Written by Czar Fruitcake
SUMMARY: Two for the price of one. Madelyn and Louise get theirs, for oh so many reasons.
Paris rubbed the side of her head. She glared at Lorelai, who just grinned back, albeit a little sheepishly.
Suddenly, both of them heard a sound that was strangely reminiscent of both finger nails on a chalk board, and a hoard of angry monkeys making laughing hyena sounds. Paris rolled her eyes.
“Tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber,” she scoffed in a very scoff-y manner.
“That the best you can do?” Lorelai asked her, ready to THWACK Paris again for the uncreativeness that was her characterization of her two good “friends.”
Paris thought for a moment. “Even though it is completely antithetical to everything I believe in, would a pop culture reference satisfy you and keep you from THWACKing me again?”
Lorelai raised an eyebrow as Paris said the word “THWACK.”
“Hey- they use that word several times in Don Quixote. Don’t think that I don’t know when I’ve been THWACKed. I’ve written papers on the role of…” Paris trailed off as Lorelai raised her hand again.
“Pop culture reference,” she reminded the girl.
The doorbell rang.
Paris shrugged. “I’ve got nothing,” she muttered.
Lorelai went to answer the door, the desire to THWACK overpowering. Standing there, giggling like undeveloped characters meant to be no more than archetypal popular girls with no true substance to them whatsoever, were Madeline and Louise.
Lorelai looked back and forth. Now, which one was Madeline and which one was Louise? Honestly, she wasn’t really sure.
“Hello, Madeline-and-Louise,” Lorelai said, addressing them as one person. Madeline-and-Louise babbled. Then the darker haired head of the Madeline-and-Louise complex put some gum in her mouth and began chewing it in a manner that could only be described as stupid. Meanwhile, the blonde head had begun giving the mailbox some kind of absurd lap dance, emphasizing her budding sexuality.
THWACK! THWACK! Lorelai quickly delivered resounding smacks to the side of each head.
“Can’t-tell-you-apart-superficial-fair-weather-why-the-heck-would-you-be-involved-in-student-council-and-newspaper-how-did-you-even-meet-Paris-intelligence-deficient-Dawson’s-Creek-vocabularied automatons!” Lorelai said, relishing the hyphenated adjective that went hand in hand with the THWACK.
“What?” both heads of Madeline-and-Louise asked.
THWACK! Lorelai shut the door, as the two girls began discussing swapping boyfriends, until they realized that the male population of Chilton was composed of only three males at any given time.
TBC… oh, who shall get the THWACK next…muahahahahahha