Weird Things To Do
To Make Your Parents Think You're Crazy
1) Turn on Jupiter from The Planets by Holst on at blasting volume and pretend you're a "normal" teenager listening to rock music.
2) Brush your teeth with salt after every time you eat or drink anything.
3) Put a pillow on the floor in the middle of your living room. Sit on it cross-legged, holding a stuffed animal. Read the dictionary to it out loud.
4) Declare that you want to be an opera singer. Sing Christmas carols really loud, with really bad vibrato. Sing as high as you can if you are a girl, as low as you can if you are a guy.
5) Tell them that you MUST have a blue whatever instrument you play. If you don't play an instrument, make up something, like a kazoo, trombone, piccolo, etc. Kneel and beg for it. When they refuse, roll around on the floor. Say that if they give it to you for Christmas/Hanukkah, you won't ask for any other present. Tell them that you will clean the entire house every day.
6) Go on the Internet. Start stomping your feet and laughing maniacally at random intervals. When they come and ask what is the matter, tell them "it was just the stupid internet."
7)Decide that you want to be some obscure sort of scientist, like someone who studies what extraterrestrial life forms might be like, or life forms at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, or the evolution of the snow leopard and why they are endangered now. Spend all your time researching it, at the library an at home on the internet. At dinner, talk about everything you have learned. Don't talk about anything else. Talk about how exciting and interesting it is, and how you can't wait until dinner is over so you can learn more.
8)Declare that you will now cook all meals. Have chips & dip (refried beans, cheese, guacamole, chopped black olives, sour cream, and salsa) at every meal. Explain that it is healthy, because it has protien (beans), calcium (cheese and sour cream), and vegetables (guacamole and salsa), and the chips are grain. Also make fruit salad. Squirt lemon, lime, orange, or grapefruit juice (or a mixture of them) on it for "salad dressing," because it can't be a salad without salad dressing. Make up weird dishes, like tofu cooked in salsa.
9)Get up at 3 every morning, take a shower, write in your diary, and go back to sleep. Somehow manage to wake them up (by dropping something heavy or something) so that they know you are doing this.
10)Watch Barney on television every time it's on. Dress up for it, like you are going to this really fancy restaurant, or concert. Sing along to all the songs. Turn the volume up really loud.