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Falsh's Update for May, 2004 This is Falsh giving a shout out to pubes. There are several different types of pubes and this alone makes them wonderful. I mean, anything that can be styled in different ways and is multifunctional has to be pretty damn sweet. There are several different styles of pubes, from barren fields, to landing strips to afros to little goose down feathers. God bless pubes. And wiggers that tell us we're sexy. Especailly me. I AM THE SHORT ONE! and Poco... I'll cut you and make you bleed. It'll be hot, I promise. You won't feel a thing. You know where to find me... Entry for September 5 2004 Hi Guys- For anyone that actually still checks up on this site, I apologize for not updating since, well, MAY. Thats pretty damn sad. I don't know what's going to become of this site. Here's the situation: Pro- I'm living with Falsh, so we will be together once more to fuel this site. Con- We both will be starting back up at school again (me for the first time in 2 years! Ahhhhh!), so who knows how much we'll actually care about donating time to this here site of ours. Pro- I'm also living with Anita and Booker, two boobalitious girlies who no doubtedly will want to help out with the site as well. Con- I myself have lost a lot of interest in posting on this thing, as no one seems to check up on this thing anymore anyways. So you see, I don't see much of a point... Pro- NateDogg will also be nearby, so if pictures are posted, you'll actually be able to recognize the people in them. Con- Who knows if I actually will take many pictures, or will post them. Cause, lets face it, I'm lazy. So the fate of the site is still unknown. Check back often to see what becomes of it. If you actually care about this wee project that was started way back in June of 2002 (I think anyways), then by all means, write it on the message board. If you want me to keep updating this thing, I will. Otherwise, she's, um, you know, done. Poco's Entry for Jan 8th 2004 Right, so here I am, webmaster extraordinaire, updating Young Julia's site. She has asked me to tell everyone that she hates them and that they smell bad...expecially you Falsh, nobody likes YOU. JOKING! (well.... sorta) Anyway, what Julia really wanted me to say was THANK YOU to everyone who called or visited or lent their support during her stay in the hospital. Your compassion has not gone unnoticed. She will be giving everyone who visited her in the hospital $100. Currently the money is being held by Falsh, so if you haven't received your hundred bones yet, go ask Falsh, better yet, go steal 100 bucks from Falsh, its rightfully yours anyway. But I digress, I ( as a wonderful friend and webmaster ) will be updating the site from time to time for Julia, as well as cleaning up some of the pics sections so they don't take up so much space and so we can fit more on our server here.
Heres a pic of Me and my Man Toy that Ton wanted me to put up. I drink the vodka drink And when I have to pee I use the kitchen sink (Keg goes flying through the window) Hey, where's my keg? Falsh's Kife Assed Entry for July 20, 2002 What do Michael Jackson and Catholic Priests have in common? They Rape Little Boys! Ton's Entry for July 20, 2002 Marvollous, Falsh has FINALLY contributed to this site. I am overjoyed with glee. Also, I whooped batman's ass. (that is a song by Wesley Willis- "I Whooped Batman's Ass". I recommend you download it and make it your new holy song) Entry for July 20, 2002 I left the Shout Out to Ewan, cause that shit is gold. However, I am not in a particularly clever or thoughtful mood, so for my entry today I am going to post the lyrics to a great song. It's titled "Fuck Her Gently," by Tenacious D. Ya thats right, Jack Black's band. You dont always have to fuck her hard, infact sometimes that's not right to do. Sometimes you got to make some love, and fuckin' give her some smooches too. Sometimes you got to squeeze, sometimes you got to say please. Sometime you got to say 'Hey, I'm gonna fuck you, softley. I'm gonna screw you gently, I'm gonna hump sweetly, I wanna ball you descretely.' And then ya say 'Hey i bought you flowers', and then ya say 'Wait a minute Sally. I think i got something in my teeth, can you get it out for me? Thats fuckin' team work!' What's your favorite posish? Thats cool with me, its not my favorite but I'll do it for you. What's your favorite dish? I'm not gonna cook it but i'll order it from ZANZABAR. And then I'm gonna love you completely, and then I'll fuckin fuck you descretely. And then I'll fuckin bone you completely, but then... I'M GONNA FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU HAAAAAAAARD. HAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAARD It sounds