Christmas Presents for the B****** down the Street

*Disclaimer*

I know it's mid November, But Hey the Everyone else is celebrating already!

*End Disclaimer*

Ever wanted to just hall of and Smack that guy who lives down the street?

You know who I'm talking about! That Bald, Fat Sum-B**** with the nasty lookin old Hound dog named Blue?

The guy who had you arrested every year for TeePeeing his house even though you didn't do it!

The Butt Monkey who yells at you to stay off his property every time you get near his house.

This year for Christmas instead of Calling the Police because he's drunk off his A** and Threatening to Shoot his Sister Give that man a Present! Because D***** it takes a lot to be that F***** cranky!

Thats right! Give that man a Cookie! Being as Grouchy as he is year 'round is enough to send most average Humans to the Loony bin . . .not this Sack of S***. Nope this tub of otherworldly Goo can B**** at you none stop for years and STILL not run out of Mean and Nasty as Hell things to say!

But What to get for a man who's never been nice to you in his Life? . . .Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Here's my top Six!

6) A Sack of Monkey Droppings!- What a Better way to Say "Dude you SUCK!" than with a Bag of Monkey S***! Just Imagine his surprise when he falls out of his chair in a drunken Stupor on Christmas morning and Find that A Caring person left him a Sack of Stinky Primate Dung!

5) A Laxative Burger!- Nothing like a Greasy Burger plopin down in your stomach to help with Bein Drunk . . . Unless it has Laxatives in it!

4) An Evil Space Chimp!- Send $1,999,921.50 to Bobs house of Evil Space Chimps C/O NBVBV- The Website! :-) (AAAAAAAAH I DID THE EVIL SMILEY FACE THINGIE!)

3) A Bottle of _____ Disguised as JD!- Fill in that Blank with whatever NON-Lethal Substance you want! Dont want any of you who aren't responsible for your action going out and Killing some old guy!

2) Get him a Two headed Deer!- If he's as Redneck as I think he is . .his Head will literally pop off his shoulders trying to figure out which head to blow off first!

And the Number one thing to get that Gooey Sub-Humanoid!

1) Sheep!- Once again the redneck factor comes into play! I dont think i need to Describe this one for ya!

Now have yourselves a Merry little Christmas!