YOUR FRIENDS KEEP TELLING ME
I BEAR A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO SOMEONE YOU USED TO KNOW
BUT BABY'S IT'S ME
SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME "FLO"
AND I WOULD HOPE
THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THE DECENCY TO
LET ME GO
IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY

And why, when I said my last name was Finn, did Xander just get this annoying smile on his face, and his girlfriend giggled, and asked me if I was Irish. That Anya girl, she’s a strange one too. She comes up human on my scanner, but she acts like a two year old sometimes. Then again, I couldn’t even tell Hostile Seventeen was living with Giles until I went into drug deprivation.

BUT YOU KEEP REASSURING ME
TELLING ME TO JUST QUIT TRIPPING ON IT
AND MAYBE ITS ME
I GUESS THAT I SHOULD PROBABLY GET A GRIP ON IT
"BUT" ITS HARD TO DO
EVERY TIME I SEE THAT TATTOO
OVER YOUR HEART
IT AINT RIGHT I CANT EVEN LOOK AT YOU

And why, does Buffy have a tattoo on her shoulder? I’ve seen the same one on Giles, but all she’ll say is it’s a bad memory, and mention Ethan Raine. Then she’ll say avoid the subject, as if she’ll give something away about herself. Something she doesn’t want me to know.

WHY YOU DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING
YOU SHOULD BE DOING WHAT YOU WANT
WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING
SHE'S THE ONE YOU WANT

And sometimes, I find pictures, of a dark haired man, always clinging to Buffy as if she were his last lifeline. There all dated, and starting just after her seventeenth birthday, this man disappeared from her life for almost a year. Then, somehow, he’s in her senior prom photo. I found a battered book of poetry, with an inscription, Always, but the name below was smudged.

FLORENCE IF YOU HEAR THIS WONT YOU
COME AND TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BACK
SHE'S BEEN CALLING OUT YOUR NAME
EVERY TIME WE’RE IN THE SACK
SHE'S BEEN A MESS SINCE YOU'VE BEEN APART
SO FLO IF YOU HAD HALF A HEART
FLORENCE CAN YOU HEAR ME
CAN YOU HEAR ME FLO
FLORENCE CAN YOU HEAR
CAN YOU HEAR ME FLO

I think his name is Angel, because that’s what she says in her sleep. And I wonder how he could bear to leave her, because I’ve only know Buffy for a few months, and already I know I don’t want to live without her. But I get this sinking feeling that I’m just here to fill the void in her bed, that space HE should be filling.

WERE BEEN GOING FOR A WHILE
BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE
SHE DON'T EVEN SMILE
AND I THINK ITS A CRY FOR "HELP"
AND I WOULD PRAY
THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY
TO TAKE HER AWAY
IT AINT RIGHT SHE DON'T BELONG TO ME

And her friends, the Scoobies, as she calls them, they look at me like the plauge. Anya, ever blunt says that Buffy doesn’t belong to me, and the sooner I relize that she won’t ever love me the better. Of course, then she started ranting about how if she still could, she give me botulism, and that even in another reality, Buffy’s heart belonged to another.

WHY YOU DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING
YOU SHOULD BE DOING WHAT YOU WANT
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE YOUR FOOLING
SHE'S THE ONE THE ONE YOU WANT

The scar on her neck, she’d had it since we met. Willow told me most vampire bites heal in a few weeks. I didn’t ask Buffy about it, because I’m not sure she would have told me the truth, so I asked Willow. All she would say is it was Faith’s fault. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you have to be a vampire to cause a giant scar on someone’s neck?

FLORENCE IF YOU HEAR THIS WONT YOU COME AND PICK YOUR GIRLFRIEND UP
SHE'S BEEN TALKING IN HER SLEEP AND I THINK I'VE HAD ENOUGH
SHE'S BEEN A WRECK SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AWAY
SO FLO IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
FLORENCE CAN YOU HEAR
CAN YOU HEAR ME FLO
FLORENCE CAN YOU HEAR

CAN YOU HEAR ME FLO
FLORENCE CAN YOU HEAR
CAN YOU HEAR ME FLO
FLORENCE CAN YOU HEAR
CAN YOU HEAR ME

I love the Buffy she shows me. The others, and this mysterious Angel, they love the real Buffy. I bet they even know the plural of apocalypse. Okay, so she’s not exactly calling me Flo, but I keep waiting for her to cry out Angel while in my arms. And when it happens, I won’t say anything, and she’ll think it was just in her head. I won’t say anything because there’s so little I know about her. Because I don’t even know if there really is an Angel. Maybe he’s just a figment of my imagination. So why does Willow feel this compulsion to play her Smashmouth CD every time I wait in their dorm for Buffy? Why is her five CD mixer programmed to play Flo, then Uninvited, and if I’m there long enough, Building A Mystery? So why do I feel like I should read this diary she accidentally left her, and look for any references to an Irishman named Angel?