Pharses 2003-2004

NAU “Voltaire is a two-bit sophoclean frenchie whore.” Michelle
PITT “I smell like rancid ass. Your turn for a hug!” John T.
LU “Ooo! Stabbing you—that’d be fun!” Prof. Sanerib
LU “I’m a wholeling.” Bill
LU “Whatever you say, magical fat face talking pinata!” Bill & Grant
LU “You’re tragic.” “That’s kidding!” Becca & Grant
PITT “I'll be gothtasticizing.” Bridget R.
PITT “Love ya like a slut loves lube!” Fiona M.
LU “He looks satisfied.” April
ISU “Just take a SWAG at it...a scientific wild ass guess.” Dr. Rob Hubert
LU “He’s trashed—trashed, I tell you!” Prof. Hollis
PITT “Un-fuck you!” Bridget R.
PITT “I was triskadectatorian.” Brie
PITT “She has to have some downfall...” “She's ugly.” Tawnya H. & Brie
PITT “Well, if he has to marry a virgin 'cause he's Catholic, his only choices are you and me and he isn't marrying the atheist!” Brie
LU “Phantom of the Opera?” “…no.” “Showboat?” “… no.” “We’re Going to a Graveyard Where We’re Likely to Get Slaughtered?” “…I love it!” Becca & Bill
ISU “I swear upon 10 holy toes.” Sakr-el Bahr's pimp
ISU “Godolphin, it's like God and Dolphin.” Elicia
ISU “I bet he's wearing a cup under his pantaloons.” Elicia
ISU “Damn him for wearing a cup under his pantaloons.” Rich (for Sakr)
ISU “Beards and pantaloons are like a power symbol.” Rich
PITT “I look like I've pushed 8 kids out of these hips, but no man has ever been linked with these loins!” Bridget R.
LU “I guess I’m comfortable with wearing beige food.” April
PITT “Fuck! Jesus!” Bridget R.
PITT “I biffed it up big-time!” Bridget R.
LU “The Fill.” Mitch
LU “He’s realisticafying it.” Matt
LU “And no, not so you can eat the ranger…” Becca
LU “Let’s play Rock-Paper-Scissors.” “Ok…6! I win!” Richard & Bill
LU "Oh great, more demons." "Just because they're d20's doesn't mean they're demons!" "So what are they?" "...Demons." Bill & Becca
“Ford Exploder.” Sara H.
“Hallowthanksmas.” Brie
“Fuzzy 8 million 13.” Sara H.
“I don’t think Gina is a standard pizza topping.” Devon
“Smite the stripey pin!” Becca
“The quickie league!” Gina
“Bite of smally holing.” Becca
“ ‘Cause I like to, savy?” Gina
“It was before the eunusizing.” Becca
“You said ‘wet shirt no break,’ not ‘piss shirt bend bars.’ ” Shanghai Noon
“Because he’d never studied...before us...with.” Manda
LU “We’ve gone over this before. It’s not faboom, it’s fapink.” Bill
LU “I guess I need to be reassured by the Beebil.” Prof. Goldgar
LU “I’m dumbass and Manda’s a bitch.” Becca
LU “Nobody’s worse than an old whore...or so my colleagues tell me.” Prof. Goldgar
LU “Let’s think of what an identity element would have to do.” Shove my pen up his nose. Prof. Pourciau & Becca
LU “It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t doorknob height.” Brad
LU “Don’t step on my glasses-” “Your head is falling off!” Teacher & Bill
PITT “I don't want to be one of those girls that has a leash on her boyfriend's testicles and gives a yank whenever he gets away from her.” Bridget R.
LU “Twelve was for senior year and x was…ooooo!” Prof. Pourciau
VSL “I’m not quite sure, but it sounds smart.” Manda
LU “Awww…she’s running.” Dan
LU "I'll go up yours." Rachel
LU "My name is...Astray." "Y'mean Chair?" Daniel & Bill
LU "Yellow is most easily seen." "...I can't see it." Bill & Richard
LU “I want my honey!” Becca
LU “Dying’s not good. Don’t do it, ok?” Random Plantz resident
VSL “The other volunteers and I almost pissed our collective pants.” Manda
LU “Okay, we’ve got pink and we’ve got pink.” “Light raspberry.” BU Runners
LU “If you’re going to scratch, make sure you don’t have chalk on your hands.” Mrs. Markowitz
LU “They can’t be so ‘horny.’ ” Dan
LU “Your family is a whole drawer of smelly gym socks.” Milne
LU “Intimidating chocolate bars.” Dan
LU “We’ve gone over this before: I’m 4’ 3” with the hat.” Daniel
LU “It bites you with its claws.” Becca
LU “I cast Greater Knee Cap Breaking.” Matt K.
