It all started with my family on an airplane. We were flying to some resort or something. We got there, but as far as I could tell it was just the Ramada Inn by Long Lake. We went in to eat at the restourant, but for some reason we hated the chef, so we wanted to make the food bad so he would get in trouble. So we snuck into the kitchen to sabatoge the food. Daddy We started salting things and Daddy kept taking enourmous fistfulls of garlic and throwing them on everything. And I kept saying, "Hey, we have to eat that! Dont poison us!" and brushing some of them off. Then we snuck back out and sat down to talk to some other family. Nothing apparently happened with the food.

I was talking to the girl of the family, who kept falling in love with various people. When we went back to their house or hotel room, I don't know which, she showed me all the love notes she had written to the various people. They were all written in this terrible scrawl in bright green ink. I noticed some of them were for her brother. I thought that was weird, not because he is her brother, but because he was ugly and stupid. He was actually Bobby from King of the Hill. (Warning: this dream contains a lot of cartoon characters.) My family went home but my point of view switched and suddenly I was the weird girl.

I decided to go out for a walk, but when I left the house/hotel room I became Sailor Moon, or rather the civilian version of her, Usagi. The wind blew my coat off (a heavy woolen thing, strong wind) and I went running down the road to find it. I lost sight of it and ducked off into a bush thinking, rather stupidly, that maybe my coat was in here. It was this beautiful sunny, perfectly manicured lawn land. Children played ball on the lawn and people were mowing their already perfect grass. I walked up and down the street asking every one if they had seen my bicycle, despite the fact that it was my coat I had lost. I crossed one street, and suddenly the gorgeous sububian paradise turned into rundown shack town from hell. There was an angry pitbull that tried to kill me, and a pack of kids with pipes and bats that threatened me. I ran back into the nice part, but now everyone there was suspicious and mean, too. I finally saw three cops standing outside some house. I ran towards them saying "Thank goodness! Officers, you'll help me find my bicylce won't you?" But some part of me wich was only a spectator in this and not Usagi was going "No you stupid girl, they're mean too!" Because, for godsake's, they were glaring at her and grabbing their nightsticks. The large black one grabbed me by the shoulders and they all started doing that "You're coming with me," cops from the movies bit, and I started crying, "I was only trying to find my bicycle!" One of the cops takes pity on me and is starting to feel bad, this shorter blonde guy. He starts to think about how pretty Usagi is and he gives her a hug to make her stop crying, and is about to kiss her (don't ask me, I don't think that would have fixed things) when the "screen" blacks out.

Suddenly Usagi is standing in the middle of a big city like New York wearing her missing coat, and talking to ChibiUsa and ChibiChibi (also from Sailor Moon) on this weird pager/cellphone gizmo in text and pictures. ChibiUsa is talking about how she's in love with this boy, and Usagi teases her by telling her that her life is full of much more romance and that she has a real boyfriend and this makes the other two little girls very jealous. Then the screen blacks again.

It turns out that was just a movie my friend Blain and I were watching on a big screen in some convention. I am STILL not me, and am Sailor Mercury, only in civilian form, Ami. Its not a Sailor Moon convention at all, so I don't know why we were watching it. Its actually a convention to show off the new Pokemon game they've released. This new one is all baby forms of the old Pokemon apparently. Don't ask me, they didn't look anything like any Pokemon I know. Anyway, they had invited all the Pokefanatics with strong Pokemon to come and fight the new kind. Let me just clarify, here. Its a game, but the pokemon are real-ish. At least they're 3D and solid. So all these pokemon put on this dancing choreographed introduction thing, like the beggining of Miss America. They're all on this big metal platform that looks like a mountain with a screen in the middle to show close-ups of the Pokemon. Anyway, this one girl steps up and starts to fight this one Pokemon that looks like a metal eggplant with hair and a face, with one that was sortof like a cat/kangaroo, also purple and robotic like the other. The girl is getting her ass handed to her on a platter.

