Written by Czar Fruitcake
SUMMARY: for the person who requested a Kennedy THWACK…again, it’s a retro-THWACK, so be prepared for some stuff that doesn’t quite make sense…muahahahahhaha!
Anya suddenly found herself standing alone in a room with Kennedy. Her hand throbbed incessantly with the desire to THWACK.
“Listen up, maggot!” Kennedy yelled. Anya looked around to see who she was yelling at, and she found a kitten with an injured paw sitting on the floor, its big eyes rounded. Kennedy put her face right up next to the kitten’s.
“Meow…” said the kitty.
“Did I tell you that you could Meow, maggot?!” Kennedy screeched. The kitty cried little kitty tears, but Kennedy had no mercy.
“Kennedy,” Anya said brightly, “you do realize that you are yelling at a kitten? I know you are Willow’s orgasm buddy, but…”
Anya cut her off. “What Willow and I have is special,” Kennedy said, and as she spoke, a tattoo appeared on her forehead, and a neon sign flashed over head.
COMPLETELY LEGAL, read the sign.
NOT TARA, said the tattoo.
Anya sighed.
Kennedy began to harass the poor little kitty again. “Willow is powerful, maggot! I have no actual power, but bow down to my loud voice and sharp features. Unlike you, I have a name, and my lack of accent and current smoochy-exchanging-with-Willow state makes me impervious to harm. Muahahahahaha!”
THWACK! Anya smacked Kennedy upside the head. THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
“Cruel-over-the-top-obvious-relentless-pursuit-of-Willow-why-did-you-come-with-Giles-if-you’re-not-British-kitty-bashing-lack-of-character-development-not-Tara floozy,” Anya muttered.
TBC… that was actually kind of fun. Maybe I’ll do it again. Who do you want to see THWACKed? REVIEW!!!