Cory's Greatest Hits (Short Winded Version)
1977 I'm born in Lewiston, ID on April 20, 1977.
1978 I turn one.
1979 My brother Joel is born.
1980 The 80's start, and Mt. St. Helens blows up.
1981 I start preschool.
1982 My first crush.
1983 I discover word puzzles; Grandpa Bud dies.
1984 I do the enrichment class thing; Reagan is re-elected.
1985 I hear rumors about moving from Lewiston to Wenatchee.
1986 I move from Lewiston to Wenatchee.
1987 I turn ten. Another rite of passage: "summer" camp.
1988 Middle school starts.
1989 Dating: a new concept.
1990-2001 Lots of cool stuff happens. I'll elaborate later.
An Condensed History of Myself (Long Winded Version)
1977
I am born in Lewiston, ID to Scott and Josie Calhoun at approximately 3:18am. I live in Clarkston, WA (just across the Snake River from Lewiston) for a while, but I don’t really remember it since I hadn’t yet developed more enhanced memory capacity. That would come later.
Not only do I have the two parents, but a bonus set of grandparents: Jess and Evelyn (on the dad side), Beuna and Bud (on the mom side). Bud’s not my biological grandfather, but he’s cool. All living in Wenatchee, WA, where my parents grew up.
Born on the cusp, I’m a knotty twist of both Taurus and Aries, and thanks to my April 20th birthdate, I have the distinction of sharing a birthday with Hitler, and perhaps worse, Joey Lawrence. Whoa. On the up side, any “dude” who would card me at the supermarket years later would note that my birthday is 4-20. Whoa indeed.
1978
I turn one. I’m on such a roll. The everpresent odor of the Potlatch paper mill in Lewiston is second nature. Dad works at Potlatch as what I would come to call a “computer man.” And he still is.
1979
My brother, Joel, is born. As I understand it, he is named not after, but rather for, Billy Joel. I may be wrong, but for all I know, I may be right. The comic duo of Cory and Joel begins.
This is also the first year of some of my earliest memories, mainly of relatives. I remember pretending to be a clown with some contraband lipstick belonging to my Grandma Evelyn, as well as the mad-but-trying-not-to-laugh rebuking by my mother. Good times.
1980
With only three years of the 70’s under my belt, a new decade decides to begin. I also notice that I have a dog named Brandy, a shelty-collie mix.
The Empire Strikes Back comes out, but I don’t really notice. Mt. St. Helens explodes, sending massive quantities of ash billowing through northwest skies. I sleep through the whole thing. It was a very good year.
1981
I begin preschool in the basement of the YMCA in Lewiston. I remember my teacher Mrs. Schneider, and thought how funny her name was. There’s some photos of me at school that I remember more than actually being there. Huh?
I start to become aware of friends of the family, in particular the Jones family. There’s this older girl named Julie, and another girl who’s my age, Lisa. Good kids, though the like to tease their cat. Whatever.
1982
The big five. I start kindergarten at McSorley Elementary. It was quite the year; I was not only introduced to the subtle nuances of bus rides and milk-and-graham-cracker breaks, but finally learned to color inside the lines. I also remember trying to get into E.T., but it was sold out. My lifelong obsession with getting to movies way early begins.
By now visits to relatives in Wenatchee, including the grandparents, happen once or twice a year. My cousin Amy (my mom’s sister’s daughter, one year my senior) have taken a shine to calling Grandma Buena “Grandma Turkey.” I think I started the name when I refused to eat some vegetable soup. Ah, kids. Despite the name, I always thought how cool it was to have two grandparents’ houses I could visit.
Most of all, I develop my first honest-to-God crush on a girl: Tricia MacGalliard. Tricia, if you’re reading this, sorry if I made you blush.
1983
1st grade begins, and so does my fascination with wordplay. My parents always read to me, and I took a very early interest in word puzzles and games, which leads to the wordplay freak I am today. The Jones’ have another daughter, Katie.
