God made us family.... but Prozac kept us friends!
My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work.
Some families can trace their ancestry back three hundred years but can’t tell you where the children were last night.
Every family tree produces some nuts.
Spare the rod and spoil the child--that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.
A child’s back must be made to bend, but not be broken. He must be ruled, but not with a rod of iron. His spirits must be conquered, but not crushed.
The worst danger that confronts the younger generation is the example set by the older generation.
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
Children need models rather than critics.
You cannot catch a child's spirit by running after it; you must stand still and for love it will soon itself return.
You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going!!
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
God gives us our relatives-- thank God we can choose our friends.
