This is an actual job aplication that a 17-year-old boy submitted to a McDonalds in Florida. They ended up hiring him as he was so honest and funny.
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waithing for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Companys President or Vice President. But, seriously whatever's avaliable. If I was in aposition to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALERY: $185,000 plus stock options and a Micheal Ovitz if thats not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked
AVALIABLE TO WORK: Of course! Thats why I'm applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m., Monday Tuesday and Thursdays.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate enviroment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITION THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU ACHIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE? On the job, no; on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Yes. Absolutly
SIGN HERE: Aries
