Written by Czar Fruitcake
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is an effort of the Fruitcake Alliance. Don’t expect a serious fic! Whoever finds these thwacks distasteful… our apologies but please do not ban us (again) the alliance has suffered nine bans this week, and we do not take this lightly. Rest assured you are engaging in a war that cannot be won. And please remember that we are bringing smiles to many faces with this fic and lightening the burden of anguish on this world. What good are you doing by banning it? Nothing.
FRUITCAKE NOTE: keep up the reviewing, and I’ll keep up the updating. Remember, if you’d like to join the Fruitcake Alliance, send an email to fruitcakehq@yahoo.com. Current members of the FA include: Fruitcake, Fruitcakey, Fruitcakish, Fruitcakelike, Fruitcakesque, Fruitcakeage, Sophocles Avagodro, and Aristotle Freud. We at the FA, express our deepest sympathy and outrage at the recent banning of Aristotle Freud, Fruitcakish (banned twice in one day, OUCH!), Fruitcakeage (twice for the same story), and Fruitcakesque (thrice for the same story!)… Rest assured, they will be back, it’s only a matter of time. FA forever. –Fruitcake (the original)
SUMMARY: When Anya goes over the edge, she starts smacking random people from the Buffyverse.
Anya was on edge as it was, and when she discovered money missing from the cash register at the Magic Box, she went over the edge. “Why would anyone insult my capitalistic integrity this way? Maiming and killing is one thing, but stealing somebody’s money that’s, that’s just wrong.”
Just then, Xander opened the door. He and Anya were starting to get back together, but they both still had issues of the betrayal-y persuasion. He was wearing a construction hat.
Anya walked up to him and calmly removed his hat. She stroked his face for a moment with her hand and then…
THWACK! Anya smacked him upside the head, completely taking him by surprise. He looked at her, surprised and disgruntled.
“What are you doing?” he asked her, thoroughly confused and more than a little irritating. “Is it me or are you making more with the crazy today than usual?” Xander asked. Anya just smiled brightly at him.
“I’m smacking you because it makes a nice noise,” Anya said happily. “Thwack!” THWACK. She demonstrated, smacking him again. Xander was getting the distinct feeling that Anya wasn’t in a good state of mind.
“You can’t smack someone just because you like the noise it makes,” Xander insisted. “That’s a no-no, An.”
Anya seriously thought about it for a moment. THWACK! “Okay,” she said. “That’s because you’ve gotten really fat and now your head is shaped in a distinctly lop-sided melon type shape. And because you aren’t funny anymore, what with your serious I’m-an-adult-now-look-everyone-I’m-mature persona.”
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! “Don’t even get me started about the whole leaving-me-at-the-alter thing.”
TBC… All right guys, now it’s your turn to tell me who you want to see smacked next and WHY. All character past and present, dead and alive are fair game, as is Anya herself. So… who does Anya THWACK next?