LU “A small ball of fire and a large ball of elf jump into the cart.” Dave
LU “Excuse you.” “Thank you.” “You’re very welcome…wait…” Rachel & Dave
LU “I kidneyed.” Prof. Pourciau
LU “It’s a barn in which birds live.” Brad
LU “Can I get a fear bonus because she’s getting walked at?” Dave
LU “Mapping ho!” “No, that’d be her.” Brad & Becca
LU “Sex is latin.” Richard
LU “Perhaps something the color of intellegement enhancement.” Dave
MU “It’s like yoga for my fingers.” Ryan
LU “Your feet feel don’t funny.” Becca
LU “What about halflings?” “You choke and sputter.” “Whatever. I call it singing.” Bill & Becca
LU “Ooo! A beard! I want one!” Richard
LU “What’s the dog look like it’s made out of, fur or evil?” Dan
LU “Partly cloudy with a chance of ass kicking.” Bill
LU “Yes, your character is thinking what I think your character is thinking.” Richard
LU “Oo! Eat me whole! Eat me whole!” Becca
LU “I attack him with a muffin.” “Yes, but it’s a plus five muffin.” Bill & Dan
LU “This is a cinematic squirrel. You’d never hit it.” Bill
LU “The only part of the giant that’s not part of the terrain is the part that’s been destroyed by the ever-whirling chain.” Becca
LU “You’re really hot but incredibly stupid...I’m torn.” Bill
LU “Killed it...permanently...technically...sort of.” Richard
LU “Melf’s Ass Chicken.” Brad
LU “They have a strong moral code!” “But the prostitutes don’t.” Bill
LU “It’s like this:” *hand motions* Grant
LU “And a heave…and a heave…and a ho!” Richard
LU “Is it flat-clawed?” Becca
LU “Why are you doing that? You don’t even know! I don’t even know!” “Let’s see: you’re puking and being a bitch.” “That’s why I’m making you aspirin.” Rachel, Daniel, & Bill
LU “No Tippey, you can’t pull the Edmund clause.” Becca
LU “Oh no, it wasn’t 15 minutes.” Grant
LU “Why do I have long hair?” Van
LU “The amount of pee going in can’t displace the ice cream going out.” Amanda
LU “She’s selectively nice.” Libby
PITT “I think they are zombies... it's like a car salesman died and was doomed to roam QVC for the entirety of his afterlife.” Brie
PITT “To brainwash most people, all you need to give them is a light rinse.” Qtd. by Professor Pellegrini
PITT “We're not high! We're laughing because Bridget got a precognitive fortune cookie.” Brie
PITT “He would probably go for a 65 year old, 395 lb. dyke in skidmarked panties. I digress.” Bridget
PITT “You stabbed Satire! and it went straight through to formative masterpieces!” Brie
LU “Did I pop ‘em?” Mary
PITT “That sucks my nonexistent cock.” Bridget
PITT “English is German crossed with French and stuck in a blender on puree.” Brie
PITT “You can take it with a grain of granulated sugar substitute.” Brie
PITT “I don't need the sharpest knife in the drawer.” “You don't need the one with the blade snapped off, either.” Tawnya & Brie
PITT “My soul tastes great with peanut butter and onions.” Brian Lee
LU “Excuse me.” “There’s no excuse for you.” *punch* Rachel & Bill
PITT “I like your trashcan. It is physically—and quite possibly emotionally—attached to my trash.” Bridget
PITT “My other underwear are French!” Bridget
PITT “That is fornicatingly radiant.” Bridget
PITT “You can move to the everglades with me. We'll build a shack to live in and adopt 12 cats, all named Bob.” Bridget
PITT “I have this image of you on the street holding a sign that says 'will take German for sex'.” Brie
PITT “With someone who is a sex fiend and a psych major, you can't go wrong with a Sigmund Freud bobblehead!” Brie
MU “Tune in next time…we’ll be playing for souls.” Ryan
LU “Hey Helena, what’ll you give me for this?” “…my gratitude?” “I’ll take it!” Brad & Rachel
LU “Don’t play with the old woman! You don’t know where it’s been!” Dave
LU “It’s not for money, it’s for evil.” Bill
LU “You’re selling your services. Are you willing to be my bitch?” Brad
LU “Sorry I’m late. I was waylaid by bandits.” “That’s a lie. You have nothing worth stealing. I’ve checked.” Daniel & Bill
