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The Real Reason Why Darth Vader Has to Wear That Life Support Suit A longer time ago in a galaxy far, far away... A Light Side Jedi Master and his apprentices are walking through a meadow towards their academy. Before them lie dark, foreboding woods, and in their path stands Anakin Skywalker, who has just recently become a Dark Lord of the Sith. Even without his black suit, he looks formidable, but the Jedi walks up to him...

Vader-"None shall pass."

Jedi-"What?"

Vader- "None shall pass."

Jedi- "I have no quarrel with you, disgrace to the Jedi though you are, but my students and I must pass through this forest."

Vader- "Then you shall die!"

(Both men draw their lightsabers and start a furious attack on one another. Then, Vader charges at the Jedi Master, who neatly slices off Vader’s left arm.)

Jedi- "Now stand aside worthy opponent."

Vader- "It’s just a scratch."

Jedi- "A scratch? Your arm’s off!"

Vader- "No it isn’t!"

Jedi- "Well what’s that, then?" (points at the arm on the ground)

Vader- "I’ve had worse."

Jedi- "You lie!"

Vader- "Come on you pansy!"

(They continue to fight, and through a trick of the Force, the Jedi hacks off Vader’s other arm.)

Jedi- "Victory is mine! (kneels down) Thank the Force that I was able to defeat..."

Vader- (kicks the Jedi and knocks him down) "Come on!" (continues kicking)

Jedi- (gets up) "You are indeed brave but the fight is mine!"

Vader- "Oh, had enough, eh?"

Jedi- "Look, you stupid piece of bantha fodder, you’ve got no arms left!"

Vader- "It’s just a flesh wound." (starts to kick again)

Jedi- "Stop that!"

Vader- "Chicken, chicken!"

Jedi- "Look, I’ll have your leg!"

Vader- (makes a raspberry sound)

Jedi- "Right!" (hacks off Vader’s right leg)

Vader- "I’ll get you for that!" (hops towards the Jedi and knocks against him repeatedly)

Jedi- "You’ll what?"

Vader- "Come on!"

Jedi- "What are you going to do, bleed on me?"

Vader- "I’m invincible! The dark knight always triumphs! I’m going to get you!"

(the Jedi makes a disgusted face and slices Vader right in half)

Vader- (top half sitting on the ground) "All right, we’ll call it a draw."

Jedi- (gesturing to apprentices, who have been cowering behind a tree) "Come, my students!"

Vader- "Oh, I see, running away, eh? You yellow nerf herders! Come back here and get what’s coming to you...I’ll bite your legs off!"

Not long after this encounter ended, some Imperial scout troops found Vader and took him back to the Executor, where the medics patched him up just fine, a respirator here, a prosthetic arm there. And that’s why Darth Vader wears that shiny black suit.

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