NBVBV Proudly bring to you

Beating a Milk man

with Gardening Equipment

(We see our unsuspecting Milk Man . .Bob traversing the mean streets of some pleasant looking seedy town. He stops outside one of the nice pleasant looking houses in order to unlatch there White picket demon gate of HELL! Bob approaches the quiet, and happy looking house of DEATH! As he gets near the door to OBLIVION a man appears from behind an EVIL ROSE BUSH holding a Garden Hoe. The man walks up behind Bob, and raises the Hoe high into the air.)

Man- "HOE HOE HOE!"

THWAK

THWAK

THWAK

(Bob slumps to the ground with the Hoe sticking up from his back. He screams out in pain.)

Bob- "OUCHIE!"

(The mans shoulders slump)

Man- "Ouchie? I damn near severed your spine and all you can say is ouchie?"

Bob- "Well what should I have said! This really hurt!"

Man- "Yeah . . .but . .OUCHIE? What the F*** are you Two?"

Bob- "I couldn't be Two . .I have stubble."

Man- "I'll Stubble you!"

Bob- "What in the Hell is that Supposed to mean? I'll stubble you? How do you stubble someone?"

(The man picks up a Pair of Hedge clippers)

Man- "Like this!"

SNIIIIIP!

Bob- "I dont think that resembles stubble at all!"

Man- "Ya know you shouldn't be talking right now!"

Bob- "Well what do you expect me to do? Just lay here bored?"

Man- "No you're not understanding! You shouldn't be able to talk . .i cut your damned head off!"

(Bob looks over from where his head rolled, and sees his blood covered body laying on top of the STEPS TO THE DOOR TO OBLIVION!"

Bob- "Well I'll be a Son of a B****! You sure as hell did cut my head off! Hey wait . .if you cut my head off then why can I still Talk?"

Man- "Not Sure . . .But I'ma Cure it!"

(The man starts up a Lawn mower)

Bob- "How you gone cure my headlessness?"

Man: "Like this!"

Mow

Mow

Mow

Man: "MWU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Bob- "Garble . . .Sputter . . .Bleed Bleed . .More Bleed! . . . .*DIE*"

Man- "Well that was fun . . .Time to butcher a few Chipmunks!"

(The man begins to skip away while chanting in some unknown language, but stops when he hears a voice.)

Bob- "Um . . .Quick Question!"

Man- "The Hell? I just Ran over you three times with a Lawn mower! How are you still talking?"

Bob- "I'm not really sure . . .But . .Why did you brutally attack me with Gardening Equipment?"

Man- "It's the name of this Ramble for today. what the hell would you have preferred I attacked you with . .Peacocks?"

Bob- "I just dont get why it had to be Gardening Equipment."

Man- "Here look at this . . .uh . .where are your eyes?"

Bob- "Damned if I Know. Just hold it towards the biggest pile of Goo."

(The man holds up the title to this ramble . .the Goo seems to nod in the wind.)

Bob Goo- "I understand . .Thanks . .um . .I'm going to go Die again."

Man- "Righty-O!"

Bob Goo- "Sputter Sputter . . .Bleed . .ooze . . .*DIE*!"

Man- "Well that was Just F****** unbelievable. I hope the next time this Psychotic Dilwad puts me in a Ramble he at Least makes it half way intelligent. Now . .Where the hell were them Chipmunks!"

(Suddenly as if on Que. several Chipmunks jump down from a tree in front of the man. They all leap forward, and latch onto his neck. They then precede to bite through his throat. After their nefarious deed is done the Chipmunks all wipe the blood from there Cute little Chipmunk mouths, and run off into the street where the run over by a four year old on a Tricycle.)

And they all lived Happily ever After!

The End!

*Disclaimer*

I Hate you all!

*End Disclaimer*

*Second Disclaimer*

Unless you're Female and Hot!

*End Second Disclaimer*

*Third Disclaimer*

Think i have enough Disclaimers?

*End Third Disclaimer*

*Fourth Disclaimer*

The person responsible for this Dribble does not Condone the Beating of anyone with anything . . . .Wait did that make sense?

*End Fourth Disclaimer*

*Fifth Disclaimer*

There . .Now I'm pretty sure I've got enough Disclaimers!

*End Fifth Disclaimer*