Hi there stranger....I see that you've followed me to the nurses station. I'm here for my daily medicine to help me get better, I personally don't think the pills are working anymore. But it is interesting to note that the nurses do seem to help the voices in my head to be quiet for a while. There are many nurses here who call me friend. The staff says that it helps the healing process to have friends. I not sure if it is true , but I like them anyway. So, I thought that it would be nice to let you find out more about the nurses or my "friends". Oh one thing before I start on this, some of the nurses have nicknames because of their personalities. Just thought that I'd let you know before you started asking yourself "whats up with these names?"
So, I guess I'll introduce you to my "friends".....hehe it makes me laugh calling nurses my friends...hehe. Ah...ok.. now I feel better. So in no particular order, the first nurse to have you meet is Nurse Sirspanksalot,hehehehehehehe. Sirspanksalot is a good "friend" who has been around the asylum for a while. He's an interesting fellow. He often makes me forget that I hear voices and see things that aren't there. He is quick with a joke or an interesting story to make me laugh. All in all he's sane, but when it comes to women, he ought to be in a room next to me. Oh by the way, did I mention that he is a punk-ass BEEEEEAAAAAAATTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Let's see who else is around the station....oh it's NurseDethJester. I like to call him Deth, but you can call him "His High Lord Mr. DethJester Ruler of All you See and Hear". Only a small portion of the inmates get to call him Deth. Deth is really a great guy to be around. He knows a lot about whats going on in life in general, and it's nice to be able to talk to someone who can see things you don't. Trust me I see so many things, it's great to have someone else who sees things like me. But then again I'm the one who sees images and he's seeing stuff thats going on in life. There is a difference in there somewhere that one day I hope to be able to see. And by the way, Deth has some great stories to tell if you just listen once in a while. Oh, and I wanted to let you know that I have laughed in the face of Deth and survived, just ask him.
Hey look who's here....its Nurse Sarah the Everlamer. Now let me tell you, she is so gorg....oh what I mean to say is that she is very smart. I love the way she makes all of me laugh. Sarah the Everlamer enjoys many of the same things that I do so, let's build a snowman.....oh wait sorry.(I hate it when I break out in showtunes)(No you don't, you love showtunes)(That's right, I'm the one who hates showtunes)(Ok,ok,ok I got it now, he's the one that hates showtunes, give me a break, I forget sometimes). Anyway Sarah is great, and she has a most wicked smile and sarcasm that can smash your intestines till your butt twitches.
Let me think who else is around here........oh look it's Nurse Shayla. Shayla was around the hospital when I first arrived here. She's a good nurse who has helped me talk to other people besides myself. I don't see her as much anymore because she decided to get another job in different type of institution. But she does stop by the Sanitarium every once in a while, to check in on "friends". And I've heard tell from the other staff that she is expecting a little one in her future. I hope it's a good looking kid, unlike some of the kids I've seen these days. But I'm sure that the baby will have the same type of free spirit attitude that its mother has.
Well look who's here now...its Nurse Flyvvr. He happens to be a new employee here at the asylum. I had heard of him previously by reputation, but had not met the man. But when he started working here I hit it off with him.(People are going to think that you two are having sex)(But I'm not having sex with him)(Yeah but the impression is made)(I mean just because I want to anally-but rape him does not mean that we are having sex, in fact it means that I haven't had any type of sex with him)(And besides you do know he has a girlfriend right?)(Oh yeah I had nearly forgotten, she's cute) Anyway more about Flyvvr, he is younger than me, yet he has a lot of knowledge about things I have no clue about.(But than again I don't have much of a clue on anything now do I) But I'm glad to hear that he is getting better and won't be dying, so that is good.
