Hello again. Here is a complete list I've collected of weird and funny quotes, and sayings. Please note that those are not necessarily true. Some of them are, but some are just made up. If you would like to send me any quotes or sayings or words, or phrases, please e-mail me here. I don't have a lot of quotes or sayings, so I'm trying to collect them. Ok, now enjoy your reading. :P
I don't know a lot of weird quotes, but I do know a lot of quotes! If it helps, I'll list some of them here.
1)The past is a good place to visit from time to time, but never a place to stay in.
2)If you're always happy and complete, then you definitely have a miserable life.
3)Everything is possible, but some things just aren't possible because you think they aren't.
4)There is always a way out of a problem.
5)Because of you, you are you today.
6)Be happy with what you have. Lots of people have worse life than you.
7)Don't cross someone's limit. To be sociable, you always have to know when to quit the joke.
8)If there are no bad things in the world, then there are no good things either. Bad things are a cycle of life.
9)Don't give in to life's little insults.
10)When life give you lemon, make lemonade. Yummy.
11)Be yourself. Don't let the world judge you.
12)Don't compare people. It simply doesn't work. No one is better than anyone else. Equality is the word.
13)Savor little moments. Try to remember them. But don't try to make them happen again. Surprises are not fun when you know what's going to happen.
14)Always think before you act. You can save yourself from regretting something you've done for the rest of your life.
15)Bitter medicine may have wholesome effect.
16)If you know what's goof for you, don't mess with me.
1.It's never easy to say sorry, so why don't we stop saying it?
2.If an apple a day keeps a doctor away, will two apple keep two doctors away?
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
4. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
5. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
5. What's another word for synonym?
6. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do: 'practice'?
7. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
8. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
9. Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
10. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
11. Why do they report power outages on TV?
12. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
13. Is it possible to be totally partial?
14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
15. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?
16. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
17. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
18. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
19. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
20. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
21. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
22. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
23. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
24. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
25. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
26. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
27. Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
28. Why you never see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
29. Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?
30. Why it is that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on “Start”?
31. Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
32. Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called rush hour?
33. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
34. Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
35. Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
36. If a cat has a peg leg, would they scratch it? - thank you for submitting this one!
37. Why they're called apartments when they're all stuck together?
38. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
39. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
40. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
41. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
