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Anything for the weekend, Sir?

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own brand condoms but kept the same marketing slogans....?

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better.
Tesco Condoms - every little helps.
Nike Condoms - Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger, licking good.
Minstrels Condoms - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.
Abby National Condoms - Because life is complicated enough.
Coca Cola Condoms - The real thing.
Duracell Condoms - Keeps going and going.
Macintosh Condoms - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Pringles Condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop.
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper.
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide.
FCUK condoms - No comment required.
Muller light Condoms - So much pleasure, but where's the pain?
Halford condoms - We go the extra mile.
On-digital condoms - Plug and play
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex Condoms - Soft, strong and very very long.
Renault Condoms - Size really does matter!
Ronseal Condoms - Does exactly what is says on the tin.
Ronseal quick-drying Condoms - It's dry and waterproof in about 30 minutes.
Domestos Condoms - Gets right under the rim.
Heineken Condoms - Reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach.
Carlsberg Condoms - Probably the best condom in the world.
AA Condoms - For the 4th emergency service.
Pepperami Condoms - It's a bit of an animal
Polo Condoms - The condom with the hole (VERY poor seller)