> > >> > The Complete Sardarji Encyclopedia
> > > >
> > > > > >Sardarji Strikes Back.......> >> >> >
> > > >
> > >
> > >>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > ------
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Sardarji is buying a TV........
> > > > > >Sardarji : "Do you have color TVs? "
> > > > > >Salesman : "Sure. "
> > > > > >Sardarji : "Give me a green one, please. "
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Sardarji calls Air India...........
> > > > > >Sardarji : "How long does it take to fly to
> > > > >Amritsar? "
> > > > > >Receptionist : "Just a second "
> > > > > >Sardarji : "Thank you."..........and hangs up.
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >EMPLOYMENT........
> > > > > >Our sardarji was filling up an application form for
> > > > >a job. He promptly
> > > > > >filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
> > > > >Then he came to the
> > > > > >column 'Salary Expected :'
> > > > > >He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
> > > > >After much thought he wrote
> > > > > >: "Yes"
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >CROCODILE BOOTS..........
> > > > > >Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
> > > > >bring me a pair of
> > > > > >crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and
> > > > >disappears. Finally a search is
> > > > > >being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and
> > > > >watch him killing a huge
> > > > > >one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs
> > > > >and angrily exclaims "71st
> > > > > >and *again* barefeet! "
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
> > > > >He asks the
> > > > > >clerk.......
> > > > > >Sardarji : "What is that shiny object? "
> > > > > >Ckerk : "That is a thermos flask "
> > > > > >Sardarji : " What does it do ? "
> > > > > >Clerk : " It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold
> > > > >things cold. "
> > > > > >Sardarji : "I'll take it ! "
> > > > > >The next day, he walks into work with his new
> > > > >thermos. His sardar boss sees
> > > > > >him and asks......
> > > > > >Boss : "What is that shiny object with you? "
> > > > > >Sardarji : "It's a thermos flask."
> > > > > >Boss : "What does it do?"
> > > > > >Sardarji : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things
> > > > >cold. "
> > > > > >Boss : "Wow! What do you have in it? "
> > > > > >Sardarji : "Two cups of coffee and a coke. "> >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed
> > > > >it home somewhere in
> > > > > >Rajasthan(A place in India), but two days later disconnected it
> > > > >because he was getting
> > > > > >complaints like :
> > > > > >"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"> >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
> > > > > >He will compare it with the original for spelling
> > > > >mistakes !!
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional
> > > > >white sheet of paper ?
> > > > > >(he already has one and he wants one more..) He
> > > > >takes a photocopy of the 
> > > > > >white paper !!!
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
> > > > >fighters. They were
> > > > > >planning for free Punjab.........
> > > > > >Santa Singh raised a point " Oh..we'll get Punjab
> > > > >from India but how would
> > > > > >we develop it? "
> > > > > >That was a difficult question indeed.
> > > > > >Suddenly Banta Singh replied, " No problem! we'll
> > > > >attack USA, it would take
> > > > > >over us and then we would be a state of USA and
> > > > >we'll automatically get
> > > > > >developed. "
> > > > > >Santa Singh : " OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD
> > > > >HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE
> > > > > >TAKE OVER USA ????? "
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > ------
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a
> > > > >bargain........
> > > > > >Sardarji : "I would like to buy this small TV,"
> > > > > >Salesman : "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs "
> > > > > >He hurried home removed his turban and changed his
> > > > >hair style, and returned
> > > > > >to tell the salesman........ Sardarji : "I would
> > > > >like to buy this TV."
> > > > > >Salesman : "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars"
> > > > > >"Damn, he recognized me " he thought. He went for a
> > > > >complete disguise this
> > > > > >time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big
> > > > >sunglasses, then waited a
> > > > > >few days before he again approached the
> > > > >salesman.......
> > > > > >Sardarji : "I would like to buy this TV. "
> > > > > >Salesman : "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars, "
> > > > > >Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a
> > > > >Sardar? "
> > > > > >Salesman : " Because that's a microwave, "
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
> > > > > >Because below 18 was not allowed.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
> > > > > >Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade
> > > > >at you?
> > > > > >Pull the pin and throw it back.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
> > > > > >Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
> > > > >mouth.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
> > > > > >Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
> > > > >tightly over his ears?
> > > > > >Trying to hold on to a thought.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
> > > > > >So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
> > > > > >They always forget the recipe.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
> > > > > >He threw it off a cliff.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
> > > > > >A wind tunnel.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
> > > > > >The back of his head.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
> > > > > >Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
> > > > > >Just-one Singh.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
> > > > >storms?
> > > > > >They think their picture is being taken.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
> > > > > >" Toes Go In First. "
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
> > > > > >It has a stamp on it.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >Why can't Sardar dial 911?
> > > > > >They can not find the eleven on the phone
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >How do you get Sardar on the roof?
> > > > > >Tell him the drinks are on the house.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >"Oh, look at the dead bird."
> > > > > >Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >One day a sardar is walking on the road. He sees a
> > > > >piece of shit. He bends
> > > > > >down........dips a finger and tastes
> > > > >it........."Yuk! ! It's shit!!!
