Teh Randomness!!

I've devised a plan, a particularly evil plan at that. You see, I get people that call me occasionally that I really don't like. So first, what I'm going to do is build a "Blast Box." You see, what this is, is a phone that takes any sound that goes into it, say an airhorn for example, and amplifies out the other end. Ex girlfriends that I don't particularly want to talk to: Airhorn blast that makes them drop the phone, and hopefully break it so they won't call me for a while. Telemarketers: Airhorn blast straight to their eardrums because they use headsets. I'd like to see how they would deal with that little diddy. People that call me up asking to borrow stuff that's not for them but rather for someone else that won't call me and ask me personally for whatever reason: Airhorn blast (this blast is also interchangeable with a shouted NO! into the phone)! Maybe that will teach you to call me for something other than shit you want/need. I swear the next guy that calls me up asking if I can get them thus and so crack for this or that program, forget the airhorn blast, I'm going to walk straight up into there house and start beating them with their gimp computer. Yeah, you heard me, I'm going to lift up the computer and start bashing it against their skull. At least say Hey! Did you hear that Cartoon Network is going to show The Big O season 2 soon?

Oh yeah, if you haven't gotten the memo yet, people are idiots. Who in their right mind would go see a shitty movie like Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life?

"But it has Angelina Jolie!! SHE HAS BOOBS!!"

Ok, that's great Skippy, we've now just established you have the mentality of a horny little 12 year-old that just found his dad's porno stash. Life and movies aren't all about T&A. The only movies that should be about that is porn. And besides, what's the last good movie about a game you've seen? Exactly, they all suck. Resident Evil wasn't even about Resident Evil, and what game it was sopposed to be based on, if any, I have no clue. The Spirits Within? Do I have to pull up the fact that TSW was the sole reason that Square will never do anything in the movie business again?

Now I'm not saying that I want to see every game-movie fail, it would be really nice to see one that's good. But, if I live to see it, I'll be a really old dude with a plastic hip yellin' at kids to get off my lawn while hover cars are flying around above my head.

By the way, it's 2003, where's my damn hovercar anyway? Wasn't that sopposed to be here in 2000?

Oh yeah, if you haven't noticed, Teh Randomness!! isn't flashy. No backgrounds, only black text on white background. If you have beef with that, well, I'm sorry but I already mentioned that people are idiots earlier. But on the bright side, you get nifty little Icons that tell you what might be in the article before you click it. Except for the AO logo, that wasn't real creative. I just kinda threw that one on there because I didn't want to make an icon myself. Meh, I'm lazy.

Oh yeah, to all the idiot directors that think it's a good idea for the scared screaming school girl to run UPSTAIRS in a building where she will inevitably be trapped because she CAN'T FLY, knock it off already. Do something original. Have her run OUT of the house for a change. Can you handle that? Honestly, you are trapped in a house with a deranged killer, or I just knocked on your door, either or, what's going to be the first thing to cross your mind? "I gotta run upstairs out to the roof and on top where the killer/Adam won't get me!" OR "Quick, let me get out into the street where I actually have some space to run away, and possibly scream for help, besides the toolshed is always out there so I can grab a weapon if I need it!" It's called "Common Sense." All together now class: "Common Sense."

Well... if it was me knocking on your door you would probably be safe on the roof... I'm lazy and scared of roofs anyway :P