Title: Shards -- Final Shard
Author: Granitite Stone, granitite@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: If they were mine, would I be writing fanfiction?
Rating: NC-17
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive
Website: Choose Your Poison at my sister's site, who's nice enough to host my stories. https://www.angelfire.com/weird/cobalite/index.html
Author's Notes: This is an ALTERNATE ending to Strange Bedfellows. What occurred at the end of "A Picture Says A Thousand Words" was not a dream, or anything of the sort. This story was written for two reasons. Marshall and AJ are so fun to torture, and I couldn't decide which ending I liked better. So, I present Shards, which is not a happy ending, just a different one. Also note that for the first time, Marshall will be referred to as Marshall in this story.

This chapter is based on a vague remembrance that I read Marshall moved into a new apartment recently. If I’m wrong, go with it. It's fiction. Assume he couldn't live with the memories. Also, the release date for 'Without Me' was pushed back a week, and I lacked the proper motivation to finish this. I apologize.

And now, the thank yous. First of all, to my wonderful beta, Sailor Twilight. This wouldn't have turned out so well without you. To my fans that I bug constantly: BizzyChiick, Xanpet, Yuki Shiro, and Warrior Beaver. To the ever so patient Lipstick Traces, who lets me bug her about not only my stories, but her own.

Thanks to: Dmangelstar, Hiligaynon, White Cat, Sadistic Skunk, Crazy Devilish Angel, LilMissShady, Nikki James, PandaBear487, DJ Vapid, Ravenblack, Melinda, Sailor Faith 55, Nadine, BonesLadyLovely, Athena2693, Surge BSB, Nerexia James, Josh, Lil' Dizz, Payton, twiztid_chrissy_420, Zans Girl, Likklekim, and Angel Baby from fanfiction.net

To the people on the Eminsync list who graciously let me post this: Myoshi Carree, Sunshine and Chocolate, Lady Loki, Fic4ever, Caryl Perna, Ranger1rg, Tammi Porter, Sammymc, and Champagne Supernova. I'm probably missing a lot of your wonderful people's names, especially the ones who personally emailed me. Well, if I forgot you, I am very sorry. Email me again, (grins) and I'll add your name.

To my regulars: Tenshi No Megami, XfliZzX, Fangrlwlotsofideas, IloveHim, ViolentRabbit, Mudgurl647. I love all of you. It's the people like you that made me continue this, and it's people like you that will guarantee that this isn't over. I have at least three side stories in the works…

And now… the long awaited Final Shard
____________________________________
He felt like he'd really been in a car crash. "Marshall."

'Love is.'

AJ wandered into the living room, dropped his mother's address book into her lap. "At least you never lied to me. I'll give you that."

"What?" Denise was paging through the book.

"We were never friends." He turned the frame around so she could see it. "It was more than that. Right under my nose the entire time."

"Alex…"

"You knew I was looking for him. You knew how lonely I was!" AJ wanted to scream. "How could you do this, knowing how broken I am! And I'm not blind, this must be just as hard on Marshall. How could you do this to us?"

"He asked me to." She could see the confusion in AJ's eyes, covered by those sunglasses. "Sit down, baby. I'll try and explain."
-----
"Marshall, I still think you should call a lawyer." There was bruising all over his stomach. Gerri was concerned.

"No." He put a shirt on, wincing a little. "I can take care of this."

"Are you…and he.." She rolled onto her stomach on the bed looking at him. "I mean, the very idea's ridiculous."

"You think too much, Gerri." He buckled his belt. "Don't worry about Alex. I can handle him."

"Says the rapper with the bruises on his belly." She grabbed his arm. "To most of the world, he's AJ and you're Eminem. What's with the first name business?"

"It ain't your business." Shoes, under the bed. "You're a good fuck, Gerri, but don't think this is more than that. In my entire life, I've only cared about three people. One of them doesn't give a fuck about me anymore, the other forgot all about me, and the third is my baby girl. I'm not looking for some god damned grand romance. They end badly. With blood on the floor."

