is outcast. I still see him, as I am
part human and harbour affection for my father, but he will never be a real part
of my life. And what about you? You know me now, really know me. I will
understand if you leave, after all, I’m not human, and you only want a fling.
There are plenty of better-looking human girls out there who don’t have hidden
secrets like mine. Will you be part of my life?” Patrick stared at her, his
beautiful lover who was also a terrifying beast. Did he want to continue? They
had been together a month or so, a good relationship for him. Normally they
would break up soon anyway, so did he want to be with her? He stared into those
beautiful, hungry eyes and decided.
Patrick was standing on the dew-tipped grass, staring at the moon. His
silhouette was clear to the woman who stood behind the curtain. She watched him,
angry that he had defied her again. She had asked, pleaded, and finally
commanded him to stop wandering out at night, but still when she rose in the
small hours of the morning, there he was. He simply stood, head back, focused on
the moon and stars. She couldn’t understand what the attraction was. When he was
supposed to check on the children at night, she would go see how he was doing
and find that he had left them in their crib while he gazed at the sky. Not that
these hardy children needed much care, she had never known children so young be
so self-sufficient, but when she left who knew what would happen to them? He
insisted on calling them cubs and would take them out with him, into the
freezing night air where they would surely catch their death.
Patrick’s mother left the window and went back to sleep. Patrick stood admiring
the moonlight and drinking in its intoxicating power. One of the benefits of the
Mating was this sense of the strength of the night. He tore himself away as
Athena slipped out the shadows. She padded over to him and he stroked her
silvery head. Without a backward glance to his human house, he ran with his wolf
mate into the shadows. Back in the house, the tiny cubs whimpered in their sleep
as their parent’s joyous howl spread through the night air.
© Ruth Murphy - 2000
For more by Ruth Murphy click HERE
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