Fun Things to Do in Your Car

• Paint the words ‘HELP ME’ in blood red paint on your back window with your hand and see how long it takes for you to be pulled over by the police.
• Drive around and pick up every stray cat you see and put it on the back seat of your car.
• Stop and pray to roadkill.
• Forget to wind down your window in a drive by shooting.
• Employ a life-sized model of a Tyrannosaurus Rex as a hood ornament.
• Enter a stock-car race and insist on towing a caravan around the track. For extra fun your bank manager should be in the caravan.
• Connect your brake lights to your horn so that every time you brake you hoot the car in front.
• Fill your car with helium, stop regularly to ask for directions.
• Play a tape of a human heartbeat very loudly when you stop at traffic lights. Stare at the driver next to you with manic, wide-eyed expression.
• Hook the air bags up to the accelerator so that every time you speed up the air bags inflate a little.
• See how many clowns you can fit into your car with you.
• Pretend your European and try to run over everybody you come across, drive on the pavement if necessary.
• Put a bumper sticker with tiny writing on the back of your car so people keep crashing into you as they try to read it.
• Every time you stop at traffic lights catch the eye of the driver next to you and rev 3 times.
• The bumper sticker should read ‘Please keep your distance’
• Another jolly bumper sticker is ‘KEEP HONKING – I’M RELOADING’. It is only available at Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Halls.
• See how far you can drive in a straight line without crashing.
• If a police officer stops you, keep looking at your watch. Then say ‘How long is this going to take, because your wife/husband is expecting me’.
• Test your driving skills by trying to parallel park in a small space between 2 Ferraris … with your eyes closed.
• Crash.