a lot better when you've heard the song, trust me. Another goodie is "Spiderman". I may or may not post those lyrics at a later date. It much funnier as Jack is drunk while performing it. Ah, what an idol. My favorite line is "That's a lotta cum, that way to much SASS cum. Sass a frass... He had him fuckin down and out. He's grabbin' him by the foot, he's getting him in position. I dont know what for, but i think its finger lickin'." Entry for July 7, 2002: I have moved all the old entries to the archived section of this website, for those who care. In doing so, I saw that Falsh has not contributed to this site (rather the old site, seeing as she hasn't added anything to this one at all) since fucking JUNE 6th. Thats a whole damn month. Also, I hope to be adding some photos to the actual photo section of this website. But, you see, its 4:12 a.m, and yesterday I slept from 5am-5:30pm, AND THEN from about 7pm-10:30pm. Thats a lot of fucking sleep. So I should probably attempt to sleep now, in hopes of getting a more regular sleep schedual. This site has become rather boring in recent times, and I apologize for that. It is damn hard coming up with entertaining things for ya'll on my own, without the help of one's Falshinator. Oh it is, let me tell you. But, since it has to be done, I will stick around and do my best. And in doing so, I will tell you all a wee story on my adventure tonight. I hope you enjoy it. I was walking home from a suckassed party, and desided I wanted some food from 7-11 and it's fine selection of healthy, wise food choices. Thing was, I was craving nachos and cheese that you can only get from 7-11, and I know I would look like a retard if I was seen buying them (or at least I would make fun of someone buying nachos and cheese alone on a Saturday night). So I used the HOT washroom there - complete with a squashed roach beside the toilet - and tried to make my escape quick and painless. I had gotten my nachos and was on my way to get a Crispy Crunch but who should walk in but the biggest wigger of them all, Rob Delooze(r). For those of you who aren't familular with the reputation surrounding Deloozer, never fear, you aren't missing much. All you need to know is 1) Yes, sadly I did date this retard for a short period last year, and 2) HE IS A WIGGER (aka wishes he was black, but is whiter than a polar bear). Oh ya, it might interest you to know that he has moved on to bigger (well that isnt too hard) and better woman, who look quite dirty and have children. Man I wish I could be that cool someday. Anyways, back to my story... I felt like such a huge homo, wearing a tank top that my little pot belly hung out of, with my tray of nachos and cheese, plus chocolate bar, all sweaty from walking (even though it was cold out, but I'm a freak), and did I mention I was alone? Gawd, all I could do was smile sarcastically-if there is such a thing- and say hello. I even forgot to remind him that he's white. Fuck. Entry for July 4, 2002: Not feeling well, will add funny, glorious entry tomorrow...or whenever I feel like it. So there...............ha.............ha Ton's Entry for June 30, 2002: I added a few quiz results in the "Quiz" section. I still have to get the ones of Falsh's that we had on the other site. I showed Falsh how to add an entry to the site today...so one can hope. Also, we saw Ryan Doyal today, of the Poopy-Ryan Doyal question-talking fame. Falsh and I had to run away in glee muttering such things as "Defication Domain", "Brown Abode", "Poo poo Palace"...and such. Ton's Entry for June 27, 2002: I don't even know why I bother to write "Ton" infront of the entries. Falsh hasnt ever posted anything on this site. Infact I doubt if she's even seen it more than twice. And that is just sad. From what once was a glorious undertaking on our part has turned into much like the rest of my life...a big, fat, wet, fart. Well well, we came and went from Toronto. Bek-Dawg got her pictures developed, so I might post them if I get the time and motivation to do so. Some of our apparent "fans" keep bitching at me to update this site. Oh my, the pressure to take the boredom from 3 peoples lives for about 5 minutes! Fuck, I've been so selfish! I removed the links to parts of the site with old Dis and Pick Up Lines of the Day, as I thought that was pointless. Much like a condom, once you get your 1 and a half minutes out of it, its no good to you anymore. Ton's Entry for June 20, 2002: There, I updated a few things. I dont even know if people check this friggin site, cause no one ever writes in the fucking guestbook...which I took the liberty of improving today...or sends us any email. Speaking of "us", Falsh is STILL insisting that she is a whore, and has some sort of life. Actually, exams are taking