Oh holy hells bells...its Nurse Fuzzz28. This Nurse gives me so much shit, that it is almost unbearable. But that's ok because I've got a page and he doesn't....hehehehehehe.(The power is starting to go to my head)(Hey can I get in on this too)(Yeah what about me)Ok,OK....Nurse Fuzzz28 is cool, don't get me wrong, he's a good "friend", it's just that I feel that its my turn to give him some shit back now. I can give you people an inside look into his life since everyone else in the Sanitarium knows about it. I'm just going to mention one name in his past history.......ROCHELLE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm sorry if none of you understand , but I do and well, so does Fuzzz28.(I'm horrible sometimes) Oh another thing I want to get off my chest about him, his fiance has never seen the inside of his apartment either. Ladies now please tell me what that says to you huh? HEHEHEHEHEH!!!! He won't like me talking about that if he finds out. But thats ok because I've now got him back for making fun of me. Can't a grown man cry, even if we are unstable. And by the way I did not cry he's just making that shit up.
Looks like Nurse Pope-Kali just started her shift. She's a really good nurse with a wonderful sense of humor, especially when I grab her ass. HEHEHEHE. She enjoys me grabbing her ass, I tell you. There is one thing that you have to know about her though, she doesn't have a soul anymore. The reason that a soul no longer resides inside of her, is because I have ownership over it, and its mine all mine. And don't think that a stole her soul, oh no, she gave it to me willingly. I know she has plans to one day get it back, but it won't work, because its mine all mine. Ok, that sounded like crazy talk, so its time to move on.
Nurse Barrister just got off the clock and is on his way home. I like Barrister a lot. He seems to have a way with words. He can be real punny at times. And then there are the other times, when the humor has left the building, and he stil carries on with the puns. But fortunately, no matter what, you end up with that smile on your face. (Wow I feel all sorts of fuzzy on the inside right now)(I feel like I want to throw up, with all this happy horse shit your babbling about)(Hey stop being mean, that was really sweet)(Come off it you know he's only saying that because the medication is starting to work) And that's all I got to say about that.
OK I've looked around and he isn't here, so I can tell you about another of the Nurses around here. But he doesn't like to be called a Nurse. So everyone calls him My Darklord Drew!!! Now I have to say that My Darklord Drew should be in one of the rooms next to me. I think he's crazier than I am, and that's saying a lot. This man comes up with the most insane things to say. And, I have him to thank for getting my brain stuck on two words. And those words are "POOP JUICE"!!! (I love saying poop juice)(I think it's so juvenile to say that)(Why do you laugh so at that stupid phrase?)(I can't help it, when those words are said I just lose all control and start to laugh maniacally, until my vein pops out on my forehead) And as a side note My Darklord Drew doesn't need this job at all. He has a another job that pays his bills. He draws some pretty mean looking elves. He just stays around the Sanitarium, so that he can mess with the minds of the patients. And he's done a magnificent job with my mind as you can tell. Or maybe you haven't quite decided on my mental state as of yet. Oh well.
Now that you are familiar with My Darklord Drew, you need to know about Nurse Petunia. Nurse Petunia is My Darklord Drew's friend, who helps him rip apart the patients fragile minds. Petunia is a pretty good guy. Oh, did I forget to mention that Petunia is a man, I'm sorry. One thing I would like to see, is for you to go up to a 6'5" Indian(He said I could say that)who weighs 280 pounds and call him Petunia. I've known Petunia as long as I've known My Darklord Drew, and it seems that sometimes they share a mind between themselves. They work well as a tandem.(People are going to think that they are lovers)(I thought that they were lovers, are you saying that they aren't?)(That's right, they are not lovers)(Wow, that comes as a shock to me)(It's ok many people have made that same error) Well enough about the two lov...opps...I mean "friends".
Well I need to go back to my room, but before I do there is one last Nurse for you to meet, Nurse God. For many years I did not have any "friends", and when I moved into the Sanitarium I met God. God and I became the closest of "friends". God has turned into more than a "friend" to me, and is really more like a brother. And I must say that it is nice to be have someone in here who is that close, so that I can have help in beating the living shit out of someone in here who tries to mess with me. I would have to say that it pays to have God on your side. Well I do need to go and get some rest. The voices are calling me. And I think that I can scam some pills away from one of the other patients. See you around.
