Customers From Oblivion

*Disclaimer*

This Ramble has to do with some of the mental Rejects that flood the many Supermarkets of my Home town. Well not only my home town . .cause I know some of these types of Rejects are found world wide . .So . .Enjoy!

*End Disclaimer*

Firstly I'd like to state that these are just a few of the people I run into on a Regular basis. No i dont work in a Supermarket . .or anywhere else for that matter . . .But when one goes out shopping they are bound to run into these Customers from Oblivion

First up on my list is the group of people who apparently don't have the common sense to look where the going! I can't begin to count the number of times I've been run into by moron's who are amused with the Color/Shape/Size Of the CIELING! How dumb do you have to be to go into a crowded area, look up, and walk around . .then get Pissed when you run into someone. These are the same people who I think would be inclined to look up into a Thunder storm with there mouth open and Drown!

*Thunder Crashes*

Tommy looks up in Awe

Tommy- "Lookie mommy! The sky's crying! I never done sawded *Gurgle Gurgle Drown!*"

Next we have a Real group of Geniuses! These are the people who dont understand the concept of Name tags! I'm sure you've seen these. People who work in Supermarkets, and most Fast food places have these. It's a little piece of wood with a pin on the back that people who work in these places wear so you know what there name is! The parents of these Lameasses must be terribly proud! I'm sure you know what i'm talking about too. Your in an Isle. Your looking at something on one of the shelves, and these Geniuses walk up to you . .and Ask you if you work there . .or better yet . .they ask you . .when they cant see something on the shelves . .if you have a certain item in stock! Even though your clothes look NOTHING like the uniforms/Special shirts/ Whatever the store makes there staff wear. You also obviously dont have a name tag on . .if you do then you either work for that store or you've decided you wanna be a Jackass and piss these people off . .and if that’s the case then I Salute you my friend . .keep up the good work. You just wanna turn to these people, and with a with a psychotic grin take out a spoon and remove there reproductive organs . .That way you dont have to worry about the stupidity carrying over a generation!

*Customer walks up to you, and sees you looking at a can of peaches*

Customer- "Do you have any Canned Peaches in Stock?"

You- "um . . .I dont work here."

Customer- "Oh . . .Well can you go check?"

You- "Urge . .to . .kill . .rising!"

Customer- "Do you work here?"

*It's about this time that snapping occurs, and the removal of Reproductive organs occurs*

Next up we've got a real treat. This group is one of the dumbest. There the people who walk out of an Isle, right into the middle of one of the main isles . .they dont turn there cart, and once there right dead smack in the middle . .they STOP! Then they look around . . .AT NOTHING! Yet there they stand . .right in the middle of the Isle so no one can get through Just staring into space. Then we get to the Worse Part . . .Sure they look all Pleasant . .Calm and Peaceful . .until you try to ask them to move . . .Then these mental Einstein’s look at you like they own the store . .and you should bow down and kiss there ass. Cause I mean after all They ARE allowing you to buy there overpriced Merchandise! It's either that look . .or they stare down at you like your retarded, and then tell you to go around!

Me- "Um . .Excuse me. Could you please move so I can get around?"

Isle Monkey- "*Staring blankly like you just interrupted Happy time* You can go around!"

Me- "Yeah I would but some Nutsack of a Moron just parked there cart in the middle of the Isle!"

Isle Monkey- "Who did that!'

Me- " . . . . . . . . .There is no way in hell you could be that Stupid! Just move you D***** Cart Before I sick my Chipmunks on you!"

Finally we get to one of my favorite Supermarket Morons. These are the people who walk into a store . .get about half way down an Isle . . .See there 75th Aunt on there great grand Uncles side thrice removed . . .Stop . .and talk to them like they give a S***! Remember if you are one of these people that this person your talking to is usually a member of your family . .that At Christmas . .and Thanksgiving time You WONT EVEN LOOK AT . . .And it's Always the same people . .Like you'll run into Drunk 'ol Cousin Bob . .and He'll be lookin at a Bag of Cheeto's and you'll say something to the affect of "Bob I didn't know you liked Cheeto's" and then this Intellectual titan says something like "Yeah I eat ten F***** pounds of em every week!' And then you go "SO that’s why your teeth are so Orange!" And from there on your conversation attracts Relatives . .and Old Friends Like the Plague! And NO It's not those friends that you actually give a Flying Rat about . . it couldn't be those! No it has to be that Greasy old Fat Bastard you knew in high school that you always Tormented and hit in the groin with a baseball bat! Difference is he moved away . .got into shape . .Made something out of his life . .has millions of dollars . .And Could BUY YOU! . . But you dont give a damn about that You bring up the Old days to waist time.

You- "Hey remember that time I hit you in the Nuts with a Baseball bat?"

Him- "Yeah I remember that! Now I'm a Multi-million . . . ."

You- "Yup good times man . .good time! And remember when I tied you to a tree and the football team took turns hitting you in the nuts with a baseball bat?"

Him- "Go to hell!"

You- "Yeah I know that was an Awesome day!"

But it doesn't end there . .OH NO! See these Miscreants Decide to throw an Isle party . .There's so many of these Rejects that you almost expect to see a Keg somewhere. But ya see . .This is a Supermarket . .or the Isle of a Store . .SOMEWHERE . .Which means that there ARE other shoppers! These Asswads could care less. You try getting down one of the isles, and bump into this group of Isle mongers.

You- "Excuse me could I get through?"

They ignore you.

You- "Excuse me! I need to get through!"

They Ignore you.

You- "HEY! DIPS**** I NEED TO GET THROUGH!"

One of them turns to you

One of them- "You aint gotta be so D**** Rude! We aint blockin Nothin . .you can Juz go Around! S*** bein all rude and S***!"

It's about this time that One of the Employees Walks up.

Employee- "What’s the matter here?"

Before you can answer the Stupid ass who yelled at you for trying to get through opens His/Her big mouth, and tries to relate what happened.

Stupid- "This Dumbass walked up and Started yelling at us, and Interuptin out conversation! Bein all rude and S***! I want you to kick his ass out of this Store!"

You- "BullS*** i'm trying to get down this F***** Isle, and these Rejects from the second grade are standin around having a Kegger!"

Employee- "You do realize that you cant just stand around in the middle of the isle like this."

Stupid- "F*** that! We was here first! He got plenty of room ta just go around!"

Employee- "No he doesn't . . .you need to go sit down somewhere like in the store's restaurant . .or outside . .or somewhere where your not disturbing the customers."

Stupid- "F*** you . .you aint nothing but a rude little B****! I'm gonna report you to your manager!"

Employee- "I am the manager . .And you need to leave."

Stupid- "F*** NO! You cant kick us out! We aint do nothin!"

It's about this time that more snapping occurs, and You walk off, and Depending on how you are personally you either plot there doom from afar . .Hold it all in until you get home, and write it down on a website . .or you just wait for them to walk out, and destroy them with large instruments of destruction.

That’s about it for now . .When i get enough ramble thought up for some more of these Rejects I'll put it up on the site.