Meanwhile, Blain and I get bored, and wander off to some other area of the big metal futuristic building this is in, talking about how stupid we thought the ending of the Sailor Moon movie was. We specifically thought she should kiss the police officer (don't ask me why, he was rather chubby and had an ugly little ponytail. Maybe we're just suckers for romance?), and it should show how she got her coat back. So we decide Hey! Lets steal the movie and tamper with it so we can add our own sceans! They're just laying around in baskets on tables so we pick up two and put them in our coats. Odd thing to note: the title proclaims it to be Sleeping Beauty, but with Usagi and the Cops on the cover. We can't leave through conventional doors because of the DVD's (thats what they were, flat DVD's not tapes) so we leave through empty gaps on these Ikea-esque shelves into a different part of the building. We walk down a buisness kindof hallway and open some doors and walk into this giant white marble room.

Blain has disappeared and I'm not Ami anymore. This is where the dream falls apart and starts making NO sence. The white marble room is full of cartoon characters lounging around. I think I'm that chick fox from Disney's Robin Hood, but I look funny. I have long red hair, for one thing. I find Robin Hood or whoever, and we just sit around talking for awhile to other Disney couples. But then all the disney villans start making trouble, led by Cruella DeVil. They chase everyone out of the room into the forest. Now its really getting patchy.

As far as I can tell we set up camp with some other refugees in a swamp. I know that not all of them are cartoons because Simon from American Idol is there. We have to solve some problem surrounding that Sailor Moon Movie before we can go back and beat the Disney villans. But solving it involves aquiring information from other various TV icons that have been turned into snakes and alligators in the swamp we were in, and an elaborate script for a dinner that involved stealing Princess Diana's Limo, the Crown Jewewls, a magical tablecloth and a parade.

I'm me again sort of, at least I'm human, but blonde again and younger with no glasses. I know I'm me, but I don't look a lot like me. I have to wear the crown jewels and table cloth as a cape in the parade, and we're just about to solve the important mystery of the Sailor Moon Movie that I don't quite understand when I woke up.


May 20
I had dreams last night, and I tried very hard to remember them, but I cant! I fell asleep again after waking up, and all I can remember is it had something to do with being a greek god.


May 19
To start off this here dream diary, I have decided to record the last two dreams I had. Neither is from last night, I cant remember what I dreamt of then. Oh well. We'll start with the most recent.

I was on a boat, throwing a party. I wasn't myself though, I was a sea captain. I think I may actually have been some sort of human-ized version of the Sea Captain from the Simpsons. Anyway, it was sort of like the victorian era, as on my party-boat there were lots of ladies in fancy dresses and big hats and bustles. I was regailing everyone with a tale of how my son saved my life by warning me before there was a giant explosion in the harbor. Said son comes in just then, and its Bart Simpson. Not kind of Bart, like the captain, but fully rendered in 2-D animation standing around with the real people. Suddenly I'm no longer the Sea Captain, I'm him. And I have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that something horrible is going to happen. I realise there's going to be another explosion, and I tell every one to get down. Just in time, too because as soon as I shout it, a big cartoony fireball erupts at the front of the boat. Everyone starts to flee onto the dock, and now I'm that annoying kid from the Simpsons, Martin. And I run into a bar on the dock, only its not a bar inside, its our boat. And I know its going to be the same explosion in a couple seconds. The whole process repeats a couple more times, until the Care Bears show up and save us. Then we (the Care Bears and I) grab onto these giant heart shaped balloons and float away.

A few days ago I dreamt that aliens had set up a little booth in Woodgrove Mall. Only nobody knew they were aliens. Everyone thought they were guys in masks. The aliens looked like giant pink ants with men's bodies, wearing these shapeless black robes. I tried to talk to one of them but he just buzzed at me. I gave up and found my friend Jeremy Rozman, and we went across the street to the Subway. Thats when we saw the space ships congregating above the mall. So we ran back in to stop the aliens, but they were already all beamed back up, and only two real guys in alien suits were left dismantling the booth. Jeremy and I questioned them about the aliens, but they were very hostile and tried to beat us up. So we busted out the kung-fu moves and kicked their asses! I don't know why the aliens were there, I think it might have had something to do with some raffle contest at the mall. Maybe they wanted an earth shopping spree?


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