Or maybe take a an overdose of some type of medication. This is something I had often thought about in the past, and I've always wondered...what would I feel as I slipped away. Just be tired and fall asleep, never to wake up? I was told that your stomach gets too upset if you take too much, and a lot of people vomit the pills before they go into full effect. But what if that didn't happen. Or would there be a transition? Not really awake, but not really dead? Like when you're half asleep, and you move seemingly with consciousness, but when you truly awaken later, you don't remember. Only, there would be no awakening later. There would be nothing.
Or would there be something? Is there really an after life? I don't entirely reject the possibility of something, just that I don't really think there is anything after death. But there's always a possibility, isn't there? Life is full of possibilities. Everything is a possibility...there are no certainties in life other than death. And that only covers the what aspect. It doesn't even begin to encroach upon the who, when, where, and why of the situation. I've always wondered how I'll die...when I'll die. Who will see me die. Who will be the first one to find my body after I'm gone. That sort of thing. Will it be a slow and painful death...or will I even see it coming? Maybe get in a car wreck one day...blink and oblivion. Or the wreck will leave me battered in the car, bleeding out of my vital organs, glass lacerating my face, my chest cavity crushed from the impact of the steering wheel. But given that...how much of the pain would you feel? I know the body releases various chemicals, adrenaline, other endorphines, to sway pain to a certain extent...and you can go into shock, and stop feeling. Or maybe even a broken neck...can't feel anything below the face, only the fragments of the windshield burning your eyes, crying blood, just waiting for the final release.
Maybe even one day, get my hands on another gun, and decide this time is the time. When I had my gun to my head, on numerous occasions, I always wondered what it was going to feel like. The bullet tearing through the roof of mouth, bursting into my skull and tearing at my brain, until the bullet jacketed during the exit of my cranium and sent my head in a cascade over the wall. Would time seem to slow down and I feel every slow centimeter of the bullet's path? Taste the sulphuric cordite in my mouth? The sting of the heat from the gasses of the bullet's expulsion, from the bullet itself. Maybe even tear my mouth with the front sight. Maybe it wouldn't even be enough the first time. Just collapse to the floor, face mangled and unrecognizable, gasping for breath, just waiting until enough blood runs out and you finally slip away. Or it would be bang and over.