"Is that a threat?" Her fingers inched towards her blouse.

"No. It's a warning. This is not a romance, okay? I was told to get a girlfriend, you sat down next to me at the pool." He grabbed her shirt, and tossed it to her. "Now you wanna keep this going, that's fine. I've never refused a beautiful woman who wanted to fuck me, and I'm not gonna start now."

"You're really starting to scare me, Marshall."

"I'm going home." His hand touched the doorknob. "I've got bigger problems than some bitch who thinks I'm fucking a Backstreet Boy."

"I'm sorry."

"Think about it, Gerri. What would I be doing with someone like him?"

"I… I'm sorry. You're right. It's ridiculous." Gerri managed a weak smile. "I mean, even if you were like that, why AJ McLean?"

Why? Why was easy. No one else had ever loved him that much.
-----

The door was locked, but AJ wasn't going to let that stop him. There was a whole slew of keys on his ring that he had no idea what their purpose was, and one of them was marked with one of those rubber identifiers. It was a key he'd obviously used a lot before the accident. But never after. Until now. It fit in the lock and twisted easily. 'And this would be… what's that called, corroboratory evidence?'

He slowly entered the apartment, without making a sound. He could hear noise coming from the kitchen.

Now, Marshall always hadn't been a rich man. Which meant he could boil water with the best of them. If… he could find where the moving company had unpacked his kitchen. Most of his silverware had ended up in the storage closet, and Marshall didn't even want to think about where his underwear was- probably on e-bay. Half in half out of the cupboard he looked in vain for something he could boil spaghetti in. Totally alone. Or so he thought.

"Marshall?"

He sat upright, quickly, smacking his head on a shelf. "FUCK!" Blood dripped down his forehead. "What the hell are you doing here?"

AJ didn't say anything, just grabbed a rag from the counter and tossed it at Marshall. "I want answers."

Pressing the cloth to his forehead, Marshall gave his patent scowl. "What makes you think I'm going to give you any?"

"A picture says a thousand words, Marshall. Especially the one in your entry way." AJ allowed himself a smirk. "Your movers really fucked up. I bet no one was supposed to see that. Especially me."

"Fuckers. Knew I should have hired my own. Can't trust Dre's secretary. Bitch is still mad she had to call half the hotels in Mexico." He pulled the cloth away, his cut still bleeding. "Get out of my house, Alex."

"It doesn't work that way." AJ sat down on the floor next to him. "See, I came here for answers, and I'm going to get them."

"I don't have to tell you anything." Fuck, it hurt. And Marshall wasn't thinking about the cut. He had to get AJ out of here. Before he did something he wouldn't regret.

"How did it happen?" AJ was edging closer. "I want to know how it happened. How we happened."

And in that moment, Marshall decided to make their relationship sound as wrong as possible. "You wanna know how we happened? You want answers? Fine. Get your ass off my floor and I'll tell you."

AJ followed Marshall into the living room. "So?"

He sat as far away from AJ as possible. "You wanna know? I'll tell you. December 1999. You were drunk off you ass, and I was so stoned I'm lucky I didn't OD. You took me back to your hotel room and I fucked you over one of those minibars you're so damned fond of. That, Alex, is what we are."

"You're lying to me."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"What We Are. Love, what is love?" AJ watched Marshall's expression fall as he quoted. "Fuck, don't ask me, I couldn't tell you."

"Stop it."

"But what I do know is, I love him."

"Stop it!"

"Which one of us wrote it, Marshall? Huh? Which one of us wrote something that meant that much?"

"Shut up! God, can't you just leave me alone!" He hadn't cried in more than a decade. He wasn't going to do it now. "Do you know, do you have any idea what you did to me? What it was like, coming home, and seeing you being carried out on a stretcher? Knowing if I hadn't decided that maybe it was okay to keep you, you wouldn't be missing a big chunk of your life?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Please." Now how long had it been since he'd said that?

