You're from Illinois if...
- You've never met a celebrity.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
- "Vacation" means going to Six Flags
- You think of Chicago as not part of Illinois.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You know several people who have hit a deer.
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
- You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
- Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
- You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it,
no matter what time of the year.
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example:
"Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain or an animal.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables in your car.
- You don't pronounce the "s" in Illinois like the rest of the world.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one
page but requires 6 pages for sports.
- You think that deer season is a national holiday.
- You know which leaves make a good toilet paper.
- You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
- You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and
Construction.
- You know if another Illinoisian is from southern, central, or northern
Illinois and especially Chicago, as soon as they open their mouth.
- There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 of more.
- You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Illinois.
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