Convicus Humorus


Funny conversations inspired by abosolute boredom...
HeinousGrl: Arrrr matey! chips ahoy!!!!!!
HeinousGrl: :)
B1gPnis: you would be the lamest pirate ever
B1gPnis: you don't even have scurvy

decadence18: *bangs head on desk*
decadence18: i know
decadence18: wait, i should bang your head on the desk
decadence18: *bangs your head(on desk)*
B1gPnis: if you can manage to materialize things from pixels.. you would revolutionize the porn industry

spunky emo grrl: i hate biology. taylor, will you shoot me?
spunky emo grrl: i leave everything i own to you in my will
spunky emo grrl: i will*
B1gPnis: really
B1gPnis: even your virginity?

Jag22487: it has to have a talking toilet
Jag22487: like the japanese have
B1gPnis: a hole in the floor?
Jag22487: will it talk?
Jag22487: c'mon man
Jag22487: you can dub the voices
Jag22487: "i am pleased to accept your waste"
Jag22487: "I AM PLEASED TO CONSTANTLY PAY ATTENTION TO AND ONLY TALK TO YOU, TROY!"
B1gPnis: wow.. you have low self-esteem
Jag22487: :-P
Jag22487: thats damn right

neonStreet15: i have a great idea for a tv show
B1gPnis: ok
B1gPnis: and that is?
neonStreet15: it's called showdown
neonStreet15: and it puts a couple who is expecting a baby against each other, and wqho ever wins get to decide if they have an abortion or keep it alive

toymachine1k: where you been?
B1gPnis: spanking
toymachine1k: shhhh parents around
B1gPnis: ohh.. in that case.. i was jerking off... if you catch my drift ;-)
B1gPnis: there.. i used cryptic language
toymachine1k: shhhh
toymachine1k signed off at 4:01:57 PM.

neonStreet15: are you going to the dance
B1gPnis: no
neonStreet15: sweet I won 20 bucks
B1gPnis: .. why is that?
B1gPnis: were you betting on me?!!?
neonStreet15: yes but only because it was easy money
B1gPnis: fucker
neonStreet15: hey you would have doen the same

neonStreet15: you know those pop ups for the spy camera
B1gPnis: yeah
neonStreet15:they say it's for all these non-sexual things and yet they have the sexy girl, as if you could take a peak at somebody like that
neonStreet15: it
neonStreet15:'s like almost porn and very evil
neonStreet15: we need to make a commerical like that only we have this really fat guy in nothing box his boxers and he eats so much pizza he gets a stomach ache, and he sounds girly and he starts slapping his stomach and moaning and then we have another camera of a guy in the next room up nect to the wall beating off to what he thinks is some chick only it's a fat guy slapping his gut from too much pizza

decadence18: i get so much pussy budweiser wants to put a billboard on my dick
B1gPnis: your trying to hard to get on the convo page now... even though i'm still adding this like a hypocritical bastard
decadence18: i know

Auto response from spunky emo grrl: cleaning the kitty litter :P YUCK.

B1gPnis: :-(
B1gPnis: eww. .your cleaning it with your tougne !?!?
spunky emo grrl: NO. lol
B1gPnis: damn
B1gPnis: that would have been hot

neonStreet15: when whould you say it's too soon to have sex with a dead person
B1gPnis: when the body is still warm
B1gPnis: then there almost living
B1gPnis: i would say .. about the time there fingernails and hair stops growing.. then you can fuck them
neonStreet15: eric had the best line to that
neonStreet15: he said I don't touch anything thats under six months dead
B1gPnis: hah

decadence18: are you hungry?
B1gPnis: yeah
decadence18: because i have to take a shit
B1gPnis: hahaha
B1gPnis: we can kill two birds with one stone

neonStreet15: I wish you didn't undertsand the concept of mirrors
B1gPnis: why is that?
neonStreet15: it would be funny you could be in the bathroom
neonStreet15: and see some guy and say back off guy I don't swing that way

STRATUSBIT: i drank 2 pints of bacardi o plus a blunt
B1gPnis: well.. if you 'drank' a blunt .. then you must really be fucked up by now

decadence18: ::anal rapes you::
B1gPnis: :: laughs as he remembers the mouse trap he cleverly placed in his rectum :: ... take that

Xx84metallica84x: hey have u evert mailed ally ur dick so u gusy could have sex or whatever??
B1gPnis: no... it slipped threw the cracks in the envolope

Xx84metallica84x: i dont know im not a really into cheese flavored dicks
B1gPnis: for the last time... i have syphillis on my cock.. not cheddar
Xx84metallica84x: hahaha
Xx84metallica84x: WELL IT STILL TAKES LIEK CHEESE