"Marshall," AJ rose from his seat, and came and knelt next to Marshall's chair. "I can't… not know. I have to know."

Why did he always have to sound like that? Like sex. And look like he'd wanted this for so long. "You couldn't just leave well enough alone. I got you shot, Alex. Do you understand? You'd be a hell of a lot better off without me."

"No, I wouldn't." His fingers brushed his scar. "Maybe I got this, but according to my mother, whose never wrong by the way, you also saved me."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You threw me out of a hotel room, once upon a time. The next day I ended up in rehab." AJ was leaning in closer. "What happened then?"

"This isn't your first bout with amnesia." He really should move. Get as far away from AJ as possible. "Now will you leave?"

"No, I don't think so." AJ was practically in his lap now. "I'm sort of…comfortable right where I am."

"Well, I'm not." AJ apparently took that as an invitation to get closer. "Just…go, a'right?"

"Nope." And then Marshall was being kissed like he hadn't been in months. Finally, pulling back, breathing hard, AJ asked, "So, can I stay?"

He didn't answer, just pulled AJ's mouth back to his own. Fuck the consequences. He wanted this.

AJ managed to draw enough air into his lungs to speak. "I'm gonna take that as a yes. Where's your bedroom?"

"First door to the left." Marshall was dragged to his feet and down the hall. "If you're going to manhandle me, could you at least wait until I got my clothes off?"

"If you'll hurry up, I might consider it." AJ pulled off Marshall's t-shirt. "Rot In Pieces?"

"And you say I talk too much." Marshall worked AJ's belt open and pushed him down onto the bed, tugging off his jeans. "Just do me a favor. Shut up and enjoy the ride."

AJ nodded nodded mutely, then shivered when Marshall licked his 69 tattoo. No wonder he'd gotten it. The thing might as well be wired directly to his dick. Eventually, that tongue went lower. When it traced the vein on the underside of his cock, he couldn't stop the moan. Yeah, he'd had sex since the accident, but never with someone who knew how to play his body so well. Well, he wasn't going to lay here and take it, as appealing as that sounded. He gripped Marshall's shoulders and pulled up, so they were face to face. He kissed him again, gently this time. 'If I'm never going to get it all back, I'll just have to memorize him all over again.' It didn't sound like a bad idea.

AJ tongue pushed into his mouth, and Marshall retaliated in kind. 'If I'm never going to have this again, I'm gonna make it worth the pain.' One hand twisted in AJ's short hair, the other reached for his nightstand. Lube. He pulled away, flicked open the cap.

AJ broke his vow of silence. "You got a condom?"

Now wasn't that an unexpected twist. He didn't remember when they'd stopped using them, (at least with each other) but it had been a while ago. Thinking about it, it was probably a good idea. They'd both been fucking around these past few months. His hand drooped back into the drawer and fished out a condom. He handed it to AJ wordlessly.

AJ looked at it for a moment, tore open the wrapper, and quick fingers rolled it down Marshall's cock. Blue eyes closed, and he almost hissed at the contact. "Fuck."

"That's the plan." AJ licked at Marshall's neck.

Pushing AJ's shoulders flat onto the bed, Marshall shoved a pillow under his waist. "I told you to shut up."

"I'll be good. I promise."

The sex being good had never been a problem. Marshall reached for the lube and got his fingers wet. "You done this since the shooting?"

"Not on this end." AJ decided that what Marshall really meant was 'don't speak unless you're spoken to.' He didn't like that. "And I'm not too great with the shutting up thing."

"Give it a shot. My lawyer says it would do me a world of good." His fingers found that tight little ring of muscles, and slid inside. God, had it really been… four months since he'd had this? Four months without Alex?

