Alright, I’ll catch him, but you have to sleep with him.
...But I’ve been disrobing in front of him for years. Why would he ask you out when he’s seen the promised land?
-Blanche (to Dorothy)
So what we’re saying here is you’re a virgin? Oh God... This brings out the artist in me.
-Blanche
Well I wasn’t going to tell you who I was going out with because I thought it would hurt you... Now I
know that’s a plus.
-Dorothy (to Blanche)
To an old guy with cataracts, you two look like French Stewardesses... old age can play a lot of cruel
jokes.
-Sophia (to Blanche and Dorothy)
Well if she has a boy, she can name him after his dad... Bob, Joe, Rick, Dan, Don.
-Sophia (about Blanche)
I’m sorry, it’s not my fault... My cousins have been marrying each other for years.
-Rose
Let’s get crazy... We’ll get Chinese food and eat it with forks... We’ll pretend it’s one of our birthdays and screw em out of a cake.
-Rose
Today I realized what a relationship is... A relationship is more than just sex and videos and good
times... Thank God This Isn’t A Relationship!
-Blanche
Well that was a particularly active time for me... I just had my teeth bonded and I was looking stunning.
-Blanche
You aren’t looking at the obituaries are you? I want to make sure my canasta game is still on for
tomorrow night.
-Sophia
I was the butt of all kinds of jokes growing up. Actually it ran in the family... In our kitchen, we
had one whole wall covered with “kick me” signs.
-Rose
Like your phone is really ringing off the hook... You’re the only person who ever got a refund on call waiting.
-Sophia (to Dorothy)
There are two things in this world a Sicilian knows... When pasta sticks to the wall, it’s done; When a body sticks to cement, it’s dead.
-Sophia
Ya know... My family had a few dollars and I loved them dearly, but when you get right down to it, they were trash.
-Blanche
Don’t worry. You didn’t do anything wrong... well, technically. Nothing that would hold up in a court of
law, anyway.
-Rose (to Dorothy)
I think I'll just go to my room... take a couple aspirin... turn out the lights and... wait for the voices.
-Rose
You aren't going to use Blanche for your own sexual favors and then throw her out like yesterday's garbage, are you? It would really help me out.
-Sophia
Beat it you 50 year old mattress.
-Sophia (to Blanche)
He's such a liar. He has a really big mouth... Which reminds me... I better go give him a call.
-Blanche
Doctors... what do they know... they spend twenty years in medical school and they still don't know enough to warm their hands before they do a breast exam.
-Sophia
You weren't born in St. Olaf. It's not your fault you're chronic, two-faces liars.
-Rose(to Dorothy and Blanche)
I know the prescription for me... one of him every four hours.
-Blanche
Better late than pregnant.
-Blanche
Back off, Blanche. Not all of us are classified by the Navy as a Friendly Port.
-Sophia