up a ton of time (hee hee I said ton), Falsh has to work, and we are off to Toronto on Sunday for a splendid 2 days of drunken bliss and Ton getting another tattoo. I plan to either get a donkey on my butt (aka an ass on my ass) or a kitten on my twat (aka a pussy on my pussy). Damn I'm clever. Fucking Falsh and fucking studying for exams and thats just FUCKING GAY and so like her to put her fucking education and career and future ahead of such things as this fucking website and fucking whacking off and fucking whoring around with the likes of me and fucking licking my anal jizz and fucking saying "fuck" all the time. I mean, FUCK! Ya, thats right....FUCK. Ton's Entry for June 13, 2002 Well since I'm being ordered to update this puppy every now and then, I choose now instead of then. I guess you couldn't live without hearing of the crazy antics of lil ol Ton now could you. No, no you could not. Falsh will start adding her own contributions soon enough...dont go creamin' your pants over excitment or anything, but yes, thy will be done. Well anyways, time for a tale...but unfortunatly I cant think of one that I feel is of any interest or worth my time telling you, so I will leave that for another day. Please, dont be gay. You will find a man to lay. Bay. May. I wish I had a tray. That will be all for now. The End. Ton's Sexified Entry for June 8, 2002 Falsh is away this weekend, therfore there wont be any entrys from her. This is due to her being a Dirty Whore. Its a 'Dirty Whores R Us' meeting so she will be busy hoe-ing it up. Ton has to come up with something enlightening for you all, all the pressure is on me. oh gawd....oh gawd....anyways, enough of that. Now for a lovely story. I woke up rather late today, around 3:30 pm, and looked out my window to see my neighbours sitting on their front lawn drinking, as usual. I didnt think this was out of the ordinary until I talked to my dad. Pops:Ya, So I went out to garage sales this morning, at about 8 a.m., and Dennis was just starting drinking. And he's still drinking. So basically, Dennis has been drinking all day, from 8 a.m. on (remember its 3:30 in the afternoon by now). Ton:What the fuck? And THEN, Emily went over to talk to Dennis, who then informed her that he had managed to drink a whole two cases of beer himself over the course of the day. At the time I'm writting this, at about 9:30pm, Dennis and his hot family are still boozin' it up across the road... Dennis is so sexy. I want to marry someone just like him when I grow up. Ton's black-pussy-lovin' Entry for June 7,2002 I think everyone should talk in the third-person from NOW ON. For example: "Ton wants to go swimming, where shall Ton go swimming?" says Ton. "Niters don't know where shall swim. Wait! Niter's have idea!" says Niters. "Fuck, Ton takes too long to type," says Ton. "Now Ton is putting words in Niter's mouth," says Niters. "Now Ton is stripping for Niters. Ohhhhhhhhhhh," says Niters. "Get out of my house, Ton wants to be alone with her hot body," says Ton. "Fuck you," says Niters. Ton's Anal-licking Entry for June 6, 2002 Yo to all my bitches and my homies, Oh my. That Falsh needs a talking too...however she will be forgiven JUST THIS ONCE, as she looked quite tired today. But I must explain, yes Falsh can only work on the site when she's at my place, cause 1- She doesnt have highspeed, and 2- Her parents would actually shit their pants if they saw this site. I mean actually SHIT their pants, right then and there. I would like to tell you all a little horror story that I experienced today. Me and my amigos (that being my Dad and Bek-dawg) were driving to pick up Emo at work, and there was a duck in the middle of the road. Well, being as cool as I am, I ran out and chased it off the road. And who happend to drive by but THE UGLIEST, MOST SMALL-HEADED LITTLE TURD ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. It was sick. Made me want to vomit. Seriously. It was that bad. I will be wretching for days as a result. The End. Falshy's entry for June 6, 02 Sorry ton for my lack of initiative, but some of us do not have the privileges of a crazy assed dad. If my parents saw this site, man they'd shit. So I can't really work on this at home, which is where I have been spending most of my time seeing as how I'm cool and everything. I'm going to see the Scarlet Pimp.....ernel tonight. Yay I get to act like a fucking tourist. I HATE THEM THEY'RE SO ANNOYING!!! Ton's Entry for this Dickassed of a Day of June 5, 2002 Yo, I deleted most of the quizzes that we took, cause it was getting obsessive. Falsh was whining that the page took forever to load on her computer...well you know what I say? Get highspeed and a new computer if you have a problem! Its only a couple of thousand, surely