| If Jesus left you a message on your answering machine... |
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| From: AggroSk8er | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:39:12 AM | Message Detail |
What would he say? For me it'd probably be:
"Hey Chase, this is Jesus from AT&T asking you if you would like to switch phone services. Remember that if you don't, I send your sorry ass to Hell. Call me back if you're interested!"
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So? They're cute, Russian, and lesbians. Marketing enough for me...--isv666 on T.A.T.U.
Ripping off SAM's siggy. Aggro: OMFGLOLITZJESUS!!! |
| From: MustgetStoned2 | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:40:03 AM | Message Detail |
"You're going to hell."
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Come on down to Melvin's Happy Fun Time Abortion Clinic! We'll bring out the kid in you! - Mr. Show |
| From: gnomes | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:41:13 AM | Message Detail |
"Ha! You stupid ****ing Atheist! Wheres your science now?!"
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Due to a budget cut, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.-God |
| From: svmuhrooms | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:41:24 AM | Message Detail |
I'd delete it.
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My User Name is a Typo.
Wc3| stars@lordaeron, stars@azeroth |
| From: SheepCounter | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:41:27 AM | Message Detail |
"See you in hell! From heaven."
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"Super Mario 64 is definitely the game you all bought a GameCube for"- CVXFREAK
If Mario wins the Summer '02 Contest, I will close my account and leave forever |
| From: TheBlueJinjo | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:48:35 AM | Message Detail |
"Hello, this is in reply to your question that you asked... repeatedly... and the answer is still no, I'm not a ninja. I can walk on water because I'm the son of God, not because I'm a ninja. Now stop asking that or I'll bust some holy wrath on your ass."
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Does everyone get this lonely when they're in love? Do they embrace a pain even deeper than the darkness? ~ No Need To Promise |
| From: svmuhrooms | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:50:32 AM | Message Detail |
If a ninja left a message, that would be a whole other story
I would totally commit seppuku if it ever happened.
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My User Name is a Typo.
Wc3| stars@lordaeron, stars@azeroth |
| From: casualgamer | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:52:15 AM | Message Detail |
"Is your refrigerator running? *chuckle* Crap, this doesn't work on an answering machine, does it?"
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If I'm using this account, casual's post limit must have been reached. |
| From: Person | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:53:51 AM | Message Detail |
"Hello, this is Jesus calling. You know, from the bible? Wait a minute...according to our records, you didn't read the bible, but rather, you coloured the pictures inside with markers when you were 4. I'm sorry, but that's just going to send you straight to Hell. Well, goodbye!"
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"If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now." - Jack Handy
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| From: gavreilly | Posted: 8/1/2002 5:08:13 AM | Message Detail |
"um... that Beavis guy told me you were eating my book!"
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'good morning, sweet lemons. how juicy you look today!'
- from the side of a Japanese orange soda can |
| From: Enygmatic | Posted: 8/1/2002 5:10:44 AM | Message Detail |
"Hey, Jon? Big J here. I really do exist, so repent. Oh... and you put entirely too much faith in all the wrong things. See you on the flipside. Hopefully."
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AWESOMENESS! Another topic! - Balken, on one of the myriad misplaced CE Summer 2002 contest topics
http://www.hunglikeajury.com |
| From: EAP | Posted: 8/1/2002 7:44:53 AM | Message Detail |
Hey Jim! This is the big J! Just calling yo let you know that in 68 years you'll be the 100,000,000,000th person to enter heaven. Kinda takes the fun outta life dont it?
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"Serving size one slice? Who the **** eats one slice?" - My Dad reading the nutritional info for Rye Bread.
EAP - the Evil Antler Person |
| From: Darth MawI | Posted: 8/1/2002 7:52:50 AM | Message Detail |
*marks for offensive*
People on this board need to stop insulting others religeons......or at least start doing it equally to all religions.
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Mystic Ghost©.
I am not, and do not claim to be, Darth Maul! |
| From: Secret Agent Man | Posted: 8/1/2002 7:54:01 AM | Message Detail |
Wow Mawl, didn't think anyone would actually say that... I agree, but...
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I am not, and do not claim to be, Secret Asian Man!
<32:28979><Official Sequeler Of Topics Of The CoS™><Dangerous:9> |
| From: EAP | Posted: 8/1/2002 7:55:03 AM | Message Detail |
Hey, Im catholic, this isnt really that offensive at all.
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"Serving size one slice? Who the **** eats one slice?" - My Dad reading the nutritional info for Rye Bread.
EAP - the Evil Antler Person |
| From: Savok | Posted: 8/1/2002 7:57:32 AM | Message Detail |
Nothing here is offensive Mawl, it's all done in (obvious) jest, even if it wasn't jest it'd be only borderline.
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Live long and prosper |
| From: Ugly Girl | Posted: 8/1/2002 7:58:43 AM | Message Detail |
"Hi Ugly Girl! I love you so much! Will you be my girlfriend? I'm Jesus! You are so sexy!"
