The How polluted by LMO are you? Purity Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.
Are you smart?
So smart you're stupid?
Have you ever brought something rotting to school, pretending it was your lunch?
Have you ever had a school janitor threaten you?
Do you have any self-inflicted scars?
Have you ever carved slogans into yourself?
Were any of these slogans from underground puck songs?
...containing the word "fuck'?
Have you ever had people look over your shoulder while you draw?
...and then ask you if you worship the devil?
Can you tell someone what sound an aluminum softball bat makes when it hits you in the head?
Do you like Alice Cooper?
...but mostly his Easy Action album?
Have you ever had to restrain the urge to lash out violently at a display of merchandise, because the rampant capitalist system denied you the ability to have the things you wanted?
Have you ever had to restrain that urge just because?
Sometimes, when you see a particular expanse of skin, like between the shoulderblades, or a cheek, do you feel the urge to bite it?
Have you worn eyeliner and black nail polish in a hick one-horse town?
...did you actually live there and know any of the people?
...were they scared of you?
Have you ever been in a band that wanted to be the next Metallica?
...but you sounded like surf punk?
...and never made it out of the garage?
...and lost half the band and equipment due to poverty?
...and the only tape you have of the band is of you and the drummer, well after everyone else had quit, recorded through a bookshelf stereo and a dinky four-channel mixer?
Are you telling the truth about all this?
Do you adopt other people's madness?
When around someone who has an accent, do you find them staring at you flatly, for copying it?
Do you feel bad when that happens?
Do you sometimes feel nothing at all?
Do you have a list in your head of unconfirmed hooker sightings, just as nagging points of curiosity?
Was one of your favorite accessories a chain for your neck?
...an actual length of chain?
Do you still have your combat boots?
...but you were never in the service?
...and can't be?
In video games, if someone screams just so when you kill them a certain way, will you go out of your way to kill them that way over and over again even at the risk of losing the entire game?
Do you like Stephen King?
Do you read his books?
Have you read all of them that have been published majorly?
Have you read everything of his that you could get your hands on?
Have you devoted months of your life trying to be him?
Do you own more than 20 horror movies?
are over half of them devoted in some way to shambling corpses or vampires?
Do any of them star Alice Cooper?
Can you name the movie Ozzy Osbourne cameo'd as a priest in?
Do you know the name of the band that did the songs for that movie?
Are you checking the bottom to see if maybe I put the movie's name below?
Have you ever agonized over just which book you would like for Stephen King to sign?
Have you ever had to restrain the urge to rip Tony Iommi's guitar off of the wall of the Hard Rock cafe?
Were you confident that it would still play?
Even in a humid as shit environment?
Do you feel sometimes that you are anathema to the whole of modern human existence?
...even after your third cup of coffee?
Do you get pissed off when you lose?
When you think about your life, do you get pissed off?
Do more than three rooms in your house need serious cleaning?
Have you ever watched a kid shit in your yard?
While you debated over whether or not to yell at him for it?
...and then you decided not to while he still had a turd in his mouth?
Have you ever asked a MOS whether or not they liked GWAR, as a way of displaying your interest?
When you saw this girl, did you freeze up inside?
...and then decide that the best way to unfreeze would be to slam yourself bodily into a brick wall?
Have you ever found out that the whole MOS population of your school hated your girlfriend?
Because she had you?
...and they couldn't, due to the fact that their parents would have shot them?
Twice?
If you were able to employ force-like powers, (able to crush windpipes and hurl things through the air with your will) would you be a tyrant?
Have you ever thought someone was beautiful, just for being themselves?
Does hippie shit like that disgust you, even when it's you thinking of it?
When you dress for Halloween, are little children afraid of you?
When you dress for work, are little children afraid of you?
When you dress for bed, are little children afraid of you?
Do you currently have more than three tubes of fake blood lying around your house?
Do you believe that a knife doesn't own you until it's tasted your blood?
Have you ever had to stop an ex from playing with a knife, trying to cut themself, for fear you'd lose control and force yourself on them?
Have you ever grabbed someone up and shaken them, and told them that if they performed a certain action once more, you didn't care what the circumstances were, you would fuck the life out of them, through their clothes if need be?
That scared them off right quick, didn't it?
Have you gotten any good ideas for things to do from this test?
Do you think you have a good idea of what I'm about from this test?
Have you ever hit on a Jehovah's Witness?
Good going!