you can spare buying yourself a post-high school education for the glories that this site provides people with. What, what does she think that no one comes here?! Fuck they sure do! I happen to know that MY SISTER checks up on it, almost on a daily basis. And people who are over, I make them look at it here as well. THATS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY FALLING ON OUR SHOULDERS. So Falsh, I think you should look at your priorities. Psh. Falshy's entry for June 4, 02 Yes yes sweet ass music night was tonight. Scotty hunny, you should've got musician of the year, you rock! Anyway, that fit of band geekiness has passed. I just took a dump and now I feel sick, so I think I'll go to bed. Night Well Ton was in T. today, and what did my wonderful eyes seek on the subway, but a HOMOSEXUAL COUPLE. Oh my, we simply dont see those things every day in Stratford- but seeing as it is Stratford one would expect you do. Anyways, I was sitting my wee hiney down on the seat and looked across the platform where I saw 2 KIDS that looked about my age with their arms around each other. I thought that was rather odd, as most boys our age dont usually do that sort of thing (or ever would for that matter), but then they started pecking each other on the cheek. How MARVELLOUS. Needless to say, I enjoyed the whole experience immensely. Ton's Slut Entry for June 1, 2002 Ha ha I just want to say that prom was a better than one could expect, even though I still think prom is GAY AS SIN . I hope everyone saw my fusia hair, and Falsh's drunken ass... along with Natalie's SEXY tutu, and Brontman's Saturday Night Fever get-up. I will have to tell you though that I was trying to whore Falsh's drunken ass out in Kitchener (where we went to dinner). I will tell you a tale, I will... Falsh and I went to look for Leapertons, because we lost him- we thought he went for a smoke. We were walking by a Williams coffie place, and a whole bunch of people were sitting outside and started staring at us as we walked by. I dont know at what exactly, but I noticed a few people checking out Falsh...and her ripe ass. Now, Falsh was quite ripped by now, drinking the entire way down. So shes pretty much talking to herself while I turn to a bunch of guys sitting at a table, put my hands infront of her butt and start yelling "YA! You like what you see? You want a peice of that dont ya?! Pretty nice huh?". Course Falsh STILL didnt really realize anything was going on, and kept on chatting away. Wasnt aware of this until I reminded her today. Har-de-har-har. I am thinking this is why I was getting kinda weird looks from a few people when I went in there an hour later to buy a coffee. Oh well...my cats are horney. Ton's Entry for May 30, 2002 Ton sick. Not in mood to lick any ass today. Boring entry. So sorry, will be better later. Eat pee and die. The End. Falshy's entry for May 30, 02 Mr. Klassen is a Nazi. Prom is tomorrow. I have a dog. My hair is red. I have to work at 3. I need corsages. My cat is black. I have to play my solo tomorrow. Mr. Gilbert is a slut. Ton's Anal-Absorbing Entry for Wednesday, May 29, 2002 Bonjour, Nothing too exciting to mention today. As you can tell we've gone a little crazy with the tests. All in good fun. Falsh is allowing me to do the Shout Out today, so lets pray I do a half-assed job...I'm rather high now you see. Fuck, I'm just not funny anymore. What's this world cumming to?? Falshy's entry for May 29, 02 Ton is making out with me. I'll be back later... I gotta go get busy... This be Ton. I would like to comment that yes, I did see Leapertons pant-tent yesterday, and I immediatly attempted to burn my eyes out of my head. So wrong, so wrong...I'm gonna be having nightmares for weeks to come as a result... Ton's Shit-assed Entry for Tuesday, May 28, 2002 Ton is blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasted. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasted I tells you! Soooooooooo sleepy. That would explain my half-assed attempt at the Shout Out today. Falsh will most likely go in an change it on me, and for that, she is a whore. I can state that now. