Parent Teacher Night script



This script was made by us,The Almighty Tallest!
I, Red, have transmitted it to you!
Well, I was the one who listened to the show for an hour and a half, copying down the words and stuff!
~zaps Purple in the eye with a laser light and smiles~ -The Almighty Tallest

[In classroom]

Ms. Bitters: ... And you, Mary, before the Big Bang, there was NOTHING there! And outside where that squirrel is there was NOTHING! And under your chairs, NOTHING! And by that tree, where the dog is, nothing.
Zim: *groans*
~Zim looks to the clock which will not tick the last second before the bell rings, a bug is seen being squashed by gears inside the clock~
*bell rings*
Zim: *sigh*
~All the kids start walking out of the room~
Ms. Bitters: Don't forget that tonight is parent/teacher night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria.
~Zim stops at the door and looks to Ms. Bitters~
Zim: I never agreed to attend this parent/teacher night!
Ms Bitters: Yes, you did.
Zim: No. You lie.
~Zim flails his arms and makes a face~
Zim: You liiiiiiiie!
Ms. Bitters: Hmmph! ~Ms. Bitters presses a button on her computer and a video screen comes over the blackboard showing earlier today in class~
Ms. Bitters: Zim, are you going to bring your parents to parent/teacher night?
Zim: Yeah, sure, whatever.
~video stops and screen goes back up~
Zim: Why would you tape that?
~Dib is seen putting his books away~
Dib: Putting up a lot of fight for something simple as parent/teacher night, Zim. I bet he doesn't even know what parents are!
Zim: Of course I do.

[Flashback on Irk]

~ A room full of what appears to be red faces that look like this : | are lined all over the wall, one face smiles and turns green, and a claw pulls the face from the wall revealing that it is a capsule holding an Irken child~
~The claw breaks open the capsule, the lifeless child crops to the floor, a backpack of sorts is put onto the child, then a robot arm zaps the child to life~
Voice: Welcome to life, Irken child. Report for duty.
~The child jumps and hugs the arm~ Baby Zim: I love you cold, unfeeling robot arm!

[Back in class]

~Zim is seen hugging Ms. Bitters, reenacting the hug he gave the robot arm as a child~
Ms. Bitters: *growls* ~Ms. Bitters swoops away from Zim's hug~
Ms. Bitters: You will be here tonight, Zim. You and your parents.
Dib: Yeah, see you and your parents tonight Zim. Zim: Yes! Oh, I will bring my parents and they will be the greatest, most parental parents eveeeeer!

[Front yard of Zim's House]

~A make-up sales lady walks up to Zim's house and pushes the doorbell~
*doorbell rings*
~Robo Dad opens the door~
Robo Dad: Welcome home, son!
Sales Lady: Um, oh, is the lady of the house in?
~Robo Mom jumps next to Robo Dad~
Robo Mom: That's me! I'm house lady, brush your teeth!
~Gir is seen walking behind the robo parents~
Gir: *hums*
~Gir stops and looks at the bag the sales lady is holding which reads "Take Make-up"~
Sales Lady: Ummm....mmmm...I'm selling make-up and I just know you'll find something great....
Robo Mom: I said, BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
~Here the Robo Mom pulls out a tooth brush, punces on the sales lady, and brushes her teeth against her will~
Sales Lady: *screams*

[Zim's Street]

~Zim is walking down the sidewalk towards his house when Dib in a thought bubble starts to talk to him~
Dib: I'll see you and your parents tonight Zim!
~Bubble dissappears then reappears near Zim~
Dib: By the way, it's not called parent/teacher night.
~Bubble dissappears then reappears near Zim again~
Dib: It's called Zim doom parent...... Zim doom... Zimmy doom....night *laughs*
~Bubble dissappears then reappears near Zim yet again~
Zim: Huh?
~Zim then trips over a puppy near his house~
~The sales lady breaks free before Zim enters his gate and runs away, Gir following behind~
Gir: No! Wait! Come back! I need stuuuff!
~Zim walks to his door, then opens it where Robo Dad is waiting, Zim then steps inside closing the door behind him~
Robo Dad: Welcome home, son!
Robo Mom: You want some dinner sweetheart?
~Robo Mom smiles and pours a bag of floor onto Zim~
~Zim gets the flour off of him, walks over to his couch~
Zim: What am I going to do?
~Robotic arms from his backpack raise Zim onto the couch~
Zim: I only have a few hours before this parent/teacher thing. The parents decoys aren't ready for that kind of service.
~Robo Mom is seen poking Robo Dad in the head with a spoon slowly~
Zim: Their interactive skills are limited. Unless...... GIR!
~Gir jumps in front of Zim from out of nowhere, make-up is on Gir, and containers of make-up are now strewn across the floor~
Gir: Yes, sir!
Zim: Gir, we have to program the parents to learn human social behavior if they are to join me for parent/teacher night.
Gir: Yes, sir! Right away!

