Two Guys, Two Couches!
Episode One- Early Mornin Beer
*Disclaimer*
The events in this ramble are False . . or at least Lavishly embellished! Any resemblance between the people in this Ramble and some real person is Supposed to be that way. If I offend you . . .Please call 1-800-Lick me!
*End Disclaimer*
(It's four A.M., and we find our Anti-Hero's sitting on there respective couches in front of a TV playing Gauntlet Dark Legacy. The two Couches in the previous Sentence are an Old White one, and a newer Old green colored one. Our Anti-Hero's? The one on the white couch is the taller and Heavier of the two . .he's got long blonde hair, and has a Strange gleem in his eyes. On the screen we see why . ..his Character (The Green jester) is lobbing bombs all over the screen makin much death. He laughs slights as he lobs a magic potion into a large swarm of enemies causing them Much pain and agony. Our Other Anti-Hero is shorter, and much skinnier. He has long black hair, and appears to be attempting to stay awake while relentlessly pummeling enemies to death with his Green Archer.)
Black hair- " . . .Must . .Stay . .Awake! . . Must Slay Dragon!"
Blonde hair- "HeHeHe! BOOM! Eat Flaming Hot Explosive Death Silly Goblin people!"
Black hair- " . . . . . . . .Dude!"
Blonde hair- "Huh?"
Black Hair- "Eat Flaming hot Explosive Death?"
Blonde Hair- "Yup."
Black Hair- " . . . .Need Beer!"
Blonde Hair- "Beeeeeeeeer!"
(Blonde Hair gets up, and walks to the fridge. As he opens the door dramatic music begins to play.)
Blonde Hair- "Dude . .When did you install a Tape player in your Fridge?"
Black Hair- "I . .Dont think i did! . . Maybe it's the guy writing this."
Blonde Hair- " . . . .he's a Freak!"
(Blonde hair looks into the fridge, and to his Horror he finds the fridge to be devoid of Beer. He spins around, and drops to his knees sobbing.)
*THUD*
Black Hair- "The Hell?"
Blonde Hair- " . .Beer . . .none . . No Beer . ."
Black Hair- "I'm . . . . .BEERLESS?"
Blonde Hair- "Sadly 'tis true my Friend."
Black hair- "Need Beer though . . .Brain not working."
Blonde Hair- " . . .*Brain twitches* . . .OW! I Feel over!"
Black hair- "How did you do that?"
Blonde hair- " . . . . .I . . .Dont Know."
(Blonde Hair stands up, and walks back over to the white Couch. He sits down, picks up the controller, and holds it upside down.)
Blonde hair- "AAAAAAAAAH!"
Black hair- "Eh?"
Blonde hair- "The Buttons disappeared off the controller!"
Black Hair- "Whoa."
Blonde hair- "The Chickens must have eaten them!"
Black hair- "Chickens?!"
Blonde hair- "It's true . . .the Chickens fly into your trailer at night, and steal all the good little boys and girls away from the respective peanuts! MY LIFE IS A LIE!"
Black hair- " . . . . . . .Did you say I was out of Beer?"
Blonde Hair- "It all started four year ago when I was run over by the Chief of Popcorn and I . . .Wait . . .Yeah . .you have no beer either."
Black Hair- "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! WHY MY BEER! PRECIOUS BEER!"
Blonde hair- " . . .Why dont you just go to the store and Buy more beer?"
Black Hair- " . . . . . . . .Good idea . . .*Tries to move* . . . . uh . . problem."
Blonde Hair- "Eh?"
Black Hair- "I cant find my feet!"
Blonde hair- "Do you remember where you left em?"
Black Hair- "Last time I saw em they were on the bottom of my legs."
Blonde Hair- "Do you remember where your legs are?"
Black Hair- " . . . . .Not Really."
(Suddenly there's a Knock at the door. Blonde Hair spring up off the couch . . . .)
Blonde Hair- "SANTA!"
(And he trips over the back of the couch. Blonde hair lands face first on the floor.)
Black Hair- " . . . .Whoa!"
(Blonde Hair gets back to his feet, and opens up the door. There standing outside with a case of Beer is Black hairs Girl Friend . . .The Slow One *TSO*)
Blonde hair- " . . . . . . . . . . .YOUR NOT SANTA!"
(Blonde hair slams the door shut, and walks back over to the couch.)
Black Hair- "Who was it?"
Blonde Hair- "It sure as hell wasn't Santa!"
(The door opens, and TSO walks in. She sets the Case of beer down, and Black Hair jumps to his feet . . . . .)
Black Hair- "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!'
(And promptly trips over the back of the white couch.)
TSO- "Why did you just trip over the couch?"
Black hair- "*Face muffled by floor*"
TSO- "What did you say?"
Black Hair- "Need . . .Beer!"
TSO- "That doesn't explain why you fell over the couch!"
(Black hair stands up, and rips open the case of beer. He takes one out , and downs it.)
Black hair- "Because I needed BEER!"
TSO- "That’s Stupid! Your so Silly!"
Blonde Hair- "What in the hell are you doin here at 4 A.M.?"
TSO- "It's not 4 A. M. It's 4 P.M. . . . Dont you people ever use a Clock?"
Blonde Hair- "What’s means this word Clock?"
Black hair- "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"
TSO- "Whatever . . .I Wanna Play Wheel!"
Blonde hair- "Wait Wait Wait . .it's FOUR P.M.? Why the HELL am I still awake?"
Black Hair- "Chickens?"
Blonde Hair- "Good point . . .I'm going to bed."
(Black hair nods as Blonde Hair lays down on the couch, and passes out. TSO sits down on the Green couch as Black hair curls up with his case of beer in the middle of the floor.)
That’s the End jack Hose!
