Football Jumpers recalled
The local GerkVille Football squad had to send back their newly ordered team singlets after witnesses described them as “a colour co-ordination disaster.” The singlets were a dark navy colour with a purple strip encircling the wearers abdomen accompanied by a smaller purple strip above it and a small red strip below it. The offending jumper also had several strips from top to bottom. GerkVille Football Captain, Shane Russ commented that they looked “fucking shit”.
Couple Ripped off
Wealthy couple, Nick prior and Sarah Noonan were spotted today shopping for a new car to add to their extensive collection. The couple eventually settled on a 1982 Mitsubishi Colt, after the salesman allegedly told them that it was in mint condition and a collectors item.
News readers voice not up to scratch
The GVNNC (GerkVille National news centre) was inundated with complaints today as viewers complained about the volume of Melissa Walsh’s voice. Melissa was hired this week as the daily 7' o clock newsreader. People from all ages complained, saying that her voice was too quiet and her way of speaking was indirect. Melissa insisted that she wouldn’t have got the job if she hadn’t fucked the producer.
