Anime Fans: Still Nerdy Retarded Losers After All These Years

I want to set the record straight. I don't actually hate anime as much as I act like I do. I just like acting like I hate anime because it pisses off anime nerds. I just hate all the anime on Adult Swim, not because they are anime, but because they are shit. Also, I hate anime nerds. I hate everything about the anime fanbase. I hate anime fans' delusion, I hate that anime is the biggest fucking fad ever, I hate how obsessive anime nerds are. If you thought I was all out of things to hate about anime nerds in my first anime article, you're wrong buddy! Break it down.

Anime fans are stupid because when they see an anime they don't like, like Pokémon, they say "that's not really an anime". How the fuck does that make any sense? Anime fags are too delusional to admit that there is an anime they don't like, so they actually convince themselves that an animation from Japan is not really an animation from Japan. Comic book nerds, movie nerds, TV nerds, no other nerds are as delusional as anime nerds. Go ask a sci-fi nerd what sci-fi sucks, and he'd probably tell you. Anime fags can't name an anime they don't like, because they are stupid delusional nerds. (Also, it's worth noting that Pokemon is the best anime ever, including FLCL and all the Miyazaki movies.)

Also, anime fans say dumb shit like "anime aren't really cartoons". They make bullshit points like "cartoons are for kids and anime isn't really for kids so it's not a cartoon". Do they even know what "cartoon" means? Have you ever heard a Star Wars nerd go "Star Wars isn't really a film"? No, because every fanbase in the world has more sense than anime fans.

The biggest problem with anime is the fans. Anime fans are obsessive nerds. Anime is like drugs for nerds. They just can't get enough of it. They spend all their money on anime DVDs, and they still demand nothing but anime be shown on TV. Just go to Best Buy and look at the anime shelf, they have every anime show on AS and every show that nerds want to see on AS. It's not like being an anime fag is a challenge at all anymore. It used to be that if you wanted to watch anime, it would be a task. Now, you just turn on Cartoon Network and you get all the unedited anime you want at your disposal. It's just a big fad. Being an anime nerd is like being a POG nerd, there's nothing special at all about it. Anime nerds ruin everything. They can't just waste their own lives on anime, they just HAVE to find a block of awesome intelligent unique comedy shows and gay it up with their bullshit japanimation.

The sad thing is, anime used to be good before fags ruined it. If you read my article about old Cartoon Network, I said that old Cartoon Network was so good, even the anime was good. That's because there were no anime nerds back then. DVDs hadn't been invented, therefore nerds couldn't waste all their money buying that shit and becoming nerds. All anime on TV was edited down to child standards, and I didn't care. Because it ruled. Every episode of every anime on TV in the early-mid 90's had the same plot: A monster comes; teenagers save the day. That's it. No boring philosophical bullshit, just entertainment. That's what's good about animes like Hamtaro and Pokemon, animes that anime nerds hate. What's wrong with wanting to watch entertaining fluff over boring feigned-intelligent bullshit?

You know what ruled about Sailor Moon? Fucking Sailor Says. It kicked ass. That was always the best part of Sailor Moon. The end of every episode would have a voiceover of Serena telling a cliched moral that had absolutely nothing to do with the episode you just watched over a few animation shots looped over and over. It ruled. Nowadays, anime nerds wouldn't stand for that. They'd cry and shit themselves for hours. What ruled about old anime was how it was edited. It was edited to the standards for five-year-olds. Lesbians were turned into cousins, a gay person was turned into a masculine girl, etc. It gave the show a charm you don't get with shit like FLCL. Anime nerds today have to ruin anything. And since anime fags make up most of Cartoon Network's ratings these days, CN gives into any of their demands. Shit, I'm kind of surprised Cartoon Network hasn't started playing anime in Japanese with subtitles.

The main problem with anime is the fans. Anime is just a cartoon. That's it. And like all cartoons, some are good, and some (in anime's case, almost all) are bad. Anime fags just need to realize that there's nothing special about anime other than that it's from a different country. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Three's Company is better than anime.

(Special thanks to Doug and Admiral Tailz for some of the jokes in this article.)