</blatant poking fun of AG>
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Look at me! I'm an ugly girl! |
| From: Darth MawI | Posted: 8/1/2002 8:00:55 AM | Message Detail |
I understand that whole idea of jesting, but a few of these comments insult the persona of Jesus whom some of us literally WORSHIP with our entire lives......not to sound mean, but that seems a little insulting to me.
Hey, Im catholic, this isnt really that offensive at all.
Yeah, but you probably don't respect Jesus Christ on the level that a Reformed Evangelical does.
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Mystic Ghost©.
I am not, and do not claim to be, Darth Maul! |
| From: iki | Posted: 8/1/2002 8:02:23 AM | Message Detail |
This is why I don't have an answering machine.
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Just give me the chocolate and no one will get hurt... |
| From: Anna | Posted: 8/1/2002 8:03:25 AM | Message Detail |
"Last week was so good. How come you never returned my calls, babe?"
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Pong: the movie would be funny. Keanu reeves could play the paddle - Horrible person |
| From: Savok | Posted: 8/1/2002 8:05:05 AM | Message Detail |
Fundamentalism does not suit you.
Besides, I don't think Jesus minds a harmless joke, in fact, I'm willing to bet He's enjoying these.
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Live long and prosper |
| From: Masked Penguin | Posted: 8/1/2002 8:18:07 AM | Message Detail |
"LOLHeathenDied."
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He's a Monday morning lunatic, disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself In his solitary shell... |
| From: ssjtrunks1986 | Posted: 8/1/2002 8:43:03 AM | Message Detail |
why did you kill that bird with a 2 x 4 when you were in 3rd grade
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ANGELS BANISHED FROM HEAVEN HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BECOME DEMONS.
Zeeky Boogy Doog........BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! |
| From: CVagts | Posted: 8/1/2002 9:30:03 AM | Message Detail |
"You know that day where you watched that Sally episode about the kids who had those conditions? You're going to hell for that."
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Reverend CVagts
"Ichiro is the best Japanese import to come along since the VCR." |
| From: Lollybomb | Posted: 8/1/2002 10:17:36 AM | Message Detail |
He couldn't leave a message on my answering machine. I don't have one, and even if he tried my voice mail he couldn't. Isn't he supposed to be dead and nailed to a cross somewhere? Eh, I don't believe in it anyway.
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There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't. |
| From: stealth24 | Posted: 8/1/2002 10:22:59 AM | Message Detail |
Lollybomb: That message reeks of ignorance...or is it atheism? Same difference.
He was resurrected. That's why Christians have Easter.
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Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing. |
| From: Captain Obvious | Posted: 8/1/2002 10:26:25 AM | Message Detail |
"Captain Obvious, you're so great, that you're my idle. I'm going to let you into heaven when you die, just so I can bask in the warmth of your eternal greatness. Etc, etc."
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Everyone is always thanking me, and I don't know why! |
| From: DJoseph | Posted: 8/1/2002 10:26:44 AM | Message Detail |
From: gnomes | Posted: 8/1/2002 4:41:13 AM | Message Detail
"Ha! You stupid ****ing Atheist! Wheres your science now?!"
Yep.
That.
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DJosef is kool to da max, just like turtle WizAX!!!! - Punkguy856
Jaksiel: RAPE DJOSEF |
| From: Total Dizzator | Posted: 8/1/2002 10:39:41 AM | Message Detail |
"TURN OFF THAT PORN AND QUIT PRAYING FOR SEX WITH A SUPERMODEL..... This was in reply to your prayer for supermodel sex.... Thanks, Pimp Daddy J is out... Ciao"
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Beauty is in the eye of the BEER HOLDER!!! |
| From: Firaga | Posted: 8/1/2002 10:56:36 AM | Message Detail |
Explain: Easter Bunny. RISEN FROM THE DEAD AFTER BEING CRUCIFIED BY THE PAGANS. What do they have in common? Easter.
Discuss.
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}]>~-Firaga-~<[{
Heat3, Burn3, Flare, Fire³ |
| From: vascoguy13 | Posted: 8/1/2002 11:40:34 AM | Message Detail |
Hello this is Jesus and, wait a second quit watching that damned porn and start reading the bible"
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Current Astros Record 54-52. Last game Mets 10 Astros 0
What the hell is Vasco some kind of laundry detergent~metalsandman on my last name |
| From: Vapor Snake | Posted: 8/1/2002 12:48:26 PM | Message Detail |
"I know you are there. Quit playing Wolfenstein. Right now. Damnit. Answer the phone. Well, screw this. If you need me, I'll be over there DYING FOR YOUR SINS."
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"He's here to rescue me, father!"
"Well, let's not jump to conclusions." |
| From: Ashton Anchors | Posted: 8/1/2002 1:12:50 PM | Message Detail |
In a concurrence with DM, I'm going to pull out one of my favorite GameFAQs user quotes that was said many moons ago.
Anyone can see how offensive that topic is, but i am assuming the mod who saw it laughed at it and thought ''basin' jezus is kwel''
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Aku Soku Zan |
| From: Ashton Anchors | Posted: 8/1/2002 1:13:30 PM | Message Detail |
Er, forgot to give credit to HC82 for the quote.
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Aku Soku Zan |