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go lick Falsh's anal beard. Falshy's entry for May 28, 02 Ok, for those of us that happend to be named Nathan R.... no that's too obvious.... N. Rolleman, I'm going to set the record straight. My darling little ton does not have the hots for any boys, especially ones named Tristan. She is a hard core lesbian, now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my ass licking. Ton's Tonnerific Entry for Monday, May 27,2002 What a tonnerful day in the neighbour hood, a tonnerful for a neighbour...will you be mine? Will you be mine? Falshy's entry for May 27, 02 Yeah, that's right, I didn't write yesterday, because I have better things to do with my time like work the corner. Speaking of which, I'm late.... for a very important.... yeah Ton's Boner-riffic Entry for Sunday, May 26, 2002 Allo, Seeing as it looks like no one goes to our damn site anyways, I can write whatever I DAMN WELL PLEASE...well, pretty close to it. I kinda went nuts on Erin's "pita" today, seeing as there was a link on her site stating "Whore's website" and you were instantly referred here. I was quite offended. I was later informed that Falsh and her and I guess some other people had a joke going in Montreal that they were old french whores. However, I dont see how I'm a whore in this whole situation. So that explains me flipping out. Actually, the message that I wrote is actually quite funny, so I recommend that you all read it. http://two.guestbook.de/gb.cgi?gid=589759&prot=tkelra and read entry number 16. Let me know what you think! Write in our guestbook! Or better yet, do what I wrote in the entry and kiss my midget ass! Falshy's entry for May 25, 02 Tonight was my first night at Rumors. I'm a shooter girl. Tip me well. I dress like a skank, brother. It kinda sucked because I had a hotel room with alcohol and a boy waiting for me... so I was kinda antsy... because... um... we were... going to.. play scrabble. Yes scrabble... DIRTY SCRABBLE AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. That is all Falsh's entry for May 24, 02 Heute erhielt ich einen Job an den Gerüchten... Ich noch kann nicht warum oder, aber ich morgen... beginne, den Mittel ich vermutlich schlafen gehen sollten. Steve erhielt mir 12 lange aufgehaltene Roses für unsere 6 Monate und Tonne erhielt ihr Geld! Hahahaha Geld. Gut ist das alles, weil ich ein gehender Zombie bin. Gute Nacht Ton's entry for Friday, May 24, 2002 Nothing of interest to say...except that Falsh was CONSTANTLY groping at my perky breasts today... That is all. Falshy's Entry for May 23, 02 Hoy era bastante bueno. Vi Kate el parecer un gazelle hormonal mientras que ella cantó. Ella también me dijo que ella tuviera una tripa y deseé batirla. Entonces Steve rompió su Colonia después de que el rugbi practique. Ahora apesto como él. Ése es todo para ahora. Adiós Ton's Entry for Thursday, May 23, 2002 I have noticed that we have had 2 glorious visits to our guestbook. Oh joys! I'm so excited that I could crap my pants. Well yesterday Falsh and I desided that for our 19th birthdays, we will possibley have a magical orgie at the Pinery Provincial Park. Falsh's birthday is July 13th, mine's the 18th. If you care to join us, please respond in the guestbook. There is one requirement- you much bring some sort of booze for admittance. And no pants allowed. Also still toying with the idea of going to a strip club on my birthday. I was getting rather EXCITED at this idea...finally an excuse to put my hands down some guys pants. Please let us know which idea tickles you the most. About Us! Hi There! Our names are Julia and Falsh. Julia is a 6'4" red headed super model. In her spare time she enjoys shooting up heroin for that "heroin chic" look, and masturbating. Falsh is 4'9" 198 pounds, and bears a resemblance to Yertle the Turtle. Falsh's hobbies include: bungie jumping, prosituting, and going to other people's family reunions posing as long lost relatives in hopes that some helpless old fart will write her into their will. We hope our page helps you learn more about us and our personal lives, although it is none of YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! Things We're Into: sunsets, ice cream sundaes, walks on the beach, fellatio, anal, orgies, SM, pussy cats, puppy dogs, bondage, fetishes, leprechauns Wednesday, May 22, 2002 Dear dirty, This bullshit is Ton's entry. You are a burnified shithole. Well fuckin' what do I have to say you may ask? That's the fucking question. Well...******* has bug eyes. You are a fuckhead. So god-damn I was sitting here, licking Falsh's asshole this bullshit morning and I thought that I should share this bullshit with you and your sluts. You are a cream-filled cock. And Falsh said "Thy will be done, in accordance with the fucking prophecy". I also (in addition to the fact that you're a piece of shit) recommend downloading "Spiderman" by Tenacious D. Ta ta. -------------------------------- Burned by the Burnmaker! * http://toy.thespark.com/burn * -------------------------------- Wednesday, May 22, 2002 Dear Online Diary: by Falsh Today I woke up to find Steve's dick in my mouth, and Julia licking my asshole. I spat out Stephen's man meat, and the three of us had an anal-licking circle. Shortly after, Julia put on a strap on and started stroking it lovingly. She then took my anal virginity as Steve plugged my poon. HOT! Home |
