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Rantings 7-9

Rant 7: Fake People
Fake people get under my skin so much! I hate it when you will be around a person by yourself and they are a wonderful person, and then when you are with that same person but there are other people around, they are completely different. It really sucks because even some of the people that you really think you know are like that, too. Travis is really like that. He will probably read this and get mad (hey Travis) but it's the truth. When it's just me and him he's wonderful, but get anyone else around and.. well he's not cocky or anything and he doesn't try to show off like I know a lot of guys do, but he just changes. I don't even know if I can explain it. Well like, I know he cusses, his whole family does. It's just like no big deal. But he knows I don't like it so when I am at his house, he yells at his little brother if he cusses and says something like "Don't say bad words. That's bad." And I know he doesn't mean it, so what's the point, ya know? If he's going to say something he should do it all the time, not just when I'm around. Even if it is for the good, fake people are fake people.

Rant 8: Me, Myself, and I
You know, I like to say that I don't want to be like everyone else, a part of me really doesn't. But it's hard to live in the society we live in today and NOT worry about the pimples on my face and the size of my chest and what my hair looks like. The media is always shoving this picture-perfect image of what a woman is supposed to look like down our throats until finally everyone starts believing that to be reality. How many people do you REALLY know that look like that??

I am always saying that I don't care what people think, and that I don't want to be like everyone else, but I think deep down I do. This is the first time I've ever admitted it to anyone, to myself included. I hate the thought of thinking that I sometimes envy these blonde cheerleaders who can get any guy they want. If you were to come up and ask me right now if I was jealous of any cheerleader that has ever lived, I would quickly give you an emphatic "NO!" But I am sometimes.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing my tough-girl image. That must be what it is. I just wish I could ne honest with everyone AND myself. I mean, I don't want most of those girls' attitudes. Most of the ones I've met think they are God's gift to this world. I don't want to be like that. Ever. I'm just saying that it would be nice once in a while to have people think I was beautiful and talented... That's all.