AJ's eyes slid closed. God, did that feel good. In his own mind, he's done this a few times, but… most of them seemed to revolve around the walls of alleys. It had never been like this, slow and gentle. 'And no one told you, no one told you what you'd had.'

After all this time, AJ had tightened up like a vice. Marshall slowly worked at it, getting him loose, aching to be inside. Yeah, he'd probably always miss Alex, and he'd ended up more fucked up because of him, fucked up enough to be sleeping with this shade of him, a man with his face but none of the memories. Marshall told his brain to shut up and he twisted his fingers.

AJ's hips bucked up. "God. Do that again." Sparks, building inside him. He could see them. They were pretty…And then, the fingers were gone. "Marshall?"

"Shh." He kissed AJ again, one hand out of sight, dipping back into the lube, adding to the lube already on the condom. Pain had never been part of this. He pushed in, slowly, listening to the low sound AJ made.

"Marshall…" Oh yeah. A quick fuck in the alley was nothing compared to this. A smooth glide that pushed right against his prostate. And the sparks were back. AJ liked the sparks. A slow, careful rhythm was developing. Marshall was panting hard in his ear.

He'd missed this… Missed touching Alex, missed fucking Alex. And he would only have him for tonight, he was sure of that. AJ would have satisfied his curiosity, and this would finally be over, for real. But at the moment, none of that mattered. He had AJ's body, hot and tight surrounding him, and a voice that sounded right whispering things to him. He picked up the pace a little, starting to want release, even if it meant the end.

AJ let his eyes drop closed. It felt good…. The warmth was slowly creeping up from his toes, engulfing him from the bottom up. Fire consuming him, he made a strangled sound and came. Floating down slowly, he could still feel Marshall moving inside him. This time, the sounds were desperate. AJ pulled him back down for another kiss, stroking the back of Marshall's neck as he pumped franticly. He could taste the groan Marshall made when he came, feel a burst of warmth through the condom.

Marshall let his own eyes close, collapsing over AJ. Then, he thought better. He didn't want to be woken up when AJ snuck out. He rolled onto his side, back to his bedmate. He was surprised when AJ curled up against him, and drifted to sleep wondering why someone who would obviously be leaving soon would be all cuddly.
-----
He had the worst headache. How had he managed to get so dunk he'd forgotten getting there? Cursing himself, Marshall took note of his surroundings. The light was on next to the bed and… 'Oh fuck, not again.' Someone was in bed with him, and he had no idea who it was.

And then, the flick of a lighter, and the smell of burning tobacco filled the air. 'No. No. Tell me I wasn't that stupid!'

"Your head still hurt?"

He was that stupid. "Yes."

The light turned off. "Sorry. So… got any plans today? I wanna delve into my past."

"Just go, a'right? Don't feel like you have to stay. I want you to leave." He buried his head under a pillow.

"Nah. I'm not going anywhere." AJ reached for an ashtray. "I have a message for you."

"What?" He was tired, his head hurt, and he wanted this imposter out of his bed.

"From my mom. She said the two of you talked, the day they shut the machines off. You said something to her, and left before she could answer. I'm supposed to tell you, If it comes back, it's yours forever."

Now why the fuck did he have to say things like that? Sound so like Alex, when he wasn't, not anymore? It wasn't really fair.

AJ pried the pillow off Marshall's head, and leaned forward, hot breath on his ear. "Guess who's back, baby?"

The End

After almost nine months, it's over. I feel like crying. And I'm sure some of you are crying. I tend to do that to my readers. Again, I thank anyone who has ever read this, or is planning to. I will come back to this someday, but in the meantime, there's nothing to stop all of you from reading A Change of Face.

Well, what do you think? Questions, comments, and concerns about my sanity should go to granitite@yahoo.com
Choose Your Poison at www.angelfire.com/weird/cobalite/index3.html 
~ When I look into the mirror, and see a face I don't recognize, I am no longer surprised.
AIM: Granitite2001