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The Little Bastard Decoder Ring

 

(Two little children are eating bowls of cereal when one of them looks at the other one. His face is wracked with pain.)

Boy #1- "What’s the Matter Bobby?"

Bobby- "MY TOOTH HURTS!"

Boy #1- "Lemme See!"

(Boy #1 looks into Bobby's mouth, and gets a look of shear happiness on his face.)

Boy #1- "Bobby . .You found the Mystery Prize!"

(Boy #1 reaches into Bobby's mouth, and pulls out a small metallic ring.)

Bobby- "Oh Boy! What is it Johnny?"

Johnny- "Bobby this is . . . ."

(Johnny holds it out dramatically, and in the process punches bobby in the eye.)

Bobby- "MY EYE!"

Johnny- "A Little Bastard Decoder Ring! Why with this little ring you can Decode . . .ANYTHING!"

(bobby slowly sits back up holding his eye.)

Bobby- "Well why didn't it break when I bit it?"

Johnny- "Cause Silly . .it's made of . . . . ."

(Bobby holds the ring out dramatically again . . .this time he punches Bobby in his other eye.)

Bobby- "AH F***!"

Johnny- "TITANIUM! It's Guaranteed for . . .Eternity!"

Bobby- "Well aint that just F***** special!"

(Johnny Recoils with a look of shock on his face.)

Johnny- "For Shame Bobby! You shouldn't talk like that . .the Decoder monkeys may be hiding under the table waiting for you to swear so they can steal you mystical Jell-O!"

Bobby- " . . .Uh . . yeah . . .Just give me my Damned ring!"

Johnny- "Ok Bobby! . .but if you dont watch what you say they might . . ."

(Bobby yanks the ring away from Johnny.)

Bobby- "Shut the Hell up! Now what to Decode

Johnny- "Well Bobby . .in ever Box of Bastard-O's there's a piece of paper with a message on it!"

Bobby- "What are you a F***** TV Commercial?"

(Bobby reaches into the Box, and pulls out a Small Piece of paper with strange little letters on them.)

Bobby- "Ok . . .Lets see . ."

(Bobby begins twisting the top of the ring, and saying the letters aloud as he find them.)

Bobby- "W . . .E . . .R . . .E . . U . . .N . .D . .E . .R . . .T . . .H . . .E . .T . .A . . .B . .L . .E . . . Were Under the table? What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

(Suddenly we hear the Screeching sound of several angry sounding Monkeys,

EEK

EEK

EEK

and Bobby is yanked under the table. Johnny picks up the ring.)

Johnny- "Stupid Bobby . .Little Bastard Decoder rings are for the . . .Wait did I just say Bastard?"

(We hear the monkeys again,

EEK

EEK

EEK

and Johnny is yanked under the table. a Picture of Bastard-O's is shown.)

Announcer- "Bastard-O's . .for clean mouthed little boys and Girls!"

(The scene fades to Black.)

Announcer- "Stupid F***** kids!"

(We hear the announcer stand up)

EEK

EEK

EEK

Announcer- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Sputter . .Gasp . .Bleed . .Bleed . .*DIE*"

 

And they all Died After pissing off the Monkeys!

The End!