> > > > > >".........then he moves on thinking "Good, I din't
> > > > >step on it"
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
> > > > > >You always hear about them but you never see them.
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > ------
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman
> > > > >as opposed to a regular
> > > > > >one?
> > > > > >You have to hollow out the head.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -------
> > > > > >
> > > > > >TO LOSE WEIGHT..
> > > > > >The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight
> > > > >kilometers a day for 300
> > > > > >days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300
> > > > >days, Sardarji called the
> > > > > >doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had
> > > > >a problem.........
> > > > > >"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
> > > > > >"I'm 2400 kms from home."
> > > >
> > >
> > >>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > ------
> > > > > >
> > > > > >TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
> > > > > >Sardars Hari Singh and Gyani Singh are in a railway
> > > > >station.
> > > > > >Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train
> > > > >to Ludhiana? "
> > > > > >"No," answers the Railway man.
> > > > > >"Can I? " asks Gani Singh.
> > > >
> > >
> > >>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > ------
> > > > > >
> > > > > >A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when
> > > > >the Dinosaurs start
> > > > > >approaching he is cowering in his seat when his
> > > > >friend asks him "kyon
> > > > > >sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai
> > > > >cinema hi to hai"
> > > > > >Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata
> > > > >hai ki cinema hai lekin
> > > > > >voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway
> > > > >tracks and he takes
> > > > > >along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody
> > > > >stops him and asks "kyon
> > > > > >bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho? "
> > > > > >Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin
> > > > >bhook se na marjaun"
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt
> > > > >sleepy so he gave the
> > > > > >guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to
> > > > >wake him up when the
> > > > > >station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt
> > > > >that for 20 rupees, the
> > > > > >sardarji deserved more service. So, when the
> > > > >Sardarji fell asleep, the
> > > > > >barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the
> > > > >station arrived, the Sardarji
> > > > > >was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he
> > > > >went to wash his face,
> > > > > >and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
> > > > > >Said his wife " What's the matter? "
> > > > > >Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20
> > > > >rupees and woken up
> > > > > >someone else"
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his
> > > > >knees and started
> > > > > >thanking God.
> > > > > >A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is
> > > > >missing; what are you
> > > > > >thanking God for ?"
> > > > > >The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing
> > > > >to it that I wasn't
> > > > > >riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would
> > > > >have been missing too."
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the
> > > > >birth certificate
> > > > >
> > > > >"Mother:Sikh.........Father:Sikh.........Kid:Chinese."
> > > > > >"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
> > > > >Sikh? "
> > > > > >"Aah" said Sardarji " I read in a newspaper, that
> > > > >every 4th person born on
> > > > > >the Earth now is a Chinese."
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent
> > > > >to the outer space. The
> > > > > >ground control issues commands..........
> > > > > >Ground control : "Rubi!"
> > > > > >Rubi : "Woof!" (its the barking sound)
> > > > > >Ground control : "Press the red button."
> > > > > >Rubi : "Woof! Woof! "
> > > > > >Ground control : " Moti! "
> > > > > >Moti : "Woof! "
> > > > > >Ground control : "Press the white button."
> > > > > >Moti : " Woof! "
> > > > > >Ground control : " Sardarji! "
> > > > > >Sardarji : "Woof. "
> > > > > >Ground control : " Stop barking, feed the dogs and
> > > > >don't touch anything! "
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street
> > > > >which has a Clock Tower
> > > > > >when someone asks him........
> > > > > >" You want to buy the clock on the Tower "
> > > > > >Sardarji says "Yes".
> > > > > >"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a
> > > > >ladder."
> > > > > >The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having
> > > > >waited for several hours
> > > > > >the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On
> > > > >the next day the Sardarji
> > > > > >is again walking along the same street and the same
> > > > >man asks him..........
> > > > > >"You want to buy the clock."
> > > > > >Sardarji says " Yes "
> > > > > >"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a
> > > > >ladder."
> > > > > >Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not
> > > > >a fool.This time, you
> > > > > >wait and I'll go get a ladder."
> > > > > >>
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >
> > > > > >DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
> > > > >They managed to get into a
> > > > > >double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to
> > > > >get a bottom seat, But
> > > > > >unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a
> > > > >while when the rush was
> > > > > >over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta
> > > > >Singh. He met Banta in a bad
> > > > > >condition clutching the seats in front with both
> > > > >hands, scared to death.
> > > > > >Santa Singh : "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's
> > > > >goin' on? Why are you so
> > > > > >scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
> > > > > >Banta Singh : "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >----
> > > > -----
> > > > > >> >Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
> > > > >The doctor asked him what
> > > > > >had happened to his ears and he answered........
> > > > > >Sardarji:"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang
> > > > >- but instead of picking
> > > > > >up the phone I accidentally
> > > > > >picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
> > > > > >The doctor exclaimed in disbelief : " Oh Dear!
> > > > >......But what happened to
> > > > > >your other ear?"
> > > > > >Sardarji : "The scoundrel called back."