How To Spy On or Stalk Somebody

Places to Hide in The Home

1. Dress in spider costume and sit in bath
2. Dress in spider costume and hang from rope from ceiling in bathroom
3. Dress as toilet brush
4. Dress as toilet duck
5. Dress as victims family member
6. Dress as victims pet
7. Dress as a moth and cling to a lampshade
8. Dress as a Chippendale and swing from the light (preferably chandelier)
9. Hide under rug
10. Lie next to victim in bed
11. Hide underneath bed
12. Dress as teddy and hide amongst other soft toys
13. Cling to underneath of pet dog
14. Hide in fridge, if they open it act natural and hand them their food
15. Paper yourself to the walls
16. Dress as a chair and crouch down
17. Dress as a broom
18. Dress as a cactus in their garden
19. Take all the bones out of your body and hide the cracks in the walls
20. If victim lives near a field dress as pantomime cow
21. If victim lives in desert dress as pantomime camel
22. Cling to ceiling above victims bed
23. Hide in attic and dress as gramophone
24. Hide in attic with a megaphone and pretend to be the voice of god
25. Shrink yourself down and hide in victims cereal
26. Pose as a vacuum cleaner and 'suck'
27. Run yourself over with a steamroller and be a cardboard cut-out
28. Post yourself to victim
29. If it's your victim's birthday hide in cake NOTE* not while it's in the oven
30. Dress as a spore and float
31. Dress as a canary and hide in cage
32. Lie on the floor and hope they don't notice
33. Hide behind lamppost
34. Shrink yourself down and hide in the water works in a small sub
35. Kill yourself and come back to haunt the victim
36. If your victim has a baby dress as clown and hang from mobile over baby's bed while playing psycho carnival music.This will scar the child for life, your victim will have him/her adopted, paving the way for YOU to become their new child. If this fails become he victim's child's evil twin called Damian
37. Dress as a wall and follow them around
38. Pretend to be long lost cousin and move into the spare room
39. Dress as a skeleton and hide in closet
40. Dress as a fiddler and sit on the roof
41. Coat yourself in plastic and pose as a life sized action man/Barbie
42. Turn yourself in an electron and travel through the electrical wires
43. Hang yourself of a coathanger in the cupboard
44. If winter dress as Santa
45. If summer dress as sunflower
46. If autumn dress as leaf and throw yourself of a tree
47. If spring dress as Easter bunny and hop
48. Lie on floor with your limbs out stretch and you mouth open and become a human rug
49. Dress as an egg and sit in egg box in the fridge. If you hear someone making an omelette run (remember to hatch out of egg first otherwise you will be doomed to roll in a circle)
50. Kill yourself and come back as victims unborn child
51. Shrink yourself down and get someone to inject you into victim
52. Hide behind a potted plant
53. Liquefy yourself and be damp on walls
54. Paint yourself black and be you victims shadow
55. If victim is bald shred your self and become their wig
56. Frame your head and hang on wall
57. Be the house

Places to Hide in the Park

1. Dig a whole big enough for your body in the ground, spike your hair and dye it green then jump in the hole and bee grass
2. Dress as a squirrel and call yourself Nutkin
3. Hid in picnic basket dressed as sandwich
4. I a national park, find some sticks put them on your head and pretend to be a deer
5. Hid in or BE litter bin
6. Strap a live duck to your head and submerge yourself in the pond
7. Get yourself a HUGE duck boat and sail on pond making duck noises with a megaphone
8. Cover yourself in pond weed and walk around pretending to be the monster from the black lagoon
9. Be a bush, 'shake' in the wind and call yourself Russell
10. Hollow out a tree and make it your secret fortress
11. Make an intricate system of tunnels with periscopes around the park and live with the moles
12. Cover yourself in feathers, stick ironing boards to your arms and 'flap'
13. Dress as a bear, call yourself 'Yogi and have a picnic
14. Stretch you tongue and be the slide
15. Go on the round-a-bout and spin so fast no one can see you
16. Bury yourself in sand pit (up to head) and put a bucket over your head with ready prepared eyeholes
17. Site on a bench while pretending to read a newspaper with eyeholes cut in it
18. Buy a small monkey and stand playing the accordion
19. Dress as cupid, stand on one leg and spit like a fountain
20. Dress as Mary Poppins while feeding birds with a bag of seed that cost a tuppence
21. Learn how to turn yourself into the elements and become the air
22. Dress as a giant pond
23. Dress as alien and be a visitor from outer space (no one will suspect)
24. Crouch on all fours and be the picnic table
25. Dress as a WW2 soldier, paint yourself grey and become a memorial statue

Places to Hide at Christmas

1. Dress as a cracker and go 'bang!'
2. Dress as a pudding and try and act 'figgy'
3. Dress as a caroller and never leave
4. Tie ribbons round yourself, sit under tree and be a present
5. Stand behind the Christmas tree and every time someone moves around it move too
6. Dress as a turkey and gobble
7. Stand in a huge sock and nail it to the wall
8. Dress as a bell and make 'ding-dong' noises whilst shacking your hips
9. Set your head on fire and be a candle
10. Dress as a snowflake and absail down the side on the house
11. Dress as fairy and sit on tree NOTE* bring cushion
12. Dress as old Auntie Murial and sit in rocking chair
13. Dress as wise man and claim you've followed a star to your victim's house
14. Sit in tree with a flash light and be a fairy light
15. Ride up to your victim's house on donkey with a cushion under your top and claim to be a pegnent virgin with no where to stay
16. Dress as snowman in back garden
17. Dress up as icicle and hang upside down off the windowsill
18. Shrink yourself down and make a home out of a bauble on the tree
19. Shrink yourself down and hide in snow shaker (when shook cling to nearest abject)