Mall Santa

*Disclaimer*

What is said in this Ramble is admittedly Wrong. If you dont like it . . .Piss off!

*End Disclaimer*

Mall Santa- "Ho Ho Ho! MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

(Little boy walks up)

Mall Santa- "Ho Ho Ho Little boy! And what can Santa get for you this year?"

Little boy- "I want a Fat B****!"

Mall Santa- "Ho Ho H . . .o?"

Little boy- "Yeah that’s it! I want a Fat Ho Ho Ho!"

Mall Santa- "Well I can see you've been a Naughty little boy this year! And do you know what Naughty little boys get in there Stockings?"

Little Boy- " . . .Um . . .Condoms?"

Mall Santa- "WHAT? Little Boy your making Santa Angry!"

Little boy- "So? What are you gonna do about it? CHASE ME?"

Mall Santa- "Now Little Boy . . .You dont want to make me call The Mall Security do you?"

Little Boy- "For what? Asking for a Fat B**** in my Stocking? Wait maybe that was a bad idea . .i dont think there's a Stocking big enough to hold any Fat B******!"

Mall Santa- "That Does it you little Bastard i'm calling for the Mall Security to take your little Punk A** out of the Store right now!"

(The little boy begins to cry as onlooker stare at the pissed off Mall Santa. A Security guard walks up.)

Security Guard- "And just what’s going on here?"

Little boy- "He . .He . . .He tookted out his Ding Dong and tried to touch me with it!"

(The crowd gasps in shock.)

Mall Santa- "THAT'S A LIE!"

(A Lady in the crowd tosses her Purse at the Mall Santa hitting him in the head.)

Security guard- "Let the little boy tell his side of the story you Fat tube of Goo!"

Little Boy- "He saided that if I went into his little house with him . .that he'd Clean my Chimney! And then he touchted me!"

(More people begin throwing things at the mall Santa. One lady takes out her Cell phone, and Calls for the Police.)

Mall Santa- "This is BULLS*** I never did anything to this Child! In fact it was this little Bastard that came up to me, and asked me to bring him a Fat B**** for Christmas!"

Security Guard- A Likely Story You fat Pervert!"

(A Brick suddenly fly’s through the air, and smashes into the side of the Mall Santa's head. He passes out right in front of his little house. A Short while later the Cops show up, and Drag the mall Santa off to Jail. The Security guard, helps the Child off to a bench, and they sit down. After the crowds have dissipated, and the Police are gone the Security guard turns to the kid.)

Security Guard- "So?"

Little boy- "So . . .What?"

Security Guard- "Did ya get it?"

Little Boy- "*taking out the Santa's Wallet* Of Course! Stupid Mall Santa's! Better get to the owner before Anything incriminating is found."

Security guard- "These people just keep getting Dumber and Dumber!"

Thus ends an Early installment of Christmas Cheer!