Title: Comfort
Author: Granitite Stone, granitite@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: If they were mine, would I be writing fanfiction?
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Brian defended AJ at the VMA's. Based on the account posted on the lists, and a suggestion from This_Is_Wrong.
Summary: AJ reflects on all Brian has done for him.

Before Brian got married, he'd lived with AJ. After a while, he'd started get annoyed at the looks Brian gave him when he sent his dates home in the morning. He'd just ignored it, until he heard him arguing with Kevin one morning.

"I don't want to hear about this anymore, Brian. It's AJ's life, it's his business who he sleeps with." Kevin sounded like they'd had this argument before.

"Well I'm sorry if I think it's wrong he brings home every Tom, Dick or Harry he meets at a club! Do you know what it's like for me to have to watch that?" Brian's voice came loud and clear through the thin walls.

AJ's eyes narrowed. He'd never figured Brian for a homophobe. 'Screw you, Rok. It's my life, and I'll do whatever or whoever I want.' He was glad when Brian moved out.
----
Howie poured AJ into his bed at about three AM, seriously annoyed with his friend. "Dammit, AJ, maybe I had plans tonight other than babysitting your drunk ass."

He tipped up his sunglasses. "Sorry, man. Should've told me. Would've brought Nicky with me instead."

"Who do you think I had plans with?" Howie roughly tugged of AJ's shoes. "Sober up. We have an interview to do in four hours."

"Howie, how come Brian doesn't like me anymore?" AJ slipped under the covers. "He hates me because I'm gay, doesn’t he?"

"Brian doesn't hate you." Howie assured him, and turned out the bedside light. "AJ, you need some help. This is getting out of hand. Do you know how long it's been since I've slept in my own room, or someone else's besides yours?"

"I don't need help."
----
"We need to talk about your drinking, AJ." Brian had been sitting on the foot of his bed when he woke up, and refused to leave.

"I sent Howie to Nick's room. I wanted to talk to you alone." Brian had a determined look on his face. "AJ, we love you. All of us. We just want what's best for you. Drinking yourself into oblivion is not a good idea."

"Love me?" He grabbed his sunglasses, and put them on. "You've been so wrapped up in Leighanne, I'm surprised you can remember the words to our songs. And when the hell did Howie take your place as Nick's best buddy?"

Silence, and then Brian spoke. "It's been a while since you've been sober, hasn't it? If you paid more attention, maybe you would have noticed."

"Noticed what?" Brian leaned over and kissed him. AJ swallowed. "Oh."

"You missed something else too, but now isn't the time to talk about that. Please. Get help."
----

"What if I want another kiss?"

"No."

"No?" AJ was a little disappointed.

"Not while you're still drinking." Brian walked away from him.

-----
While he was in rehab, Brian called everyday. Sometimes AJ talked to him, sometimes he didn't. AJ spent a lot of time trying to figure out how he'd never noticed Brian's was a marriage of convenience. Just two friends helping out each other's careers, and making nice for the cameras.

The fans had rallied behind him. Surfing the web while drying out, he'd been amazed how many of them had known or at least suspected something was wrong with him. He was flipping through endless sappy romances when he found a story eerily paralleling real life. Panicking, he was about to call management when the phone rang. "Morning, AJ."

"Brian, thank god you called." He looked at the web address. "I need to call the Firm, get this web site pulled."

"Why? Where are you that it got you so upset?" AJ told him the web address, and Brian laughed. "Don't tell me your this wired because someone slashed you. You think the fans don't know that with five guys who sing and dance as well as we do, at least one is going to be gay?"

"Slash?" AJ whimpered. None of what Brian was saying made sense. "Brian, this girl has our conversation almost word for word! Why aren't you more worried about that?"

"They know us better than we know ourselves, AJ. So maybe she's really close. It only means she's one of the ones who can get into our heads." Brian was still laughing.

"She's a teenage girl, how did she come up with this?" He was skimming over the sex scenes, trying not to get hard over the phone. Brian's voice in his ear wasn't helping.

"You never thought about two girls together?" AJ didn't know what to say to that.

By mistake, he'd discovered RPS that hit a little close to home. Those stories, among other things, had helped him come to terms with what was happening between he and Brian. What ever that was.
----
It wasn't long until Kevin pulled him aside. "Are you sleeping with my cousin?"

