Jesus in a Jar... Out and Proud!

Great things To do with Your Jesus

It is the one and only Jesus in a jar!!!!!!!
It's Jesus in a Jar!
He's come from afar!
You can put Him in your car.....
And maybe take Him to a bar!!

And Just what does Jesus do?

~ Well The Divine One has an extensive Porno collection. He just can't get enough of that Pamala Lee/ Tommy Lee home video. He loves to then "wind down" a bit to the high class flick Showgirls.

~ Jesus is a big fan of Beavis and Butthead.. He does the best Cornholio impression I have yet to see!!

~ Jesus loves his South Park, Cartman is his favorite. Randomly He shouts out, " Mom, Kitty's being a dildo!!...", then in a soft feminine voice,"... I know a little Kitty that's sleeping with Momie to-nite!" He always cackles after saying this. Sometimes it scares me..

~ Jesus listens to the music of Nirvana when he is not whacking off to bad porn. (He even has a Kurt poster in His Jar.) He'll close His eyes and kind of rock with the music....sometimes He cries. He refers to Kurt Cobain as "my Younger Brother". Kinda makes you think.......

~ The favorite hobby of Jesus is collecting bondage equipment. It is really funny as Jesus is about 6 inchs tall (He claims this is the best size to be) and His gear is full sized for regular-sized people. Jesus prefers used bondage gear... He sayes it smells better. On a side note... I got Him a set of handcuffs scaled to His size and He leapt up and down for joy.

~ Jesus also has an extensive thong collection. He buys many from the intrenet, and seems to prefer black leather thongs with steel studs. He says he was introduced to these unusual undergarmets by someone he refers to only as "The Thongman Mountie of Canada". I didn't ask Him to elabarate any...

~ As of a few days ago, Jesus is publically out of the closet! (But of course, who couldn't tell anyway? I mean the whole love your brother thing??!!) For his Coming out Party He had me hang this very public declaration of His life style on my dorm room's door. He is a brave Soul!!!

There ya have it folks.... it is a holy holy thing!
Praise Jesus!

Back to Satan!

Jesus's Favorite Sites

Jesus was Gother then You
Jesus Dance
Cheesy Jesus
Divine Interventions (His Favorite)
Jesus hates Stupid Homosexuals like you
Jesus's very own Website!
Dress up Jesus!
Betty the Best Christian Ever!
House of Jebus ( Fun!)
FUBAR=The Hitchhiker's Guide to Jesus
Landover Babtist Church ~ Jesus's chosen Few
Bringing Jesus back.. Clone HIM!
Ask Jesus! For Real!
The Jesus Test! Kill and Ressurect Jesus over and over and over....