Rules of Hoofage
This part of the site is one of the weirdest I have. The cause for making this page is nowhere near a good one, although that didnt stop e from making any other page so what the hell. The half assedly bad cause for creating this page however is the expression "Don't make me hoof you in the nuts." I feel tat this is a horrible reason to create a web page as, if you read on, you will too. I became hopelessly addicted to this expression by my friend Richard who used it more often than is good for anyone within ear shot. Once I became addicted to this exprssion I expanded upon it, here is the result.
Half a Hoof - a punch to the nuts A Hoof - a kick to the nuts Hoof and a Half - a CRUSHING knee to the nuts
Those are the simple straight forward rules. They are easy to remember and not overly complicated. The rules do however get extremely complicated once you gt into the degrees of the hoofs.
The following is a set of degree values for a half a hoof or a punch to the nuts.
1° - 90° - A sudden jab 91° - 180° - A punch with pull back 181° - 270° - A sudden hit with a step forward 271° - 360° - A punch with pull back and a step forward
The following is the degree values for a hoof or a hoof and a half, or a kick or crushing knee to the nuts.
1° - 90° - A sudden hit 91° - 180° - A hit with pull back 181° - 270° - One step and hit 271° - 360° - Runing step(s) and hit
In between these degrees is a total judgement call from either the hoofer or the hoofee. This is based on the speed and acceleration. These numbers will be based between 1 and 90 just add the first number of your hoofage degree category(above) to reach your appropriate hoofage title.
1° - 10° - a steady speed, slowing down before contact 11° - 20° - a constant slow speed 21° - 30° - a steady slow speed, sped up at the end 31° - 40° - a constant regular speed 41° - 50° - a steady regular speed, sped up at the end 51° - 60° - a constant fast speed 61° - 70° - a steady fast speed, sped up at the end 71° - 80° - a constant acceleration 81° - 90° - a constant full forced acceleration
These are the rules of hoofage, diagrams will be added later for easier understanding. An example of this would be a constantly speeding up kick to the nuts with a running start. This scenario means that there is a hoof in the 271° - 360° range. after consulting the last table it is clear that a constant acceleration means 71° - 80°. After adding 271° to 71°, I have 342°. This means that I have a Hoof to the 342°.