Urban Legends have been an important part of our society, serving as not only modes on entertainment, but as tales of caution, humor, and the supernatural.
Here are a few of my favorite legends as they appear, if you should find one, or feel one is intresting and should be posted, please send it to me, I may just post it.
NO RADIO
A woman who lived in Ney York City had a car but couldn't afford the $250 a month to park it in the garage. That maent her car was out on the street, prey to car theves and vandals. She could deal with getting up in the morning to find her car tagged by graffiti artists, but having a window smashed and her radio stolen time and time again was maddening.
Finally, after the fifth radio had ben ripped out of the dashbord, the woman went to her mechanic and told him to tape up the exposed wires and not bother putting in a new sound system. That night, when she parked the car on the street, she placed in the windshield a large sign that read "NO RADIO!"
The next morning she went outside to find the driver side window smashed. Taped to the dashboard was a sign that read "JUST CHECKING".
THIS TIME MICROSOFT HAS GONE TOO FAR
Sophisticated Hackers have found proof that Bill Gate's Evil Empire, Microsoft, has become too cocky. It's not some wacky theory linking Gates with the Anitchrist or demonstrating the links between Microsoft, the Rosecrucians, the Freemasons and the Illuminati. Instead, the secret is right where everyone can see it for themselves: in MS Word's Thesaurus function.
Here's how it works.
Type in "I hope Microsoft will rule the world."
"I should say so," the Thesaurus responds.
Another experiment uncovers Microsoft's faciest agenda.
Type in: "Kill all fags."
"Kill by beheading," the thesaurus responds.
Type in: "I'd like all dikes dead."
"I'll drink to that," the Thesaurus responds.
If you have MS Word on your computer, try this yourself! It really works.
THE BALL PIT
Here is a variation on the Urban Legend about people putting AIDS infected needles in theatear seats, so that when people sit down, they get pricked by the needles and infected with the AIDS virus.
A young mother took her son to his favorite fast-food restraunt on his third birthday. After he had eaten his lunch, the mother let her little boy play in the ball pit. A few minutes later he crawled out of the ball pit.
"It hurts mommy," he whined and pulled at his pants. But the woman couldn't see anything. Byt this time, the little boy was crying so she took him home.
Back in the house, she undressed the child and found a red welt on his buttocks. It seemed to the mother that there was some kind of splinter lodged under the skin. She called her pediatrician, but while she made the appointment the little boy began to vomit violently. Then his eyes rolled back into his head. The woman slammed down the phone, picked up her son, and droveimmediately to the nearest hospital emergency room.
As soon as they arrived, nurses rushed the little boy into an exmining room, but he died a few minutes later. The attending physician examined the welt and found a one-inch piece of hypodermic needle. The doctor sent the needle fragment to the lab for analysis.
An hour later, he found the heartbroken mother.
"The lab report has just come back," he said. "Can you tell me where you son ws today."
"He was at home with me all morning," the woman anwsered. "Then I took him out to lunch and let him play in the restraunt's ball pit. That's where he complained that something had hurt him."
The doctor took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry to tell you that your son died of a heroin overdose. Someone put a syringe full of herion into the ball pit, and it just happened to be your little boy who ran into it."
Variant: In another popular version of this story, the little boy encounters a nest of poisonous snakes in the ball pit.
This one comes from Kull667, thanks for thae great legend!
THE RHINO AND THE CRAZY GLUE
A man just out of college was visiting a petting zoo with his girlfriend when another couple approached him. They spoke a language that sounded like Russian, and the woman had a tube of Crazy Glue in her hand. She ak=sked the American a question which, of course, he didn't understand, and pantomimed applying the glue to her lips.
"Oh gosh no!" the man said, "That stuff's not for chapped lips. It's Crazy Glue. It's super sticky stuff. Here, watch."
The American took the tube of Crazy Glue from the woman, applied a generous amount to his hands, and then put his hands on the posterior of Sally, a tame aduly Rhino that was part of the petting zoo.
"See I can't go anywhere now. This glue sticks like crazy!"
The Russian tourists clustered around the rhino's butt to admire the adhesive qualities of Crazy Glue, but all this attention to her hindquarters made Sally nervous. She decided to trot over to the far side of the petting zoo enclosure. Naturally, she took the helpful American with her.
Now Sally was getting upset. No matter where she went or how fast she turned, she couldn't shake the human off her butt. Sally panicked and ran wildly around the enclosure. The other animals became terrified, too, and started a stampede.
In her frenzy, Sally chased all the visitors out of the area, destroyed a concession stand, trampled three miniture goats, and a small flock of ducks. She only stopped when a zoo caretaker shot her with a tranqulizer gun.
Sally collapsed on the ground, and the terrified, exhausted nimrod who had glued himself to the rhino's buttocks collapsed behind her. But the trouble didn't end there. A few minutes later, the laxative the zoo's vet had given her began to work.
Thirty gallons of rhino dung erupted out of Sally, Covering the helpless American. Several zoo employees worked with shovels to clear the dung away, while vets worked with solvents to free the man's hands. Which after a great deal of effort were eventually freed.
The American however, was covered with rhino dung, and did not smell too great, and was deeply embarassed to find that the Russian women were giggling at him and chatting excitiedly. A person who spoke Russian approached the poor man and translated for him what they were saying: "They loved the show, and they want to know when your next performance is."