LU “So you mean we can’t judge people by their religion?” “Yeah.” “Then how are we supposed to judge people?” “Their race.” “Only in D&D can we have this conversation.” Brad, Becca, & Bill
LU “He could kick your ass.” “If he could find it.” “He’s cinematic.” “I hate movies.” Becca & Bill
LU “She’s gonna fail his charisma check.” Becca
LU “These flasks are worth several kingdoms.” “So we could buy two several kingdoms…” Becca & Bill
LU “Ecognomics. What does this have to do with the sound of little men bouncing off rocks?” Richard
LU “You’re floating and glowing and you smell like a god.” Bill
LU “It’s the frat boy in all of us.” Professor Glick
LU “What the Nazis wanted to do what just poop everywhere…basically.” Professor Glick
PITT “Just because your ass is cracked, doesn’t mean your legs are broken.” Bridget
PITT “They didn’t mean to mix the baby batter, but they did.” Arai
PITT “Well, I hope you broke their ‘collective’ noses, so they have to get some ‘collective’ rhinoplasty... assuming they haven’t done that already.” Brie
PITT “I think he has a penis!” Bridget
PITT “I’m here for the prostitution license. Is the exam written or oral?” TA Erika
PITT “She ripped out his heart, stomped on it, fed it to a dog who then shat it into a 5-yr-old’s sandbox.” Amanda Long
PITT “It’s like pornography. Can you define it? No, but you know it when you see it.” Professor Snoke
LU “I’m Grand Master of the Bilge Pump.” Grant
LU “Well, it’s better to go to bed early and get up early.” “And she’s doing that for the baby.” Becca & Rachel
LU “Full-round drool, shit action.” Tippy
LU “I’m not spastic and stupid. I’m violent and irrational.” Bill
LU “If you flash the guards, you can sneak attack them.” Dan R.
LU “Shhh! Don’t talk! Your voice hurts my ears.” Bill
LU “Up the nose!” “Steal my line will ya? Well piss off!” Bill & Becca
“Soon it’ll be six year of No Shorts Wearage.” Matt O.
“ ‘Log cabin’.” Becca
“Kari! There’s a flood! Call Noah!” Tim P.
“Today at…h-huh work!” Manda
LU “W00t w00t, porno!” Drusilla
“It’s just water under the bridge…no, it’s a ho under the bridge.” Laurie
“Stupid bitch!” Liz
“It’s a nose warmer.” Mrs. Johnson
"Did that bird just die?" Betsey
“Maybe not you…” “Don’t worry, we’ll eat you first.” “Blood?” Becca, Devon, & Elicia
“If I were a fish, I would swim around!*” Devon, Elicia, & Rich (* denotes sing like nails on a chalk board)
“Bye little birds!” Christine
“When it’s hot out, you can only get so naked.” Laura
"I smell...hot guys!" Nikki A.
2 Whoops Drink Beef-a-Roo Receipt
“He warrants some space on my hard drive.” Becca
“No drug dealing.” “No…I’ll just shoot up or something.” Becca & Christine
“Christine, you have an inferiority complex.” “I know.” Ashlin & Christine
“At least you didn’t go through a wall…he was riding a bike…in a house…with a bucket on his head.” Manda
“Yeah, doesn’t Becca know chicks before dicks?” Kat
“Yeah. Just hit it with a knife.” Mrs. G
“Instead of friends with benefits, you can have minions with priveleges.” Brie
“Look for a black Probe.” Amanda
“Right in the guttox.” Amanda
“’Cause she’s blind, you dumbfuck!” Nikki A.
“I don’t think he can be in a dream. I think they’re nightmares once he’s in them.” Becca
“I smell…hot guys.” Nikki A.
“This is not a scouting function!” “Fuck you!” Becca & Brie
“I think she was eaten by rabid dingos or something.” Brie
“When I put my keys in my pocket, it looks like my leg is happy to see everybody.” Alazda
“The Clitaurus got rear-ended.” Alazda
“But we could go to like, Timbukfour and I'd be happy.” Bridget
“That's one step closer to getting oral sex from a secretary.” John T.
“Chiang Kai-shek was the lesser of two bastiches.” Brie
“Joy is a nice, warm pussy... Hi, Dad!” Erin
“It was a compliment, despite the scatology involved.” Bridget
“John Cleese is God... No, I take that back. Doug Adams is God, John Cleese is St. Peter.” Brie
NAU "He must have watched too many horrific episodes of violent teletubbies as a child." Prof Reser