By now Grandpa Bud has died. The first time I’m ever confronted with death. I was too young to really know him, and too young to be sad. But it did seem important to me, even then.
1984
By now I’m doing the Enrichment class thing and have my own little circle of friends. Katie and Lauren and Ben from Enrichment; Pat from up the street; Mike and Marshall from other classes. And of course, Julie, Lisa and Katie. Lisa develops an unhealthy obsession with the movie Beastmaster, which she watches on video at our house every day for a whole summer. Hey, whatever works.
For the first time, my brother and I go to the same school and ride the same bus. Now there were two Calhouns. Uh oh. My brother and I also discover something truly amazing. I am speaking of Transformers. Life would never be the same.
1985
Then another revelation: Back to the Future. Easily my favorite movie. The very concept of time travel and a cool car in the same movie…and to think I wanted to go see Return to Oz instead. Pshaw.
It’s the third grade. I go to Disneyland for the first time. It was fun, but more than anything, I learned that Knott’s Berry Farm isn’t really a farm, and that long lines really suck. A life lesson learned.
The Jones’ decide to move. To Boise. I was pretty bummed out. But I move on, knowing that I’ll never move away.
1986
I move away.
For years, whenever we’d visit my grandparents in Wenatchee, I’d always say how much I wanted to stay there. When finally confronted with that reality, I wished I could take it back. But, as it would turn out, I’d be just fine.
Dad got a job as a computer systems analyst at the Chelan County PUD in Wenatchee (where he still works today). We stay for six weeks with my Grandma Evelyn and Grandpa Jess until we can finally move into our new house. Joel and I sleep in their camping trailer. Once we finally did move into the house, I remember think how huge it was compared to the one we had in Lewiston. Four levels! A hot tub room! A school with a cool playground out in back!
Despite a rough first few months, it all worked out.
1987
I turn ten.
By now, I’m starting the 5th grade and have a new group of friends from my classes: Eric (the kid down the street with the Transformers), Jeremy, Zeb, Josh. Matt and Jay from up the street. I remember at the time that I always seemed to be the one who, shall we say, wanted to cause the least trouble. I think that’s the best way to describe it.
Another rite of passage: summer camp. Well, it wasn’t exactly “summer” camp, but rather a four-day stay at Camp YMCA at Lake Wenatchee in the spring. Who could forget the mice in the cabin! The scared cabinmates, scared of the mice in the cabin! Our counselor who got out of bed in only his underwear, embarrassed by his girlfriend who was a counselor at a nearby cabin who came over because her boyfriend was unable to stop our screaming at the mice in the cabin! Those were the salad days.
1988
So far, Wenatchee was alright. Mom and Dad continued to play co-ed softball (as they’d done for years in Lewiston). The previous year we’d met a group of twenty-somethings whom we called “The Kids.” During a party at our house with them, I saw my first beer bong. Ah, growing up.
That was also the year that I started middle school, as well as the year that George Bush Sr. became president. I used to do caricatures of Dukakis and Bush which I drew all the time. I didn’t really get the politics side of it; I just thought they were funny to draw. They still are, I suppose.
I took enrichment classes again and was introduced to a program called Odyssey of the Mind. It was a competition for kids that dealt with creative problem solving. Our class didn’t compete, but I did learn to make papier mache. Believe you me, that’s a skill that paid off later in life.
That’s also the year that Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure came out. Once again, another time travel movie. And then…
1989
…Back to the Future II came out. Man, I’d waited for what seemed like forever for that thing to come out. Hey, I was 12. I didn’t have much else.
That was also the year I met April Rainey, the daughter of high school friends of Dad’s. She was the first girl I’d ever asked out. Of course, we were in the 7th grade, so we never quite went on a date. We were still great friends, though.
I also met Jacob Crouch, who I knew was in one of the other enrichment classes at school. I’d get to know him quite a bit better too.