AJ slowly turned around in his makeup chair. "Are you going to hit me if I say yes?"

"Probably not. I just want to make a few things clear." Kevin sat down across from him. "I don't think you know how much you've hurt Brian over the past few years."

"Hurt Brian?" AJ didn't remember ever laying a finger on Brian, but then again, he didn’t remember a lot of things.

"He's had a huge crush on you for years. He never said anything because for awhile, it was always girls in your bed. Then, it was a string of guys, and he thought maybe he had a chance. But you never sat still long enough for him to tell you, and eventually he told me he didn't want to be another one night stand." Kevin's face clouded with anger for a moment, then cleared. "You be good to him, you hear me? He was hung up on you for a very, very long time, and it's going to really mess him up if you decide something better is coming along."

"I wouldn't do that to him. He's my friend."

"He'd better be more than your friend, or I will hit you."

"I never… I mean, what were the chances that two out of five guys would be gay?"

Kevin smirked. "Two?"

"Don't tell me you're…"

"Not me. No, I think I'll let Brian drop this bombshell." Kevin left AJ alone with his reflection.
-----

He spent about a week trying to figure out what Kevin meant, before asking Nick. If any of them were gay, it was Howie, and since it seemed like they were the inseparable pair these days, Nick would probably know.

"Nick, I want to talk to you about Howie."

Nick set down his gameboy and actually let out a sigh of relief. "I was wondering when you were going to find out. Did Brian finally tell you?"

"Kevin told me. Now that I think about it, it's kind of obvious."

"It's the crosses, isn't it? I mean, I told him people were going to notice. And let's not forget poor Kevin. With the four of us going at it, he must be wondering what hell he's doing in a boyband." Nick laughed, until he noticed AJ's jaw resting on the floor. "AJ?"

"You two are?" AJ's voice squeaked. No, no, he must have heard that wrong.

"What did you think Kevin meant?" Nick wondered if he'd broken AJ.

"I…" AJ swallowed. "Okay, I can deal with this. I can. Be good to him, Nicky, or I will severely hurt you."

"I was just about to tell you the same thing about Brian. Let's just agree not to hurt the other guy's best friend, okay?"

"Yeah." AJ was almost about to leave, when something occurred to him. "If you and Brian are both gay,"

"Why aren't we with each other?" Nick sprawled across the floor. "We were, for a while."

"What happened?" Because if two people as close as Nick and Brian couldn't keep it together, what hope did the rest of them have?

"We were both in love with someone else. Do you know how weird it is to lie in bed after hot sex with your best friend and dish on your crushes?"
-----
It had been a little more than two months since he'd come out of rehab, and he hadn't felt this alive in something like forever. Without he cigarettes, his voice was better. His energy shot up to where it had been when he was a teenager.

Of course, now he had a new problem. He'd gotten Brian on the brain. He hoped only a few hundred thousand people had noticed him call Nick by Brian's name during the telecast from Dallas.

Tonight, he'd been flying high. Not even having the award they presented go to Outkast brought him down. Then he'd seen what Jamie was waving around at the end of the runway.

The disgruntled look Outkast gave him (and suddenly, he was liking them a whole lot more) and the boos from the audience were the only thing that kept him from breaking down onstage. As soon as the cameras were turned away, he started crying.

Brian wrapped him in a hug, stroking his hair, kissing him gently. "Shhh. He's not worth it." He frowned when AJ wouldn't stop crying, and passed him to Howie. "Take care of him for me, D. I need to go have a word with Mister Foxx."

When the host came back on stage, media trailing behind him, Brian was waiting. "You are a moral-less ass, aren't you?" He took the bottle, and threw it against the concrete floor. "You're lucky that crowd doesn't lynch you. You leave my friends out of your sick jokes."

The reporting crew started clapping as he walked out of sight. It didn't matter that tomorrow everyone would knew he'd blown up at Jamie Foxx. The fans would understand. He met up with the guys outside. "Let's go. We've got a show to do."

"Thanks, Rok." Their fingers threaded together. "So, how much makeup is he gonna need to finish the show?"

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Brian pushed him into their limo.

Comfort. He didn't need that bottle anymore. Not as long as he had Brian by his side.

END