Xx84metallica84x: i dditn ask for a duet
B1gPnis: sorry
B1gPnis: stage hog
Xx84metallica84x: im also a penis hog
B1gPnis: true
B1gPnis: never get in a threesome with you
B1gPnis: your a greedy bitch

STRATUSBIT: there's a girl that didnt work out before and she want to be friends
B1gPnis: ohh
B1gPnis: rape her
B1gPnis: :-)
STRATUSBIT: nah
STRATUSBIT: she hot but nah
B1gPnis: .. um.. i was joking.. the fact that you honestly considered it scares me

B1gPnis: women are objects
decadence18: if i were near u, id kick you in the nuts
B1gPnis: if i could.. i would sure save money on dominatrixes

BBFace113: yo bitch im back.
B1gPnis: don make me buss a cap in yo azz
BBFace113: oh please do, i heard it feels good.
BBFace113: j/k!!!!
B1gPnis: um.. i said bust a cap in your ass... not bust a nut in your ass...?
DanielleLgh: i think its time for a new computer
B1gPnis: what are the specs on yours now
B1gPnis: (nerd lingo)
DanielleLgh: lol
DanielleLgh: and you know i have no idea
B1gPnis: yeah
B1gPnis: i just felt like flexing my dork muscle
DanielleLgh:trying to make me feel inferior are you?
DanielleLgh: well, i bet i know more about something than you
B1gPnis: no ( yes )
B1gPnis: :-)
DanielleLgh: im not sure what, but theres gotta be something out there
B1gPnis: hah
B1gPnis: mm.. female anatomy
B1gPnis: i'm sure you could beat me on that one
DanielleLgh: lol probably not ;-) im sure you've seen it more than me
B1gPnis: hahah
B1gPnis: yeah.. your right.. i have seen you naked more than yourself

B1gPnis: you want her... i can see it in your eyes
B1gPnis: and your pants
B1gPnis: but mostly your eyes

neonStreet15: I hope you die
B1gPnis: then i will come back as an evil spirit
B1gPnis: and haunt you
neonStreet15: go for it, I'll eat your soul
B1gPnis: psch.... fat bitch
neonStreet15: souls are like celerly it's like eating negative calories
B1gPnis: hah
B1gPnis: you should go on a 'soul diet'
neonStreet15: drink Diet Soul
B1gPnis: ... for the vampire on the run

neonStreet15: is the bio homework hard
B1gPnis: no
B1gPnis: the questions are sub-standard
B1gPnis: 6th grade shit
neonStreet15: which mean
B1gPnis: you should have a hard time with it

Xx84metallica84x: butima so angry
B1gPnis: is that some kind of hindu god?
Xx84metallica84x: but ima*
B1gPnis: right

B1gPnis: talk funny to me
SweetblueXOXO: how>?
B1gPnis: i don't know
B1gPnis: be spontanious
SweetblueXOXO: lool
SweetblueXOXO: well i like cheese on a stick
B1gPnis: that sounds like an STD

toymachine1k: get eq
toymachine1k: thats how u can really tell its me
B1gPnis: i had a dream the other night that was based in 800x600 resolution
toymachine1k: well i dream 1078x986
toymachine1k: or something like that =)
B1gPnis: ohh.. how i loathe you....

Sk8PrInCeZz029: r u still going out with allie?
B1gPnis: yeah
B1gPnis: you?

Sk8PrInCeZz029: i love u
B1gPnis: i love myself too... frequently

decadence18: http://end.at/karma
B1gPnis: do you think i need a link?
decadence18: no
decadence18: i didnt feel like dragging my mouse all the way over to the internet icon
B1gPnis: hah
B1gPnis: so you sent yourself a link.. that is truly sad

decadence18: i love it when people die from cancer
decadence18: my cousin did
decadence18: cancer = ratings

neonStreet15: soon i will cum pure blood, becoming the object for all gay vampires
decadence18: wow, hes gay
decadence18: i love the 'dont look' flash
decadence18: lmao
decadence18: shit, he's jerking off to the beat of one of the song im listening to

B1gPnis: if man is five, and the devil is six, god is seven..... .... .. what is algea?
B1gPnis: a fraction i would assume?

B1gPnis: if i cant get the ladies when i'm alive
B1gPnis: at least i can be satisfied as a cadavre
decadence18: yeah
decadence18: i want to volunteer my body as a sex toy to necropheliacs

STRATUSBIT: wut is it
B1gPnis: a funny little birth defect
STRATUSBIT: ok
B1gPnis: birth defects make me laugh.. they are like gods way of saying "He isn't as good as you"