3-3-10
Weighed myself this morning. I am not losing weight but gaining it. I am 162.4 pounds. How embarrising is that is merely 4.7 pounds off from my alltime high weight. I dunno what the hell I am doing wrong but obviously I am doing something wrong. I didnt play DDR Monday night and Tuesday night I missed out on the pool because it was so late by the time I came back from review this is rediculous. I have to try and do at least a half hour today of DDR no matter what is going on. It may be embarrising to play DDR while your roomates in the the room but it is way worse to carry your ass around at 162. What the fuck happened a month ago I was 157 I fucking hate this shit. I totally feel off the wagon last night too.
8:40 AM Orange Juice
11:40 PM Iced Coffee – Carmelado w/soy milk
16 Grain bagel with cream cheese
6:00 PM Mozzarella sticks 5 and fries with catchup, 3/4 of a can of coke
8:30 PM Odwalla Vanilla Protein Drink
10:30 PM Water and a handfull of potato chips
This awful hopefully by next week I will get this shit in control and weigh at least 161. What the fuck.
3-1-10
Well I am redoing this thing because I dont seem to do much with it and no one reads it which in this case is a good thing. I cant bear going to a nutritionist again and I hate not fitting into my pants or more specifically the tightness and the belly overhang in the pants area. So I am going to attempt to do something about it and hopefully this time it will stick. The first time I went from a size 14 to an 8, then right back up to a 12 down to a 6 and now I would like to get down to some single digit and stay there if at all possible. Life will hopefully be less crazy after I get out of here so I might as well try now. Today I walked everywhere didnt take the elevator when I normally would be because I am tired or have 3 bags I am carrying around all day. Right now I am starving and that is one of my pet peeves about eating healthy I seem to eat more and be less satisfied. I dont have time to spend eating every 2-3 hrs thats sort of ridiculous. I dunno I guess I will figure something out because obviously I did the last time. To me its like magic when I get skinny I dunno what I did and I try to enjoy it as long as I can because I know I wont be for very long.
This is what I have eaten so far today
10:10 AM Odwalla Vanilla Protein Drink
12:10 PM Burrito with Chili Wrap, black beans, corn, tomatoes, mild sauce/sour cream mix, hot sauce
Ate about ¾ of that.
Had a Minute Maid Orange to go with that also finished about half of the bottle.
We will see what happens later on today. I am starving right now and have 13 minutes to go before I can eat. :(
4:30 PM Iced Coffee – Carmelado w/soy milk
16 Grain bagel with cream cheese
7:30 PM One Cup Pink Lemonade
One Bite Baked Potato Thing
One Slice White Pizza
One Plate of Bow Tie Pasta with Marinara Sauce
4 of 6 Rolls of Veggie Sushi with Teriyaki and Spicy Mayo Sauce, Ginger and Wasabi
Thats like way too much food. Well I still hope to get in some DDR. I will report back tomorrow hopefully.
12-5-09
I realized today as I was sitting on my bed reading a chapter of of my Fennema's Food Chemistry book that I will be a scientist soon. Or at least I'm slated to be. This is a realization that hit me a few years back when I cleaned dishware in and did various other things for a lab as a lab assistant, that this kind of life would now be life for me. I mean ideally I would be doing research but everyone's got to start somewhere.
It was odd as I flipped the pages and recognized equations I had been using all semester in Pchem and wondering if a Food Scientist would understand this things just as well. It was odd to see all the organic chemistry nomenclature a lot of which I had forgotten but if I had taken the time (which I will have to later for studying purposes), I would have probably known exactly what was going on.
Then doubts filled my head, I'm so bored about reading about the same things 4 and 5 times in different contexts do I really want to do this for the rest of my life. But now I realize, yes I kinda do, if I am bored of reading about it its because I have read it before and either read it so many times I know now it rather well, or encountered it and found that I dont really care for it. Either way I will get to go live this life for a while and it is pretty exciting. God willing soon everything that I have worked so hard for will materialize and I will start to remember why I headed down this road in the first place. Maybe then I know true happiness! Doubtful, but Ill be happier. Ha. :)
12-4-09
Well almost two years later, I still hate OWL. Hopefully this is my last time doing it. I am now in Physical chemistry. I am kind of amazed I got this far I guess proud is probably a better word. I don't know if I will keep posting on here after this but I def felt as if an update should be posted.
