You Know it’s a Bad Day When…

• Bruce Willis gets into the lift wearing a dirty T-shirt
• When the back your coat gets caught in the tube as your getting OFF.
• When you wake up somewhere official-looking in Saudi Arabia … with a hangover and road cone.
• When you turn up to a party in your normal clothes and then discover it’s fancy dress … but nobody notices
• When a great looking foreign agent thrusts a package into your hands as they’re escaping from a group of gunmen and tells you to bring it to their bedroom that night … nut you lose it.
• You wake up on a cold, metal table with really tall, skinny guys with big heads standing over you and one of them is holding a probe.
• God appears and tells you that you have to travel the world preaching to unbelievers and then crucify yourself. (I hate it when that happens)
• The guy from the Daz advert turns up and tells you you’re live on TV and asks how you keep your whites white and you haven’t got anything heavy to hit him with.
• The computer takes you out of deep freeze early because there's an unknown life form on the ship.
• You have a whirlwind romance, you’re in the middle of the marriage ceremony but, as you’re putting the ring on, you realise he has webbed fingers.
• You wake up in a big pot in some big rainforest surrounded by dancing people with bones through their noses.
• you wake up with a horses head in your bed
• You wake up in nigeria in McDonoulds wearing wellingtons, a traffic cone with a passport in the name of Jock Strapp
• When you don't wake up
• when you realise you've wasted your life
• when you wake up under 30 tons of snow
• when you wake up after an operation and you realise you've had a sex change and you only came in to visist your gran
• You wake up and realise the penguins really did take over.
• you wake up with some red guy poking you with a pitch fork and its really hot
• you wake up in wales
• you wake up in england
• when elvis returns