[Zim's underground lair]

~The robo parents are in chair that are hooked up to many T.V.s that transfer all information to their brains onced turned on, Gir is seen near the T.V.'s, and Zim is hooking up the parents~
Gir: Ooh! This is my favorite show!
~Gir runs to a different T.V.~
Gir: Wait, no, this is my favorite show!
~Gir runs to another different T.V.~
Gir: Look! It's my favorite show.
~Now a commerical is seen on the T.V. Gir is referring to where a man is walking down the street, an x-ray is now show of the man when his spine breaks~
*sound of spine breaking*
Man on T.V. 1: AHHHH! MY....SPINE!
~The man falls to the ground and flops around, Gir now looks to a different T.V. when a show comes on showing a monkey standing there looking at the camera~
*flies buzzing on T.V.
Gir: I love this shooow!
Zim: No Gir! The robot parents must learn proper parenting from this video program.
~Zim shows Gir a tape which read "Proper Earth Parenting" and puts it into a V.C.R., which makes the video pop up on all screens~
~Zim walks away towards the door to his landing pad for his elevator, Gir lays down on a wire and closes his eyes~
Gir: *moans happily*
Zim: Make sure they watch the entire video, Gir! The fate of our mission depends on it.
~Zim leaves the lair by elevator, Gir opens his eyes and watches the T.V.s~
Woman on T.V. 1: We sure are proud of our little boy.
Man on T.V. 2: We sure are!
~Gir, now bored with the video changes a couple of the T.V.s to different channels, now seen is a lady holding up pants with grass stains~
Woman on T.V. 2: Are you plagued by grass stains?
~Now seen is a guy who just ate a burrito~
Man on T.V. 3: I like burritos, but they sure don't like me!
~ The word "Diarrhea" splats onto the screen~
~Now seen is two women with great hair~
Woman on T.V. 3: Who does your hair?
~Now seen is a blank red screen~
Narrator on T.V.: We return to our movie in progress "poke *karate sounds, screams* of doom!"
~As he says this the words "Poke of Doom" appear on screen~
Gir: I love this shooow!

[An hour or two later on Zim's elevator landing spot]

~Robo Mom and Dad are seen waiting here~
Robo Mom: Are you ready dear?
Zim: Yes!
Robo Dad: Well then, we ought to be on our way.
Zim: Yes!
Robo Mom: We sure are proud of you, son.
~Robo Dad leans forward~
Robo Dad: We sure arrrrrrrre.
~Robo dad's eyes look in two different directions~
Gir: I love this shooow!

[School cafeteria]

