Things to do...
AT 
- Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
don't realize it.
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout
the day.
- Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restroom.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we
have a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
- Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn
the volumes to "10"
- Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Put M&Ms on layaway.
- Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
- Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite
them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
- When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't
you people just leave me alone?"
- Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.
- Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
- Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
- While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
- Switch the mens and womens signs on the doors of the restrooms.
- Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible"
- Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
- In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various
funnels.
- Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things
like "Pick me, pick me!"
- When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
positionand scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
- If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
- Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of
toilet paper in here!"
Back to the funny stuff
Back to the main page
