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July 2001
When we last left Bob, he was wondering why the entire episode was centered on the supporting cast. To further add to his confuzzlement, there was very little exposition to go with his being rescued. All he knew about this new dimension was that he was going to a city called “Erichsville,” the town where his saviors from D.E.U.S. X. Machina lived. Otherwise, everything else seemed to be in order. There was Joe, the lovable blonde rogue always ready with a wise crack. Walking next to Joe was Ni, the beautiful, brunette genious with a temper. Hiking behind the two was Zab, the bitchy ponytaled girl with a penchant for kicking butt. Bringing up the rear was Bob, the lovable idiot of a hero, and Carl, the fellow travel from another dimension who was shell-shocked because of said travels. Carl still was a little overwhelmed from the trip, for he was still muttering vaguely about Lenin and Trotsky.
As Joe and Ni somehow managed to make out and walk at the same time, Bob motioned Zab over with a flick of his head.
“Hey, Zab, there hasn’t been one of those exposition-foreshadowing thingies yet. Since Joe and Ni are...um...busy, could you do it?” Bob asked, fully expecting to be beat up. To his surprise, she agreed easily.
“Okay. It would be a good idea to get it out of the way before we get to Erichsville. Let’s see...Erichsville doesn’t really have any major problems, like an evil insane ruler, so we were taken a bit aback when a hero from another dimension (HFAD) showed up. That’s the reason your rescue mission was so badly planned. I’m not quite sure what your task will be so you can go
back home. It might just be a mistake. We’ll see, though.
Erichsville is a fairly large city with all of the modern conveniances. There’s a “Cheapo-mart,” “Toxic Hell,” some burger places, and a mall. Most of the D.E.U.S. X. Machina people hang out at the Ping-Pong Hallë. The Ping-Pong Hallë is a combination pool-hall, ping-pong arena and bowling
alley with lots of big tables and chairs.
“The most extraordinary thing in Erichsville’s history is that it JUST POPPED INTO EXISTANCE! There are three legends that attempt to explain this feat. The first, most believed theory, is that two dueling library books cast enough magic to spontaniously create a town. The second claims a bald man named Billy-Joe left out a can of SPAM from which sentient life, and the city, grew from. The third, most disputed theory, is that a bunch of guys wearing yellow hats came and built it."
“There is also an ancient legend that states a hero by the name of Bob shall come to Erichsville, solve the riddle of the town’s origin, and save Erichsville from UTTER DESTRUCTION!”
Zab paused for a minute to catch her breath. “Of course, that’s not foreshadowing or anything.”
“Of course not,” Bob replied wryly. “I wonder when that hero will arrive...”
"Hey Zab...Are there any Communist groups in Erichsville?” asked Carl from behind.
She paused to think about it. “No...I can’t say that there are...”
“Excellent,” Carl exclaimed. “As soon as we reach Erichsville, I shall start an underground Communist movement. And aquire a cheese dog.”
Joe, using impeccable timing gained from years with D.E.U.S. X. Machina, stopped making out with Ni long enough to stop the group with an outstretched arm. With cocky smile on his face, Joe turned around to face the group, and extending his arm behind him to the almost but not quite teeming metropos that came into view as they stood on top of a hill.
“Well, here we are...Erichsville!”
Why did Carl become a Communist? What is the origin of Erichsville? Who is the hero called Bob that will save Erichsville? How do Joe and Ni walk and make out at the same time? How will Bob fair in Erichsville? Only one way to find out... in BOB WEEKLY!
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