I haven't been doing much the past couple days but its time to get back to business. I have only a few days left in the semester and one last lab report to hand in for Biochem. So it really is almost over thank god. Lets just hope it goes well. I'd be nice to get outta here and live a somewhat normal life for a while. Since I am me normal isnt something I do lol.
Thats its for now. Off to weekend full of lipids, enzymes, centrifugation, and beta-gal activity concentrations.
Old posts
2-15-07
LOl, I heart Office Space. But yes now that I have gotten that off my chest I can go on and deal with OWL once more, and hope that I don't screw up again and have to spend much more time on it than I really care to. Au revoir!
2-17-07
So I suppose what is pissing me off today is really myself, which really is not unlike any other day except today I'm willing to admit to this problem and try to deal with it along side with learning the concepts of a physics chapter that I should have read a week ago, and facing that fact that I must also learn the trig that I should have learned years ago in order to do the physics problem. Yes, I am still worried sick about whether I am actually going to make it or whether I should even be doing this. But at least I know can be honest about where I stand and how much work it is going to take to actually pull this off.
Sometimes it is overwhelming but I keep telling myself it is better than the alternative, better than being locked up in that apartment with him, being fearful and doubting my every move. *sigh* Drama. Well, hell that is how I feel so if it is dramatic then fine I can live with that. Well, it is almost time to go back do doing homework and getting all that off my chest made me feel a little better. So until we meet again, au revoir.
2-19-07
Links
OMG, I remembered to write 07, this is a very good sign. So yes I must say one thing today, I hate OWL,yes I said it I think I despise it more than SPIRE. What's really funny is that it is totally my fault, because im always in a rush to finish so I get one little stupid detail wrong and then I dont get any credit for the entire page. I would like to look at the bright side and say well look more chemistry
practice but no, after it happens so many times I just tend to get incredibly sick of it.
Hey, thats kind of like Office Space,
"Ok! Ok! I must have, I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. Sh*t. I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail."- Micheal.
So yes, there isn't much to be mad about today. Last night was fun and so far I have gotten a lot accomplished today. I am a little annoyed however and I'll tell you why. I have no control. None. And I totally could have control but apparently I am so used to not being in control that I forgot how to take charge, how to delegate tasks and how to follow through on the things I should be doing. And my emotions are a big big mess and sometimes it gets so bad I freeze and I can't do a damned thing. But like everything else I can only keep moving forward, one step at a time. I'm getting a little bit better everyday at facing my fears and admitting to my weaknesses, I had no idea that it would be so hard, or that it had been going on as long it has.
Its like 1AM so technically its 2/20 but hey who cares. So I spent the entire weekend buried in my physics book, but I'm still worried about the test, and the overdue hw and the lab. I should probably stay up and attempt to finish the lab so I can finally get that off my friggen to do list which never seems to stop growing. Guh. Yea at this point just not looking at it anymore would be wonderful, but I need to sleep too...what a dilemma. Well anyway. Yea, what was I mad about...o I know not being able to get all my work done. I'm kinda in a nothing mood but that is what exhaustion will do to you. Ah, sweet, sweet exhaustion, it is only after your exhausted that you know you have done a sh*tload of work. And usually that is happy smiley time for me but well today, it is just a reflect of how far behind I have gotten, and how much further I have to go to get current, its like hw debt. Very,very bad, especially when scholarships are riding on your GPA, which I totally messed up last semester, due to a myriad of bad decisions and a bout of pneumonia. I just wanna prove that I can do it, and so far, I've been doing a sh*tty job. The saddest part is that I know I can do this
I feel like I haven't tried hard enough or something. I guess well see what happens, back to Physics world now. bu-bye.