~Dib and Gaz are seen walking in with a video screen of their dad, Professor Membrane following close behind, they walk to Mr. Elliot at the other side of the cafeteria~
Mr. Elliot: Hey kids, your dad! I never knew he was a floating head!
Dib: Oh, he's not. Dad's just really busy and he couldn't be here in person. He's transmitting live from his lab across town.
~Mr. Elliot kneels near the two~
Mr. Elliot: Hey, my dad was like that too, you know. I understand.
~Mr. Elliot stands to face the video screen~
Mr. Elliot: It's nice to meet you professor! I'm Mr. Elliot, your daughter Gaz's teacher!
Gaz: *groans*
Proffessor Membrane: I'm sorry, but I am very bust right now, we're testing some highly unstable....
*glass breaking*
~Proffessor Membrane looks to his right~
Proffessor Membran: Hah! No! You have the mixture all wrong!
~Mr. Elliot is seen standing there looking unchanged as a large mushroom cloud from an explosion across town appears in the window behind him~
*explosion, sirens*
~Proffessor Membrane's screen goes staticy, then displays the words "Please Stand By"~
*elevator music sounds*
~Zim enters the cafeteria with Robo Mom and Dad, they walk to Ms. Bitters who is near a group of adults~
Zim: *clears throat* These are my parents, I love them with all my heart. I must have punch now!
~Zim goes for punch, Robo Mom and Dad go elsewhere, and Ms. Bitters turns to the semi-circle of adults~
Ms. Bitters: When you were my students, I said you'd amount to nothing, and I was right! You're NOTHING!
~Zim is seen by the punch bowl, Dib, Gaz, and Proffessor Membrane come up behind him~
Dib: Hello, Zim.
Zim: Dib.
Dib: Dad, there is someone I want you to meet. This is Zim, you know, the alien! Proffessor Membrane: So, where is the little green boy from? Zim: Yes, yes, that's fascinating.
~Zim runs away, comes back, knocks Dib's drink onto himself, and runs again~
Gaz: *snickers*
~Zim is now next to a boy named Billy, Billy's brother, mom and Ted, his dad, and his Robo parents, Billy's and Zim's parents are conversing about their children~
Zim: So, what's goin on?
Billy: My mom won't shut up about me! It's really embarrassing!
Billy's brother: At least she's not showing the pictures.
Billy's Mom: Ooh, and you just gotta see these pictures!
~Billy's mom brings out a wallet with an accordian picture holder full of pictures, she points to one~
Billy's Mom: Now, here's Billy crying for being kicked off the soccer team for crying to much *chuckles*
Billy: *cries*
Robo Mom: Grass stains sure are tough to get out of those soccer uniforms.
Robo Dad: Sports aren't everything. I'm sure your boy will find something he's good at.
Ted: That's true. Hey! Try one of these cookies. My wife made them.
~Ted offers Robo Dad a plate of cookies~
Robo Dad: Thanks Ted!
~Robo Dad takes one and eats it~
Robo Dad: *gags and goans*
~Robo Dad looks down and grabs his stomach, Ted looks disgustedly at him~
Robo Mom: Oh no, honey is it.....?
~Robo Dad looks up~
Robo Dad: Yep..... DIARHEAAA!
Robo Mom: i have just the thing for that!
~Robo Mom takes a cup of punch and throws it on Robo Dad, then he shorts out and rolls into a wall, Robo Mom looks to Billy's mom~
Robo Mom: Who DOES your hair?
~Robo Mom starts poking over and over in multiple places~
Billy's Mom: AH! AH AH! AH, my head!
~Most of the cafeteria look to the moms~
*loud gasp*
Billy's Mom: *continues screaming*
~Zim walks up to Robo Mom~
Zim: Mom, I think we should go home now!
~Robo mom stops poking Billy's Mom and turns to Zim~
Robo Mom: Don't tell me what to do, young man! You go to your room.
~Robo Mom picks ZIm up, drops him in the punch bowl, then runs after Bill'ys Mom, Zim gets out of the punch bowl drenched and Dib throws his punch on Zim~
Gaz: *snickers*
~Zim makes a face and points at Dib and Gaz, then runs to Robo Dad who is smashing himself into a wall~
Mr. Elliot: Hey is your dad feeling well?
Zim: Yes, he's perfectly fine.
~Robo Dad's arm shoots off and lands wiggling at Mr. Elliot's feet, then Robo Dad falls into a sitting position against the wall~
Mr. Elliot: *screams*
Dib: *chuckles*
~Dib points to the scene taking place~
Zim: Nothing to worry about. My dad lost his arm in uh... the war!
~Robo Dad kneels~
Robo Dad: That was my squeezing arm! They took my sqieezing arm! Why my squeeing arm!?!?
*screams*
~Robo Dad falls forward~
Billy's Mom: *screams*
Billy's Brother: Quit pokin my mom in the head!
~Zim drags Robo dad to where Robo Mom is poking Billy's Mom's head~
Zim: Look mom we really have to go. Please now, please!
Robo Mom: Honey
Zim: Yes! And I want to go home!
Robo Mom: I know what'll cheer you up!
~Robo Mom and Dad start to riverdance, Dib sips his drink and eats his doughnut smugly watching Zim & Robo Dad and Mom, Dib then points at them~
Dib: Look, everyone! Look!
~Everyone else in the cafeteria is seen looking at Billy's Mom in a circle around her~
Woman helping Billy's Mom: Can't you see that this woman is suffering from severe pokey trauma?
~Dib looks dissapointed, then looks back to the riverdancing bots again~
Zim: Mom, Dad, I think I've broken my spine! MY SPINE! *screams, heavy breathing*
Robo Mom: Aw, honey. I think it's time we took you home.
~Zim looks happy, then triumphantly looks at Dib, Zim then looks surprised as the Robo parents bring jets out in front of the whole cafeteria, but they are all looking at Billy's Mom, finally the parents jet home with Zim out a window~
Dib: Nobody saw that, right?
~throws down his punch angrily~
Man: Hey! That kid's throwing punch!
~The crowd turns to look at Dib, Ms. Bitters hurriedly takes dib aside~
Ms. Bitters: *growls*
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