The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has
been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal No morality", or more
commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:

[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is
providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct
this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered
to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all
areas is:  P-R-A-Y-E-R

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE
procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into
the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus
will replace it with:

[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[I] Self control

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE (Believers Instructions Before
Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added
upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a
facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident
Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent
residence on the premises!
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any
Manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too
numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded.
For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be
scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter
Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying
others of this important recall notice!!!
Please take notice to this recall again the offer expires upon the manufactures return to redeem those who have received reconciliation with the maker.  I hope you take this opportunity to report all symptoms that relate to defectiveness to the number above. Once more time, I will repeat it. P-R-A-Y-E-R

Contact a brother or sister in the Lord if assistance is needed.  Remember that He will reclaim and repair all the broken hearted and always love you and your whole being unconditionally.  And please send this notice to all you care about.